January 31, 2015

Bill Belichick addresses "Deflategate" one last time before the Super Bowl

Brady as the bodyguard, and the Lombardi trophy, is what makes this art.

January 30, 2015

Mitt Romney has deflated balls.

*fleeing, giggling like a titmouse*

January 30, 2015

The one and only sane reaction to Mitt For President 3.0

January 27, 2015

"Seinfeld" explains Deflategate

Looking forward to watching my guys hoist the Lombardi on Sunday.

Don't like it?

Suffer.

January 27, 2015

ZOMG A NEW PATRIOTS CONSPIRACY YOU GUYS

The Patriots' Hotel's Fire Alarm Went Off Last Night

The Patriots' first night in Arizona was not a restful one; after getting in and doing their press conferences (including a particularly impassioned one from Bob Kraft), the team turned in—only to be woken up by a blaring fire alarm at around 1:30 local time.

A prank? Or...a curse? The league selects and assigns the team hotels, and the Patriots find themselves at the Sheraton Wild Horse Pass in Chandler, Ariz. That's the same hotel the Giants stayed in before shocking New England in 2008.

http://deadspin.com/the-patriots-hotels-fire-alarm-went-off-last-night-1682016590

This just in: give it a rest.



GO PATS

January 22, 2015

Twenty Pounds of BS in a Ten-Pound Bag

President Barack Obama delivers his State of the Union address, in the House Chamber of the
Capitol Building in Washington, Jan. 20, 2015.
(Doug Mills/The New York Times)

Twenty Pounds of BS in a Ten-Pound Bag
By William Rivers Pitt
Truthout | Op-Ed

Let me be perfectly clear from the jump: It was a fine speech, one of the best of President Obama's political career, which makes it automatically one of the best in the State of the Union's august history. The last fifteen minutes, in particular, were absolutely soaring, not just in rhetoric, but in the delivery as well. The man parked it as deep as it can be parked, like a majestic David Ortiz line drive deep into the bleachers at Fenway, thanks for coming, turn out the lights when you leave. No one does it better that Barack Obama when the bright lights are on.

...and when it was over, my immediate thought was of Steven the Irishman, the self-declared madman from the film Braveheart. Mel Gibson had just given his rousing speech to keep the Scots from fleeing before the battle at Stirling Bridge.

"Fine speech," said Steven. "Now what do we do?"

Indeed.

You see, apparently we've "turned the page" on the economic wasteland created by our Neo-Con/Neo-Liberal brain trust in Washington. The shadow of crisis has passed, and we're on a new foundation.

How many people do you know who actually feel that way?

Just about everyone I know is economically scared to death, and most of them are living paycheck to paycheck...and brothers and sisters, I know a whole hell of a lot of people, in all fifty states and most of the territories. I ain't Pew or Gallup, so take this with as many grains of salt you need to choke it down, but here's the hard truth: No pages have been turned, and the new foundation is just as porous as the old one...because it's the same old God damned foundation. Lather, rinse, repeat.

The President of the United States gave a speech on Tuesday night that would, in parts, have gone over like gangbusters at any Occupy rally in the country, and then he turned on a dime to brag about our massively impressive oil and gas production, i.e. fracking and maybe the Keystone XL pipeline, and then went on further to give an impassioned aria about climate change, at which point my brain crawled out of my ear and slithered into the bathroom, where it wept piteously into the cold porcelain truth of the base of the toilet.

The rest: http://www.truth-out.org/opinion/item/28649-twenty-pounds-of-bs-in-a-ten-pound-bag

January 21, 2015

Deflategate

"They are unanimous in their hate for me--and I welcome their hatred."

-- Franklin Delano Roosevelt, speaking down the long corridor of history for Patriots fans everywhere

Fuck it. If this is how it's going to be - media fuckwits looking to fill the next two weeks of dead air with Pats-hating - so fucking be it. Aaron Rodgers openly admitted to manipulating game balls with his bare face hanging out, and these same media gasbags went "Tee hee hee, isn't that cute!" Fuck those people, and fuck this shit.

The officials had all the balls before the game. They handled the game balls after every play. How do 11 balls get past that degree of scrutiny? Under the watchful unblinking eye of every camera on the planet, exactly when did the Patriots have the opportunity to tamper? This story reeks of bullshit, but of course they're going to run with it so douchekazoos like Michael Wilbon can get the OMG HOT TAKE OF THE DAY YOU GUYS by demanding the Patriots forfeit the Super Bowl. Fuck you.

...and guess what? All this is doing - ALL this is doing - is filling the Patriots' billboard with material that, in 11 days, will send those players boiling out of the locker room like methed-up wasps. You're winning the game for us already, you seeping bag of butt-nuggets, and we haven't even played a snap.

So thanks for that. See you a week from Sunday. Get a real job.

January 18, 2015

The vision of a champion

The vision of a champion is bent over, drenched in sweat, at the point of exhaustion, when nobody else is looking.

-- Mia Hamm



GO PATS

January 14, 2015

Ray Lewis can kiss every square inch of my ass

The most post-season wins by any quarterback, ever. Three Super Bowl championships, with two other appearances besides. Surpassed Montana's touchdown count last weekend. On his way to his - Christ, I can't even remember - fourth straight AFC championship game this weekend, I think. But yeah, you dipstick, it's all about one play in the snow thirteen years ago.

Ray Lewis doesn't get mad. He gets stabby. The Ravens are the most reprehensible organization in all of pro sports, and Lewis is a fair piece of the reason why. He helped facilitate a murder, and then sold out his crew to save his own ass. Go fornicate yourself with an iron bar, Ray. Why you aren't in prison picking mealworms out of your gruel is an enduring mystery.

Ray Lewis: Tom Brady Is Only Known Because Of The Tuck Rule
http://boston.cbslocal.com/2015/01/14/ray-lewis-tom-brady-is-only-known-because-of-the-tuck-rule/

A human clown car with blood on his hands.

January 13, 2015

Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness

"We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness."

That, right there, is the national hood ornament, the first thing you see, the first thing you learn, and the thing you remember forever after the first time you hear it. I have plenty of issues with the concept of "American Exceptionalism," but that, as a founding national ethos, is pretty damned exceptional.

Which is why, even in the age of the Affordable Care Act - somewhat helpful to many, to be sure, but it is for sure and certain the greatest boon to insurance companies in the history of the concept of insurance - I find the concept of health care in America as a multi-zillion-dollar for-profit industry to be among the most repugnant phenomenons going.

Without health, there is no Life...because you're dead from a disease you couldn't afford treatment for.

Without health, there is no Liberty, because you're trapped in a sick body and in a bed because you can't afford the treatments.

Without health, there is no pursuit of Happiness, because you're sick and broke from spending all of your money on trying not to be sick any more.

I hail from the great city of Boston, and know for a stone fact that this nation has the medical infrastructure, the medical equipment, the medical talent and the medical will to treat diseases that cost people all of their money when they become afflicted.

But we don't do it, because health care in America is a for-profit industry, just like petroleum speculation and pork futures, and that's just crazy...and a rank offense to the national ethos we hold so dear.

There is no Life, there is no Liberty, there is no pursuit of Happiness without health. Period, end of file.

According to the founding DNA of the nation, therefore, health care should be a basic right, a human right...and an entirely affordable right if we summon the political will to shave 1% annually off the "defense" budget.

Wouldn't that be something.