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2016 Postmortem
Related: About this forumHow to Tell if You’re Involved in the Petraeus Scandal
The New Yorker, The Borowitz Report, Andy Borowitz
http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/borowitzreport/2012/11/how-to-tell-if-youre-involved-in-the-petraeus-scandal.html#ixzz2CAAkSat3
In response to a high volume of panicked phone calls from the general public, the C.I.A. has published a new informational brochure entitled How to Tell if Youre Involved in the Petraeus Scandal.
The C.I.A. rushed to produce the brochure after it became clear that as many as one in three Americans may have some involvement in the Petraeus affair.
snip
The booklet includes a simple, user-friendly checklist that should help people determine whether they are at risk for being implicated in the scandal:
Have you ever met David Petraeus? Have you ever received and/or sent shirtless photos of an F.B.I. agent? Have you ever exchanged e-mails with Jill Kelley? Under five thousand pages of e-mails and youre probably O.K., but anywhere between ten thousand and fifteen thousand pages of e-mails could potentially mean youre involved in some way,.
The C.I.A. rushed to produce the brochure after it became clear that as many as one in three Americans may have some involvement in the Petraeus affair.
snip
The booklet includes a simple, user-friendly checklist that should help people determine whether they are at risk for being implicated in the scandal:
Have you ever met David Petraeus? Have you ever received and/or sent shirtless photos of an F.B.I. agent? Have you ever exchanged e-mails with Jill Kelley? Under five thousand pages of e-mails and youre probably O.K., but anywhere between ten thousand and fifteen thousand pages of e-mails could potentially mean youre involved in some way,.
I just checked my gmail account. There's a photo of a shirtless man. How do I determine if he's an FBI agent?? Do they have a special tattoo or birthmark?? How did I become involved????
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How to Tell if You’re Involved in the Petraeus Scandal (Original Post)
DreamGypsy
Nov 2012
OP
LisaL
(44,973 posts)1. Since I've never met any of them, I am pretty sure I am not involved.
ellisonz
(27,711 posts)2. That's probably a sign you're involved.
To launch a cover-up: Wash with bleach and snap your heels three times.
LiberalFighter
(50,895 posts)3. Probably has a birthmark in the shape of Brazil on his penis.
Agschmid
(28,749 posts)6. I love the Good Wife! n/t
Samantha
(9,314 posts)7. I absolutely love it
and it just keeps getting better and better.
Sam
Whisp
(24,096 posts)5. I wonder if Kevin Bacon was involved. n/t
kalli007
(683 posts)8. Oh noes! I have 3 different email accounts....
Work, University, and personal! My involvement could be YOOOOGE!!!
davidpdx
(22,000 posts)9. If you have been named an honorary consul to a foreign country
You know you maybe involved Petraeus Scandal.