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Quixote1818

(28,903 posts)
Tue Apr 25, 2017, 01:05 AM Apr 2017

Understanding Validation: A Way to Communicate Acceptance

This is an incredibly well written article with incredible insight on a very important issue:

One of the four options we have in any problem situation is acceptance. Validation is one way that we communicate acceptance of ourselves and others. Validation doesn't mean agreeing or approving. When your best friend or a family member makes a decision that you really don't think is wise, validation is a way of supporting them and strengthening the relationship while maintaining a different opinion. Validation is a way of communicating that the relationship is important and solid even when you disagree on issues.

Validation is the recognition and acceptance of another person's thoughts,feelings, sensations, and behaviors as understandable. Self-validation is the recognition and acceptance of your own thoughts, feelings, sensations and behaviors as understandable.

Learning how to use validation effectively takes practice. Knowing the six levels of validation as identified by Marsha Linehan, Ph.D. will be helpful.


https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/pieces-mind/201204/understanding-validation-way-communicate-acceptance

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Understanding Validation: A Way to Communicate Acceptance (Original Post) Quixote1818 Apr 2017 OP
Validation is an important concept. Are you suggesting that we could use more of that around here? pnwmom Apr 2017 #1
Thanks for links. Shanti Mama Apr 2017 #2
Great article, thanks for posting. JudyM Apr 2017 #3

pnwmom

(108,925 posts)
1. Validation is an important concept. Are you suggesting that we could use more of that around here?
Tue Apr 25, 2017, 02:58 AM
Apr 2017

Perhaps so, but it does take extra time -- a lot more than flying off the handle!

For anyone who's interested, here's a good book on using validation with children.

https://www.amazon.com/Power-Validation-Addiction-Out-Control/dp/1608820335/ref=sr_1_fkmr0_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1493103326&sr=1-1-fkmr0&keywords=validation+bullies

Shanti Mama

(1,288 posts)
2. Thanks for links.
Tue Apr 25, 2017, 08:02 AM
Apr 2017

I was not particularly validated as a child. Through therapy etc I came to realize it and tried my best to validate my own kids. The proof is in the pudding, baking now, so to speak, but I think it's critical.
Many thought I was approving of bad decisions. I was not, or I was trying not to.

Please, do not invalidate. This is the worst.

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