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Tue Apr 25, 2017, 01:05 AM

Understanding Validation: A Way to Communicate Acceptance

This is an incredibly well written article with incredible insight on a very important issue:

One of the four options we have in any problem situation is acceptance. Validation is one way that we communicate acceptance of ourselves and others. Validation doesn't mean agreeing or approving. When your best friend or a family member makes a decision that you really don't think is wise, validation is a way of supporting them and strengthening the relationship while maintaining a different opinion. Validation is a way of communicating that the relationship is important and solid even when you disagree on issues.

Validation is the recognition and acceptance of another person's thoughts,feelings, sensations, and behaviors as understandable. Self-validation is the recognition and acceptance of your own thoughts, feelings, sensations and behaviors as understandable.

Learning how to use validation effectively takes practice. Knowing the six levels of validation as identified by Marsha Linehan, Ph.D. will be helpful.


https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/pieces-mind/201204/understanding-validation-way-communicate-acceptance

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Reply Understanding Validation: A Way to Communicate Acceptance (Original post)
Quixote1818 Apr 2017 OP
pnwmom Apr 2017 #1
Shanti Mama Apr 2017 #2
JudyM Apr 2017 #3

Response to Quixote1818 (Original post)

Tue Apr 25, 2017, 02:58 AM

1. Validation is an important concept. Are you suggesting that we could use more of that around here?

Perhaps so, but it does take extra time -- a lot more than flying off the handle!

For anyone who's interested, here's a good book on using validation with children.

https://www.amazon.com/Power-Validation-Addiction-Out-Control/dp/1608820335/ref=sr_1_fkmr0_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1493103326&sr=1-1-fkmr0&keywords=validation+bullies

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Response to Quixote1818 (Original post)

Tue Apr 25, 2017, 08:02 AM

2. Thanks for links.

I was not particularly validated as a child. Through therapy etc I came to realize it and tried my best to validate my own kids. The proof is in the pudding, baking now, so to speak, but I think it's critical.
Many thought I was approving of bad decisions. I was not, or I was trying not to.

Please, do not invalidate. This is the worst.

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Response to Quixote1818 (Original post)

Tue Apr 25, 2017, 11:47 AM

3. Great article, thanks for posting.

Pulled together some important angles.

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