Are feminist generally "anti-sex"?

[Texasgal]

That's what I am getting from reading some posters here on DU.

I'd like to say, that I enjoy sex very much. I enjoy my husband and I have enjoyed my sexual past. I am not a prude. I just want some RESPECT. I think that Women in general ( in these times ) don't receive it.

Women are consistently sexualized.. we are in the low totem pole on health research and development. Women make less money, are forced to deal with issues regarding child birth.

WTF? Is it possible to RESPECT a Woman?

Jaysus! Is that too much to ask?

So tell me... Feminists.. is sex bad?

[DURHAM D]

4. how insulting...

[Texasgal]

5. Sarcasm?

I am not fooled.

[seattleblah]

2. If you don't like something disgusting...

it isn't being anti!

[MadrasT]

9. Nice try, again

[seabeyond]

11. ya. what is this.

i noticed.

[MadrasT]

16. Also tried on another thread I started in PA group.

It is a troll.

[Skittles]

3. I'VE HAD IT WITH MEN

LIKED IT TOO

[MadrasT]

15. *grins*

Men can be pretty great.

[Skittles]

18. yes they can

yes INDEED

[Sarah Ibarruri]

33. LOL! nt

[Sarah Ibarruri]

7. Not at all! Sex is the most thrilling, most quickly fulfilling, fabulous thing!

There's so much I get from the other during sex. It provides for me confirmation that my body is feminine, wonderful, incredible, amazing! It gives me a glow that lasts for a long while! There's nothing wrong with feeling feminine, and it goes right along with being a feminist for me.

I don't think I could feel aroused and attracted to a man who feels threatened by women, and I can sense that in a man. The first that come to mind are men that believe women need to be controlled. Those men are repulsive.

[RandySF]

8. I would think feminism is about freedom to make choices.

It should be about the freedom to be a working mom, or stay at home (economics permitting), enjoying sex with one's partner, even the freedom to watch and/or make porn.

[seabeyond]

13. a person has the right

to do a lot of things. the right to drink, do drugs, over eat, not exercise, gamble, ...... that is a choice.

it doesnt mean we do not talk about how it can be unhealthy to them, to their family, to society as a whole.

[redqueen]

27. I wonder if I was the only person

who was reminded of this:

http://www.theonion.com/articles/women-now-empowered-by-everything-a-woman-does,1398/

[seabeyond]

29. Women Now Empowered By Everything A Woman Does

Klein said that clothes-shopping, once considered a mundane act with few sociopolitical implications, is now a bold feminist statement. "Shopping for shoes has emerged as a powerful means by which women assert their autonomy," Klein said. "Owning and wearing dozens of pairs of shoes is a compelling way for a woman to announce that she is strong and independent, and can shoe herself without the help of a man. She's saying, 'Look out, male-dominated world, here comes me and my shoes.'"

*

Whereas early feminists campaigned tirelessly for improved health care and safe, legal access to abortion, often against a backdrop of public indifference or hostility, today's feminist asserts control over her biological destiny by wearing a baby-doll T-shirt with the word "Hoochie" spelled in glitter. "Don't tell this bitch what to do," said Kari Eastley, 24, a participant in the Oberlin study and, according to one of her T-shirts, a "Slut Goddess." "I wear what I want when I want, and no man is going to tell me otherwise. We're talking Pussy Power, baby."

*

"Not every woman can become a physicist or lobby to stop a foundry from dumping dangerous metals into the creek her children swim in," Klein said. "Although these actions are incredible, they marginalize the majority of women who are unable to, or just don't particularly care to, achieve such things. Fortunately for the less impressive among us, a new strain of feminism has emerged in which mundane activities are championed as proud, bold assertions of independence from oppressive patriarchal hegemony."

"From midnight cheesecake noshers to moms who don't fool around with pain, feminist achievement covers a broad spectrum," said Bradley in her acceptance speech. "It is great to be a female athlete, senator, or physician. But we must not overlook the homemaker who uses a mop equipped with convenient, throwaway towelettes, the college co-ed who chooses to abstain from sex, and the college co-ed who chooses to have a lot of sex. Only by lauding every single thing a woman does, no matter how ordinary, can you truly go, girls."

[MadrasT]

31. This is freaking *awesome*.

So much win.

[Sarah Ibarruri]

34. Unfortunately, staying at home cleaning and cooking was never a choice women had

It was a requirement. No questions, and no ifs, ands, or buts.

What's worse, if it had only consisted of cleaning, cooking and childrearing, fine, but if you look back across history, you'll see women also had to bring in money. So "staying at home" consisted of cleaning, cooking, childrearing, providing care for the man, providing sex even when doing so would mean even more pregnancies and more children to care for, as well as making money for the household, without which the household could not survive. Many women were all those things, as well as pickers, planters, seamstresses, knitters, took care of other kids, and did multiple more occupations that brought money into the household. All the guts but none of the glory.

[wildflower]

35. Your post puts me in mind of some of the women in the Women's Room

Have you read it?

[Sarah Ibarruri]

36. No, I haven't. I should. nt

[seabeyond]

10. the only way men seem to have to attack women is with their sexuality.

have you noticed, whether it be slut shaming them, or calling them prudes, one way or another it is always with sexuality. it is the very insecure man that cannot argue on merit, but must resort to name calling.

people that argue to call women disrespectful names, or people that argue their porn, have heard the argument more than once that it is not about prudery, but about respecting another human being. they get it. they know it. and they ignore it. because the only stance they have is a strawman argument.

what i dont ever do is clarify for all... i am not a prude. i enjoy sex.

my arguments are not about me. i dont have to validate my sexuality. ever. to a man.

[CrispyQ]

37. Slut/Prude - and the same woman can be accused of both at different times.

[redqueen]

12. No, that's just anti-feminist propaganda.

Some people are really threatened by the idea that women might not stay the sex class. Anyone who objects to and challenges that status is almost universally vilified (indeed, you can find many examples of this here on DU).

It's nothing new, but it is sad to see how much it's been embraced by so many.

I'm sure you've seen feminist discussions derailed with wild goose chases about such idiocy. People who bring up these canards are not interested in discussing feminist ideas. These lies are just red herrings used to derail discussions; to distract from the issue being discussed.

http://www.snopes.com/quotes/mackinnon.asp

[MadrasT]

14. As far as i am concerned

Every woman gets to decide for herself.

Personally, I like sex.

If a woman decides she doesn't like sex, that's fine too.

Quite a lot of feminists I know are very sex-positive.

I am for more of a "sex-normal" attitude, myself. It's nice and good, but I dont need to make a big deal out of it.

I think the anti-sex meme comes from people who feel threatened by feminists.

[kestrel91316]

17. FeministS? Hmmmmm, let me think about that

for a minute............

No.

Not just no, but HELL, NO. YMMV.

[Tumbulu]

19. I am pro respect

and do not blame sex or the liking or disliking of it for the patriarchy. I blame male insecurity.

[libodem]

20. I'm old school

From the 70's. I think the pill and women's liberation played a large part in a sexual revolution back then. The rules were strict for women. Reputations were protected.

Anyway I take a sex positive view. It's okay for women to like sex these days where in the past it was very shame based. The 70's helped shape men to be more sensitive and women more assertive and capable of supporting themselves. Men pitched in more at home with childcare and housework and women went out and brought home a second income. We paved the way. We traded some roles that were hard and fast and lived to tell the tale. Some of us let the hair grow out on our legs and under our arms, wore short hair and no make up. Earth mothers. Guys grew their hair long. And didn't know if they should still open our doors. We stopped touching when we danced and did our own thing. We had that golden age before AIDES. We were able to experiment a
little more than our foremothers. We didn't have to marry the first guy we ever had sex with.

Now we've even had Venus and Mars. I find that if I'm with a guy that is too sensitive, and fussy I lose respect. I have to have a masculine intelligent guy. I need to feel feminine for the spark to ignite. An androgenous buddy doesn't get my juices flowing. I need chemistry and electricity. So we didn't invent any thing new. It still works the same. We did blaze some trails that no man or women had tried before.

I notice a sex-negative trend in some writing I see. I call it the 'rape culture paranoia' group. I don't care for that tact myself. I like guys. Sex is awesome. And I hope the killjoys lighten up and live a little.

[Warren DeMontague]

21. No.

Most are not.

[BlueIris]

22. Only pathetic woman-haters think that.

It is by far the weakest slur used against women and feminists. Whenever I encounter anyone using it or buying into the bullshit characterizations of us as either "sex positive" or...whatever the opposite of "sex-positive" is supposed to be, I lose all respect for the person spewing that garbage.

[redqueen]

23. That's a very important point.

"Sex positive" is a BS term just like "pro life".

It is right-wing style framing and it is disturbing to see it still being thrown around as if its meaningful.

http://www.newleftproject.org/index.php/site/blog_comments/sex_positive_feminism_a_term_that_needs_retiring

[MadrasT]

25. I have to disagree.

I know a number of self-proclaimed "sex positive feminists" who are very proud of their sex-positivity and very vocal and "in your face" about it.

I don't think I can call it "right-wing style framing" when progressive, democrat voting feminists are framing themselves that way.

The right wing may have glommed onto it as a talking point to try to make feminists look bad somehow, but I don't think the origin of "sex positive feminism" comes entirely from... right field.

[redqueen]

26. It is the framing method that is a right wing tactic.

Did you read the linked piece?

Just as the term "pro life" necessarily and implicitly casts those who think a woman should be able to control her own reproductive system as "anti life", people who think porn and prostitution are feminist choices to choose cast everyone who disagrees as "sex negative", which is pure, unadulterated BS.

In the context of political activism, pro life is not pro life, its anti choice.

Similarly, sex positivity is not sex positivity, its usually used to mean some combination of pro porn, pro sexual objectification, and pro prostitution.

[MadrasT]

28. OK i do inderstand your point

And I do argue with the folks I am talking about that "sex positive" possibly isn't the term they want to be using to label themselves, for the same reasons you cite. I just never saw it as particulary a "right wing talking point".

I do see it as a harmful label no matter what a person's politics are and I think self identified "sex positive" folks who are really vocal about sexual freedom should choose a different label.

[redqueen]

30. Yes, sex positivity outside the context of feminism

is a meaningful and valid idea. Sadly the term has been hijacked by certain feminists so yes, it has to be used with a disclaimer now by anyone who isn't arguing for the empowefullness of prostitution or what have you.

The person who wrote that piece for the New Left Project mentioned that serious feminists who sincerely believe that porn and prostitution can be feminist have stopped using the term due to the dishonest framing, so that's good.

[Scout]

24. no. some posters on DU are just stupid bigots. n/t

[PassingFair]

32. Feminists are NOT "generally anti-sex".

Some feminists might be interested in actually HAVING sex
in varying degrees.

I am a feminist.

My daughters are feminists.

I would be LITERALLY HORRIFIED if either one of them
went to her "marriage bed" a virgin.

I told them: "You'd better shop around!"

Yet I also caution them against men who objectify women
and men who want you to act "like a lady" and men who
want pictures.

Does that make me "anti-sex"?

[Agnija]

38. Antisexuality

Sex is the main reason of illnesses, abortions, conflicts, unwanted children, homicides and suicides also it is very non-aesthetic and related with excretion organs. Sex places primitive instincts higher than intellect, moral. I am not only antisexual but also feminist. Woman is not an object of sexual exploitation.

[In_The_Wind]

39. Hello Agnija. Methinks you and I have a difference of opinion on everything ...

except for this one thing.

Woman is not an object of sexual exploitation.