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Thu Jun 7, 2018, 09:08 AM

I've lived with something for a while now.

I assume it's some type of anxiety. Every day that i go to work i feel extremely sick to my stomach and my brain starts worrying about what's going to happen. I know it has to do with the thought of interacting with customers. Unfortunately, i work in retail, so you see the problem here. This has gone on for 20+ years. I'm 42! I shouldn't feel like this. Somehow, I've managed to fake my way into management with every company I've worked for. I'm not a social person and am very introverted so it takes a lot of energy to interact. My wife says i should look into medication, but i would like to not go that route. I've thought about seeing someone about this, but still concerned about being prescribed medication. What would actually help is not having a job in retail. Anyway, just wondering if anyone who has had this type of anxiety could recommend any non-prescription ways to overcome it. Thanks for listening!

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Reply I've lived with something for a while now. (Original post)
rownesheck Jun 2018 OP
cpamomfromtexas Jun 2018 #1
rownesheck Jun 2018 #4
Trueblue Texan Jun 2018 #2
rownesheck Jun 2018 #5
woodsprite Jun 2018 #3
rownesheck Jun 2018 #6
woodsprite Jun 2018 #7
LiberalArkie Jun 2018 #8

Response to rownesheck (Original post)

Thu Jun 7, 2018, 09:25 AM

1. Were you abused as a childor young adult?

I ask because I was. I could barely hold a conversation with strangers until I was 30. It is difficult. I have anxiety now dealing with the same abusive father and aloof mother who constantly covers for him. He even goes so far as to threaten my children.

I use xanax only when necessary. I use herbal holy basil and other supplements as necessary.

Best of luck. I know itís hard.

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Response to cpamomfromtexas (Reply #1)

Thu Jun 7, 2018, 11:25 AM

4. I wasn't abused.

But i watched my mom suffer horribly at the hands of an alcoholic step father. Never thought of that before possibly being a cause of it. Thanks. I may look into supplements.

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Response to rownesheck (Original post)

Thu Jun 7, 2018, 09:32 AM

2. Have you tried exercising regularly?

Also ballroom dance lessons can address social discomfort in amazing ways that youíd just never dream of. Go check out Amy Cuddy on Ted Talks where she addresses the connection between body position and anxiety and self confidence. Iíve often wondered if the body positions required in holding a frame in ballroom dance doesnít account for its power to decrease anxiety and low confidence.

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Response to Trueblue Texan (Reply #2)

Thu Jun 7, 2018, 11:26 AM

5. I get lots of exercise at my job.

ballroom dancing! Scary! Not sure about that one. Thanks, though!

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Response to rownesheck (Original post)

Thu Jun 7, 2018, 09:50 AM

3. Have you tried meditation and exercise?

I started being that way in 1st grade and my dr. put me on "nerve" meds. I would literally throw up and have diarrhea every morning before school or on Sunday's before church (there's a whole horrid fundy story behind that one). On the meds, I could barely make it through the day without falling asleep. I was on those for 3 years. After that, it would raise it's head from time to time up through college, and I just tried to push it in the back of my mind and make do. Getting into the workforce, caring for sick parents, dealing with depressed and anxious kids, plus health issues, brought it rushing back.

I've found that quiet down time right after work, before I have to fix dinner, helps. It's funny - 4 of us return home and all go to our separate corners of the house for about an hour. I know the exercise works, but with work, kids, church, etc. it's hard to keep that up regularly. I am soooo not a morning person, and that's the only idea my Dr. gives me for trying to make it a daily habit. I know there were times in the past that exercise was the first thing I thought of when I was extremely stressed or anxious. I was happy with that and was thinking "This is so easy. Why didn't I do that before now." But it's making the time that isn't easy.

My best was when I was doing 40-45 min of moderate to high-moderate activity per day (walking 2.8mph with sprints of 3.5mph -- I don't run). For meditation, I listen to Andrew Johnson (he has videos on YouTube and an iPhone app) or The Meditation Podcast w/ Jesse and Jeane Stern. Yes, I pay the $2/mo so I can get to my favorite old episodes (especially the "falling asleep" episode), but they have 20-30+ minute freebies they offer. If you haven't done meditation before, I think the Andrew Johnson ones explain it well as he goes through the meditation, but it still takes practice. When I do it right, I can feel the weight of my body melting and I feel so relaxed when the session is done.

Replying to your message reminds me that I need to get back into regular mediation and exercise now that life has slowed down a bit for summer break. Maybe I can find "my best" again.

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Response to woodsprite (Reply #3)

Thu Jun 7, 2018, 11:28 AM

6. Thanks.

I haven't thought about meditating. That could be helpful. I'll try it. I just need to be consistent with it.

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Response to rownesheck (Reply #6)

Thu Jun 7, 2018, 12:59 PM

7. Yup! Consistency is the key!

I've heard it. Know it works. I have proven it to myself and remember saying "Why didn't I do this sooner?" During a heavy stress time at work, home, kids, etc. I was diagnosed with diabetes and high bp. I was able to drop 40 lbs, bring my bp down with minimal meds and bring my A1C down from 8.6 to 6.9. It took me a year, but it did work. Somehow, in the juggling act that is my life, I got off track and have had one devil of a time finding my way back.

Just gotta make myself do it!

Start off small and work your way up! I feel like I'm almost back to square one, not quite, but I'm taking my time with it.

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Response to rownesheck (Original post)

Wed Jun 13, 2018, 02:25 PM

8. Check out Aspergers.

I am 70 years old and found out at 69 that I was an aspie.

Things that we suffered as children seem to get better when we have a good immune system in our lat teens and into the 40's. It all seems to come back when we get older. Kind of a Bell curve.

The docs are just now starting to do research into senior Aspergers. It was always assumed that people just got over it or just developed ways of coping. We do in middle age, but later on it just slaps us in the head.

I thought I had out grown my asthma, I did not suffer until a few years ago. I never go anywhere without my puffer.

It was nice for me to find out about Aspergers as it really let me know why I am the way I am.

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