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Wed Sep 28, 2016, 02:34 PM

10 Emotional Abuse Tactics That Trump Blatantly Used in the First Debate

Good article, worth a read.

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Everyday Feminism
Elana Sztokman
http://everydayfeminism.com/2016/09/trump-emotional-abuse-tactics/


Therapists around the country are reporting spikes in patients dealing with election anxiety.

Clinical psychologist Stephen Holland told The Atlantic, “Among people who are not Trump supporters, we’re hearing a higher level of concern and dismay than I’ve probably heard in any election cycle, in 25 years of clinical work.”.... Although this may ring true in all elections, this time one of the primary causes is Donald Trump.

<snip>

Trump uses toxic tactics of emotional abuse – especially emotional abuse aimed at women – in order to put other people down. The tactics are powerful, emotionally violent, and often disarming against their victims....

If you’re not accustomed to identifying and recognizing these tactics as abusive, they can leave you with unexplained emotional tremors. And if you are used to them – that is, if you’re a survivor of emotional abuse – watching this happen in public can be triggering and frightening.

<snip>

With the goal in mind of shedding light on emotionally abusive strategies, here are ten of the toxic tactics that Trump has been using during this campaign, including some examples from the recent debate.

1. Lying... "We’re used to politicians who stretch the truth, who waffle or dissemble, who emphasize some facts while omitting others. But I can’t think of any other political figure who so brazenly tells lie after lie, spraying audiences with such a fusillade of untruths that it is almost impossible to keep track.”...

2. Denial...

3. Blame Shifting... At one point, Clinton even quipped, “I’m pretty sure that by the end of the night, I will have been blamed for everything that ever happened.” Yes, that was exactly Trump’s intention. Indeed, he responded, “Why not?"...

4. Moving the Goal Posts... in the discussion on creating jobs, Trump turned what should have been a discussion of his plan to an attack on Clinton’s “thirty years of experience” in politics...

5. Bait and Switch... “I will release my tax returns when Hillary releases her deleted e-mails” – to which the audience, astoundingly, cheered...

6. Projecting... Despite his appalling record on his treatment of women, whenever he’s confronted about it, he switches the conversation to talk about how “not nice” women are to him...

7. Generalizing and Exaggerating... Clinton has over ten times as many policy pages on her website than Trump, and her speeches are filled with details about her proposals and plans. Trump, by contrast, prefers grandiose generalization and hyperbole...

8. Yelling and Shouting Over... He interrupted her no less than fifty times. He repeatedly refused to stop talking when the moderator told him there was no more time, he interrupted Clinton even when she was given only a small amount of time to answer, and he refused to ever let Clinton have the last word...

9. Fear-Mongering...

10. Body Shaming...

<more>

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Reply 10 Emotional Abuse Tactics That Trump Blatantly Used in the First Debate (Original post)
megahertz Sep 2016 OP
MFM008 Sep 2016 #1
calimary Sep 2016 #5
Maru Kitteh Sep 2016 #20
calimary Sep 2016 #30
electron_blue Sep 2016 #16
stuffmatters Sep 2016 #19
electron_blue Sep 2016 #28
anamandujano Sep 2016 #31
meow2u3 Sep 2016 #2
Madam45for2923 Sep 2016 #3
Bernardo de La Paz Sep 2016 #4
Saviolo Sep 2016 #6
stuffmatters Sep 2016 #12
Hekate Sep 2016 #7
sorefeet Sep 2016 #10
anamandujano Sep 2016 #32
Fast Walker 52 Sep 2016 #8
Fast Walker 52 Sep 2016 #9
world wide wally Sep 2016 #11
MrScorpio Sep 2016 #13
get the red out Sep 2016 #14
Patiod Sep 2016 #29
stuffmatters Sep 2016 #15
royable Sep 2016 #17
WhiteTara Sep 2016 #26
griloco Sep 2016 #18
unblock Sep 2016 #21
stuffmatters Sep 2016 #22
freeplessinseattle Sep 2016 #23
Bozvotros Sep 2016 #24
alfie Sep 2016 #25
niyad Sep 2016 #27
nolabels Sep 2016 #33

Response to megahertz (Original post)

Wed Sep 28, 2016, 02:41 PM

1. and his little

"Secretary Clinton? Is that OK? I want you to be happy...that's very important"

that smarmy condescending.

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Response to MFM008 (Reply #1)

Wed Sep 28, 2016, 03:32 PM

5. Meh, that's just another lie.

He doesn't give a shit if she's happy or not. He'd rather she be unhappy.

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Response to calimary (Reply #5)

Wed Sep 28, 2016, 05:10 PM

20. No, it's a tactic abusers like him are accostomed to using

Say nice things to the target to manipulate. The idea is to throw her emotionally off-guard.

He's used to women who acquiesce to him because he controls them financially, emotionally or both.

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Response to Maru Kitteh (Reply #20)

Thu Sep 29, 2016, 02:04 PM

30. That makes total sense, as well.

Seems he's a seasoned veteran of such tactics.

MAN the payoffs he must have given to Ivana and Marla in those divorces. They sure have stayed nice 'n' quiet, n'est-ce pas?

Actually wouldn't surprise me if he offered bonuses AND accompanying threats before the campaign started, to remind them to keep their mouths shut.

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Response to MFM008 (Reply #1)

Wed Sep 28, 2016, 04:46 PM

16. Also, watch it again. That was his way of controlling her - forcing her to say 'yes.'

Abusers look for anyway to show they are controlling the strings.

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Response to electron_blue (Reply #16)

Wed Sep 28, 2016, 05:00 PM

19. Hoping to reduce her from Sec'y of State to His Secy. Glad she called him only Donald

I love the fact that she just only referred to him as Donald. Didn't ask, because she didn't need his permission or approval for anything. And calling him Donald throughout,not even Mr Trump, that first nameness used from employer to employee became kind of a belittlement, clearly prickled him, tipped his repugnant power play apple cart way over.

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Response to stuffmatters (Reply #19)

Thu Sep 29, 2016, 08:57 AM

28. ah, thanks, I didn't pick up on that, but you're right!

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Response to MFM008 (Reply #1)

Thu Sep 29, 2016, 03:22 PM

31. That really annoyed me, after calling for his morons with guns to take care of her.

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Response to megahertz (Original post)

Wed Sep 28, 2016, 02:51 PM

2. K&R for visibility

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Response to megahertz (Original post)

Wed Sep 28, 2016, 02:55 PM

3. I agree with this article! These are the reasons why Donald is not a decent human being

 

I recommend reading the article. There's more explanations for each item.

All of the above means the toxic person can never be held accountable. Ugh!

Cannot wait for the day he exits left or right or wherever the f*ck he's going.

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Response to megahertz (Original post)

Wed Sep 28, 2016, 02:59 PM

4. False equivalency. History & precedent releasing tax forms. No history/precedent releasing emails.nt

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Response to megahertz (Original post)

Wed Sep 28, 2016, 03:44 PM

6. Also the biggest gaslighting in history

He's trying to gaslight the whole country. Thankfully, there is the internet with many pieces of proof of what he has said and now denies.

If you're not familiar with the term:

Gaslighting or gas-lighting is a form of psychological abuse in which a victim is manipulated into doubting their own memory, perception, and sanity. Instances may range from the denial by an abuser that previous abusive incidents ever occurred up to the staging of bizarre events by the abuser with the intention of disorienting the victim.


From Wikipedia: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gaslighting

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Response to Saviolo (Reply #6)

Wed Sep 28, 2016, 04:18 PM

12. Yep, gaslighting where the only valid perceptions/opinions/facts (i.e.reality) belong to the abuser

Your great point too that Trump didn't just do it to Hillary, he's doing it to the entire country all along. Fox News has been doing it
for two decades now. Of course, serial abuser, Ailes is the architect for both Fox and Trump

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Response to megahertz (Original post)

Wed Sep 28, 2016, 03:48 PM

7. I expected no less from The Donald. I hope Melania is counting the days...

The rest of us sure are.

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Response to Hekate (Reply #7)

Wed Sep 28, 2016, 03:54 PM

10. I have already said Hekate

as soon as he loses and this fiasco is over, she will divorce him.

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Response to sorefeet (Reply #10)

Thu Sep 29, 2016, 03:29 PM

32. No doubt he has a mistress waiting in the wings. Melania is over 40, most likely too old for the way

he rolls. She has also been with him a long time. That's tough for someone with his attention span.

She is probably praying for a divorce, the sooner the better so Trump can't poison her child's mind and buy him off.

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Response to megahertz (Original post)

Wed Sep 28, 2016, 03:49 PM

8. It was pretty annoying to have him blame her for all the actions of every single politician

 

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Response to megahertz (Original post)

Wed Sep 28, 2016, 03:50 PM

9. probably the most outrageous thing was blaming her for birtherism

 

REALLY disgusting.

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Response to megahertz (Original post)

Wed Sep 28, 2016, 04:03 PM

11. For Hillary to say about point #5

Taxes vs Email:

I released over 30,000 pages of email. Now you release at least half of your tax form

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Response to megahertz (Original post)

Wed Sep 28, 2016, 04:22 PM

13. All of the above

Trump has been identified as an abuser many times before. It's impossible to miss everything he did that night. Even people who would vote for him only because they hate Hillary more could recognize it. It's just that they'd justify the abuse because they hate her and would think that she deserves it.

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Response to megahertz (Original post)

Wed Sep 28, 2016, 04:27 PM

14. I didn't watch

I hadn't put into words why I knew I couldn't, but this is it.

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Response to get the red out (Reply #14)

Thu Sep 29, 2016, 12:31 PM

29. I consider myself a pretty tough person

I've done a lot of things I was afraid to do: cold calling, public speaking, open water diving. I did hospice work, and interview people with terminal diseases for work.

And I thought that there was nothing in the world that could "trigger" me in any way.

But I had to get up and leave the room during the debate, because his behavior physically upset me so badly. Looking at it objectively once I settle down, he behaves a lot like my late dad - who was not a bad guy when he was calm, but a nightmarish angry bully when he got himself riled up. Condescending, interrupting, dismissive, mean, moved the goalposts all the time, this whole list. This has never happened before with any other male politician or public figure.

On the other hand, I've noticed that some of my younger male colleagues seem "triggered" by the mere fact that Hillary is a woman in an authority position - one actually said she "yelled" through the whole debate (?????). Definite mommy issues.

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Response to megahertz (Original post)

Wed Sep 28, 2016, 04:30 PM

15. Trump blames Hillary for Bill's infidelity. Abuser becomes the victim

In toxic masculinity (i.e. abuser world), infidelity is always the fault of the sexually and emotionally "inadequate" female. From gaining weight to getting a job even spending too much time with the kids, those are the most frequent "justifications" by abusers' for their jealous, narcissistic, macho actions.

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Response to megahertz (Original post)

Wed Sep 28, 2016, 04:46 PM

17. I think I noticed all of these ten points when watching.

At times while watching the "debate," I was curled up in my chair with my arm over my head, half turned away from the television, and only looking at Clinton's side of the screen when there was split screen. Sniveling Drumpf was very, very hard to take. I have made a point since he entered the campaign to watch as little of him as I can, and so this was probably the most continuous exposure to him that I'd ever had. For a day afterward, I felt unsettled, like I'd witnessed highly disturbed and abnormal behavior that left my mind unsuccessfully trying to make sense of it. This man is seriously deranged.

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Response to royable (Reply #17)

Wed Sep 28, 2016, 09:57 PM

26. I had to listen from the next room.

I couldn't be in the same room with him on the screen. So I missed a couple of things...like the Clinton Shimmy.

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Response to megahertz (Original post)

Wed Sep 28, 2016, 04:48 PM

18. I can't post Boy Trump often enough...

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Response to megahertz (Original post)

Wed Sep 28, 2016, 05:23 PM

21. "crazy-making"

some feminist psychologists that i've know have used this term to describe some of the above -- the things that are so crazy they make you question your own sanity.

as in, trump saying the he's got the best temperament and hillary's out of control and has a temperament problem.

it's not merely a lie, it's a lie so incredibly yuuggge that it makes you say "am i crazy or did i just hear mr. walking, talking, out-of-control temperament problem say *she's* the one with the temperament problem??"

it's the feeling that you're forced to have a conversation with someone who doesn't accept the same basic principles of decency, etc., and you have to explain and defend basic assumptions, like if you see something, it actually exists, etc., because he's questioning such obvious things.

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Response to megahertz (Original post)

Wed Sep 28, 2016, 05:25 PM

22. How about "I'm above or can skate the rules/law" like not releasing his taxes or even paying taxes.

Supported by Trump/abuser "anyways": eg. Trust me, there's nothing there anyway because I say so" and "no one will believe you over me anyway."

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Response to megahertz (Original post)

Wed Sep 28, 2016, 06:02 PM

23. He really reminded me of my dad on a tear

More than a little triggering watching him treat her like that, hard not to leave the room as I would have as a kid.

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Response to megahertz (Original post)

Wed Sep 28, 2016, 06:12 PM

24. DARVO

Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim Offender: https://en.m.wiktionary.org/wiki/DARVO

Nobody does it better (worse). Trump constantly says outrageous, hostile, dishonest things , makes nasty insinuations or accusation about others but as soon as his target reacts to his covert or overt message, he denies he did anything to deserve it, then goes on the attack as if he is the person who is being victimized

If you've ever been DARVO'd by a pro you know it is a major mind fuck. It almost always involves a complete fabricated retelling of what just happened and how completely wrong and evil minded it was for you to take it the "wrong way." Masters of this skill constantly make comments and critiques of someone in ways that they can later spin as harmless, insignificant or something noone should take offense at. When you do they can pour it on. And if you then get really angry or upset they use that as proof of your hostility or to dismiss you as crazy. He did it constantly in the Republican debates and paralyzed his opposition most of the time. He is a reptile.

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Response to megahertz (Original post)

Wed Sep 28, 2016, 07:40 PM

25. Interesting quote from the article

“Among people who are not Trump supporters, we’re hearing a higher level of concern and dismay than I’ve probably heard in any election cycle, in 25 years of clinical work.”.

I thought the only folks concerned and dismayed over this election were Trumpsters who came here as concern trolls.

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Response to megahertz (Original post)

Wed Sep 28, 2016, 10:41 PM

27. thank you for posting this

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Response to megahertz (Original post)

Thu Sep 29, 2016, 03:59 PM

33. I don't know what other show people are watching, but the whole thing seems highly predictable

She is going to get another 180 minutes. By the third debate (if he doesn't wimp out) she will have him talking to himself.

Even the best coached man would have a hard time in a long term match in a verbal linguistics contest. Trump will have two empty buckets to pick from at the end. Without reasonable issues and only guttural insults to hurl, it should be going well by the third debate

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