Coping with Helping

[madamesilverspurs]

How’s that for a topic?

Many of the working poor rely, out of necessity, on one or more agencies for assistance. And all too often those agencies seem to be staffed by people whose life experience has not yet gifted them with understanding beyond the technical training for their jobs. For instance: If you are disabled but can perform a certain kind of work it is assumed that the job will magically appear, that you will be able to get there, that you will be able to put in whatever hours are required.

If you are able to work, differing agencies have different parameters for earnings. Your income limit will be one figure at Social Security, another figure at Housing Authority, yet another figure at the office that determines your eligibility for SNAP benefits. And if you have a month wherein your health allows you to reach any of those limits, it’s assumed that you will do so for every month and you find yourself at risk of losing benefits that cannot be replaced by inconsistent and unreliable income.

When I was still able to work a halfway regular schedule I was required to submit work reports every month. Social Security just filed them; at social services, during my recertification, I asked if their income limits were the same as Social Security’s and was told that I’d know I’d gone over the limit when my benefits got cancelled. Some friends wanted to take me to a casino for my birthday, and I had to explain that I couldn’t risk it because winning even a small amount could cause me to lose benefits.

So, I’ve learned to smile sweetly and deliver whatever documentation they want when they want it. In the land of the free, the working poor aren't quite as free as those who live above that line. Our food, housing, and medical care are subject to the approval of faceless people who likely have no idea what it’s like to be on this side of their desks. There’s something to be said for “been there, done that”; it creates a fellowship of understanding that is beyond price. Forums like this one can help us to hold on to a measure of dignity that is too often denied us elsewhere.

[marym625]

1. K&R!

Great post. Thank you for sharing so much for sharing such personal information

[Half-Century Man]

2. I have always wondered how much of the budgets of the safety net programs

is eaten by the idle bureaucracy of that safety net program.

In my experience, the petty bureaucrats are more of the "Kim Davis" type of service provider. People actually mad you are asking for what you are legally entitled to.
The idea that a significant portion of the very limited funding goes to reactionary power trippers is very depressing.

[marym625]

3. +10000

[silverweb]

4. Agreed.

[font color="navy" face="Verdana"]I had to apply for assistance some years ago while I was waiting for Social Security Disability to be approved, and the attitude of the person behind the counter was absolutely demeaning. She looked at me and said, "You look able to find a job."

She had no idea what was going on or why I would be considered disabled for several years, but she was automatically disdainful - like I hadn't been through a battery of medical tests already to prove my eligibility. I was angry for a long time, which didn't help my condition at all.

Anyone who needs to deal with these petty, power-tripping types needs a thick skin, and it's disgusting.

[Downwinder]

6. if you were not there she would not have a job.

I don't understand the attitude, it is so common. Perhaps it is burnout from seeing so many in need and not being able to help them.

[silverweb]

7. Burnout's definitely a possibility.

[font color="navy" face="Verdana"]That's a very compassionate way of looking at it. I understand it happens a lot to social workers and those in other helping professions, too. Wish I'd thought of that when I was going through it.

[Downwinder]

9. It probably wouldn't have helped.

Anger has been the impetus for me to get through the process.

[silverweb]

10. Anger can be a gift, as the saying goes.

[font color="navy" face="Verdana"]It gets things done!

[w0nderer]

12. it could be burn out

but when i was in college as an adult 30+
i ran into a lot of people on the 'social services' education track

they were mostly "young, no experience, semi idealistic, thinking reading about something and saying 'i understand' meant 'it's ok'"

i invited a couple of them down to where i lived
about halfway there they balked and left...'this area isn't safe', 'those people are dealing drugs', 'he looks at me funny', 'i'm scared'

i can see burnout in someone that has done the job
but the people still doing the education showing that attitude?

sorry, that's not burn out, that's bad attitude
Not saying there aren't nice 'social services' people, there are, i had one who was a former merchant sailor, lots of life experience THEN went into Social Services...compassionate, understanding, strict but fair

[Worried senior]

16. I have a cousin

with many medical issues but she doesn't look too bad.

She applied for disability and after getting a lawyer and a few years she was finally approved. The judge was very disgusted with the system that she had been put thru the wringer for so long.

She applied for assistance which in this state if you didn't have children was almost impossible to get, she asked the caseworker how they expected people to live without help and the answer was "we don't". Makes you wonder how they would handle things if they were in the same situation.

She finally got SS but they doled out the money like it was coming out of their pockets, my husband got disability and luckily we weren't treated this way but that was back in the 80's and even under Reagan they were more respectable.

[silverweb]

17. Lack of empathy is endemic, it seems.

[font color="navy" face="Verdana"]Anyone who'd say "we don't" expect people to live, like that caseworker, belongs at another job that doesn't deal with human beings. "Pounding sand" would be a good option, I think.

I'm glad your cousin finally got her SS and hope the retroactive lump sum was substantial - and I'm very glad you and your husband were treated better when he got his disability!

[Live and Learn]

5. Even more is eaten up by the privatization that now have the contracts to run the programs.

I know from my experience that is true.

[silverweb]

8. Yes.

[font color="navy" face="Verdana"]Privatization, in my mind, is purely so monied investors can profit from the misery of others.

[w0nderer]

13. well it adds

a level of 'we need profit too' inside a system that doesn't have enough money already


just realized i said cake and you said cake
oh well


k&r

[silverweb]

18. Cake!

[font color="navy" face="Verdana"]Great minds and all that.

[w0nderer]

11. Fantastic post

And so much yes on 'social assistants' (the staff)

look i understand they have a nice college degree

now tell me that a snip of 22 years old who recoils at the smell of sweat
has been
raped (i haven't)
in a fight with multiple armed people (i have)
been on the street because you lost your roof (i have)
gone hungry for multiple days unless dieting

sorry...when they can't walk it, they shouldn't talk it, and the mere 'i can imagine' is insulting


you can imagine 4 broken bones and going to work cause it's all you can afford?
you can imagine lifting merchandise with torn muscles? without pain killer cause it's painkiller or food

Isn't it sad that we have to 'bow and scrape and beg' to 'social services' sometimes more than poor people had to do to 'patron/nobles' in the old days


my best friend lost half his housing support cause he got a $1 a day increase in pay
housing support was $80 increase in pay $27 or so, but he was border line on the 'rules'
so they cancelled his housing support, he lost the apartment


fortunately at the time i was living where i could let him take a room
sad though, they are supposed to help but often follow the rules to the point of making it harder

[silverweb]

14. What a f'd up system we have!

[font color="navy" face="Verdana"]It's good that you were able to help your friend - even better that you did. I'm so very sorry for the terrible hardship you went through personally, as well.

You're absolutely right that someone who hasn't experienced anything like real poverty just can't relate. Such is the great division between the moderately comfortable and the poor, encouraged and egged on by the very wealthy, who seem to love watching us fight over their scraps.

It's unfathomable that in the richest, most powerful nation in human history, such a divide is allowed to exist and that there's so little understanding across that divide. It has to change!

[w0nderer]

15. This is why i asked for the group

welcome so much silverweb
you sound you like you have so many ideas and tricks to share




but yeah.'no walk no talk' is a strong thing with me and will be with this group as well