The 12-Year-Old S*** Meme and Facebook's Misogyny Problem

[seabeyond]

very good GD thread. http://www.democraticunderground.com/10021424175

i was not aware of this on facebook. i do not use it. my kids do not. my husband doesnt. we do not participate in this crap cause i feel it normalizes negative behaviors and i do not want my kids to learn these behaviors are acceptable. but, if this is just not a huge part of the problem we as a people have as a whole, but particularly our girls and women. normalizing the misogyny. letting it become a part of who we are. and the people that accept, allow, participate. we say no to racism and homophobia. and we say, meh.... to misogyny.





http://www.huffingtonpost.com/soraya-chemaly/12-year-old-slut-meme-and_b_1911056.html

You either help change it or you actively tolerate it and encourage the perpetrators of violence by doing so.

Earlier this week I wrote about how the use of photography (especially without the subject's consent) intensifies harassment, abuse and violence against women. Quicker than I could type "Feministe" this Change.org petition appeared in my inbox: "Please sign to remove 12 Year Old Slut Memes from Facebook." One of the offending page's profile photos is of a pink-lipped and pouty child (she looks a lot younger than 12) wearing a tank top that reads "I love COCK." Now, anyone can create a page in Facebook (published at Facebook's discretion) and this page doesn't openly advocate violence against 12-year-old sluts. It is, however, the virtual equivalent of street harassment and, as such, demonstrates the way the photography serves to exponentially magnify the effects of subtle and real violence along a broad spectrum

The page, which posts photographs of girls and women so that others can comment on their sluttiness, has more than 200,000 likes.

For example, " Kicking a slut in the vagina and losing your foot inside" is still up and does not specify age of slut to kick and, as Cath Elliot pointed out in the Guardian last year, if " Roses are red, violets are blue... I've got a knife, get in the van (and multiple variations thereof), is not "hateful, threatening or gratuitously violent, I don't for the life of me know what is." "Roses are red" is not controversial however, it's just plain , like these side-splittingly clever pages and communities: "Seeing a Pregnant Woman and Wanting to Punch Her In the Face" (47K); I just want to get drunk and punch the slut in the face; or, accompanied by a photo of a woman down on her knees, hair gripped in a man's hand..."got a sec you slut, Hit the deck you mut (sic)" (Note: this group appears to have been removed since the initial research for this post). "I'd Punch You if You Were a Woman" ("This is a Page fully dedicated to beating woman unmercifully! Haha kidding of course.&quot Then there's You are a Slut Get Hit by a Car and last but not least, in the less than 5 minute survey that I just undertook using search terms like "woman," "hit," "slut," and "punch," is the whole "Shut the F**k Up and Make Me a Sandwich" meme -- punctuated occasionally by hilarious photos of women bleeding and with blackened eyes and bruises. The terms "babe" and "bitch" additions are optional for the search.

it's that so many people find the idea of violence against women so entertaining and that the people running Facebook flaunt such an openly sexist and misogynistic interpretation of their policies.

[whathehell]

1. Thank you. You are correct and I hope everyone reads your entire post.

as it makes clear the very obvious Misogyny problem in this country.

I don't want to hear the knee-jerk "freedom of speech", rap, either, as to paraphrase writer Susan Brownmiller,

substitute "African American" for "Woman" and "Nigger" for "Slut" and these pictures and ugly "sentiments"

would immediately be seen as Bigotry and Hate Speech and condemmed accodingly.

Since females are, on average, 60 lbs lighter and at least three inches smaller, than men,

they are, on an INDIVIDUAL level, every BIT as vulnerable as racial and sexual minorities. That being the case, as a group, they deserve as much "concern" and Progressive

Condemnation as the hate speech directed at Racial Minorities and Gay men, who, though "vulnerable" as a

Group, are often FAR more able to protect themselves on an Individual PHYSICAL level than Women.

As Katha Pollit of the Nation says, "Misogyny is the last acceptable prejudice of the Left".

[Tumbulu]

2. Good points

But I cannot read the entire post as it really upsets me.

My goodness, what terrible things to be "liking" on facebook! Or anywhere else.

I blame Rush Limbagh for this and porn. Both.

[whathehell]

3. Thanks. I understand about the "upset"...It feels that way to me as well, which

is the main reason I re-considered a decision to get a grad degree in women's studies: I

realized I'd be immersed in that shit and would find it intolerable.

God bless the steely courage of feminists like Susan Brownmiller of "Against Our Will"

and Catherine McKinnon who, along with the late Andrea Dworkin, actually wrote up legislation

in Minnesota that submitted that Pornography was legally objectionable, not because it was "obscene",

but because it diminished women's Fourth Amendment rights to Equality. It didn't pass, of course,

but it opened up the subject from a new and interesting perspective.

[redqueen]

4. "Misogyny is the last acceptable prejudice of the Left".

Hear fucking hear!!!!

And some of us are fucking SICK TO DEATH of it.

[seabeyond]

5. "fucking SICK TO DEATH of it." Hear fucking hear!!!! LOL. nt

[whathehell]

6. Aint it the truth?...I was glad to see my own convictions in print.

And yes, LOTS of us are fucking SICK of it!

[redqueen]

7. Not nearly enough, yet. Katha nailed it,

and we see evidence to back up her assertion here on DU on a depressingly regular basis.

[whathehell]

8. Yep...That is correct and one thing I want to mention, although I know it's been talked about a lot

are these (to me) strange women -- mostly young, I think -- who seem to have NO

concept of feminism!...They're on here, talking the old lefty talk and that's good,

but I have no idea WHY or HOW, with that, they grew up both defending and PRACTICING

sexism against themselves and other women.

Well, I mean I have SOME idea -- they've been dragged into the misogynistic culture simply by osmosis,

or they are VERY anxious to "please men"....My older sister, interestingly enough, has that problem and

though I wouldn't call her "sexist", she does seem a bit "clueless" about feminism even THOUGH,

by virtue of her professional accomplishments (she's a judge and went through law school in the 80's) she's

The New Woman Incarnate. Myself, I'm kind of an "underacheiver" by comparison.

This get's into another realm, but I'm curious about something and that is, how many here who would call

themselves strong feminists, were, as kids, "daddy's girls"?...I certainly was, and I read once that girls who

were (as opposed to "mother's daughters", like my sister) tend to be natural feminists...I think it's an interesting

observation and would love to hear from people about ALL of this!

[redqueen]

9. Hmmm, interesting...

In my family it's definitely the opposite. My sister was daddy's girl and bought into objectification as natural. I was mommy's girl and I resisted femininity, but bought into it eventually, got all the rewards but had my eyes opened by a good lefty display of misogyny, and that ended that little illusion.

[seabeyond]

10. Difinitely a daddy's girl and still, lol. But, I also had a really strong

Mom. I was the youngest and only girl. My world has been boys and men.

[whathehell]

14. My mother was strong as well.

I'm also the youngest, no brothers, just one older sister.

[seabeyond]

16. gotta learn

diplomacy being the youngest.

[MadrasT]

12. Interesting observations.

Yes, women who defend and practice sexism puzzle me completely. My only explanation is that they do it for male approval.

Regarding the daddy's girl thing... hmmm... I was pretty disconnected from both my parents. I'd say I got my feminist streak almost entirely from my mother. She wouldn't let me have a Barbie doll (because she thought she was a crappy role model), had a fit when my grandmother gave me an EZ Bake oven (because it was so stereotypically 'woman in the kitchen') and it went on from there.

[whathehell]

15. Thanks.

It's too bad you felt disconnected from both of your parents...Your mother

sounds cool, at least in the feminist zone, as it were. I think it's great

that she thought Barbie a "crappy role model", same with the EZ bake...You're

probably substantially younger than me, 'cause no one even used the word "role mode"

when I was growing up in the fifties and early sixties.

[MadrasT]

17. LOL, I am almost 50 so a little younger.

Mom was tossing "role model" around in the early 70s, and no way was she raising me to be anyone's wife or "accessory". She taught me to cook and sew because they are practical skills. She also taught me how to change a tire and patch drywall and read when I was 3 and do algebra when I was 7.

It was a tough childhood (emotionally) but my parents and I have made peace and it is OK now.

(I can't believe I am typing "I am almost 50"... how did that happen?)

I loved that EZ bake oven. Before microwaves I used it to heat up Tater Tots for snacks. Mmmmm, Tater Tots.

[seabeyond]

18. you know, it just happens.

(I can't believe I am typing "I am almost 50"... how did that happen?)

i always wanted the easy bake, and never got one.

[redqueen]

11. Just curious... is there any other bigotry where a standard response

is that the members of the group targeted by the bigoted material should just avert their eyes and ignore it?

[MadrasT]

13. <snort>

I can't think of any other examples.

If you can step back and look at it without getting into an internal uproar, it is a fascinating sociological phenomenon. Hard to be that detached though, when it affects, oh heck, half the world's population, and when you're one of those affected.

The thing is, ignoring it (or playing the lofty "well I'm not offended" game) doesn't mean it isn't happening.

[seabeyond]

19. actually, a poster did to lbgt. they were flabbergasted. WHAT???? lol. man, ....

they didnt shut up either.

and cheers to them.

lighten up....

[redqueen]

20. Ha! Not a standard response by any means...

but it did happen at least once? I'd love to have seen that exchange. I can only imagine the shock.

[seabeyond]

22. i went looking for the thread, couldnt find it.

meh.... my bad. but, i was glad to see people not allowing the shut up and quit being victim meme.

[MadrasT]

21. Yep, I have seen it occasionally.

And if you tell any other oppressed group to lighten up or ignore derogatory language on DU, you're OMG horrible and likely tombstoned if you keep it up. (Rightly so.)

Women are the only ones who get told to STFU and lighten up, and have to endure it.

"MILF", har har har

All too often, BY OTHER WOMEN.

[seabeyond]

23. but really madrast

when i read the other forum, i am not hearing a lot of different language, or threads that would be no different than what we post.

so i see it more as a surface issue, not within contradiction between the two groups.

after all the time paying attention to this, and listening to a lot of women over the last half year, i am questioning how different we feel about the issues. bottomline feel. not the unique individual situations but as a whole.

[whathehell]

24. None that I can think of and certainly none on DU.

I just got done being NOT impressed by Jay-z or whatever the ef his name is,

saying "Being bigoted about gays is just as bad as being bigoted against Blacks".

I answered "Yes, Jay-Z, and being bigoted against women is just as bad as being bigoted against EITHER,

so maybe rap music could stop with the B word now"?

Someone named Harmonicon said "Well, is there some indication that he IS biased against women"?

and then added that he probably "pays" women well for their work and they "make money" from his music.

I answered "If he addresses women as "bitch' or calls them that as a synonym for woman, he's bigoted.

Harmonicon then basically accused me of "censorship", but WickerWoman came in to set him straight.

Otherwise, most everyone shut up, even though it has 33 recs...Any of this sound familiar?

You can see for yourself. http://www.democraticunderground.com/?com=view_post&forum=1137&pid=20501

[seabeyond]

25. you all did you

i am not jumpin in. too tired and off to read some fiction....

very frustrating that conversation.