The older I get the more I don't enjoy being around people very much.

[Peregrine Took]

I'm married so I have my spouse who is my best buddy but no close friends anymore and I feel bad that I don't have close friends.

I guess I'm too outspoken but I seem to say or do something that alienates people sooner or later which I never intend to do as I am, actually, a nice person and always denigrate myself so others feel better about themselves.

Maybe I come across as too needy, emotionally.

Take Christmas. My niece gave us a "half" invitation to go to her house and then never followed up. What to do as presents much be purchased, etc." Every day I check my email to see if there is a note from her.
But maybe its just as well if we don't go as I get so nervous when I go there lest I say something to offend them (they are VERY touchy!) that I wind up drinking too much and then saying something I regret all the way home and days after in case I offended them.

There is so much pressure to "be with friends and family" over the holidays it makes me sad that I'm not like the people in the ads, laughing and being with people who love me and that I love but it never works out that way and I just wind up kicking myself.

In the long run I find that I'm better off without a lot of interaction with other people but I feel bad about that as I feel its best to be a member of a close social group.

Anyone else share any of my feelings?

[teddy51]

1. Are you really me? You sound exactlly like me. My wife and I have one

couple as friends, (she has some others, but I don't) and like it that way. I guess I have always been
that way though. I am 63, so not sure if it has to do with age but have the same feelings.

[Peregrine Took]

13. Right age range. Are we just harder to get along with in this decade?

Thanks for the kind response.

I had a lot of doubts about posting here at all (I hope these don't go to the whole board and just stay here!!) I was afraid I would get flamed

My main problem is I keep extending my friendship offer to everyone and that makes me way too vulnerable to being hurt. For example, recently I met a woman who is the wife of an ex co-worker and we really hit if off. I sent her an email the next morning and she emailed back and then I emailed back and that was it. It seems that I'm always the last one to know that - that's it! Communication has ended. Cease and desist!

My mom always said "don't run after people." I have to learn to be more independent. Its very hard to make friends when you are older as people are like "I already have all the friends I need!"

Another thing I do is reveal too much of myself in the beginning to move things along faster. I'm just that kind of a person - like an unpeeled onion!!

I wish I could be more like my husband who is very happy in his own skin as the saying goes.

[NRaleighLiberal]

2. Yes! Gotta run right now, but will be back to edit this with more later...

don't know if it is age, life circumstance, whatever - but my direct contact circle has shrunk considerably over the past few years (I am 55).

[LiberalAndProud]

3. Yes.

I have never been able to discern what exactly it is about me that puts people off, but it's clear that there is something. It's almost a relief when I recognize something I have said or done that is regrettable. Most times I have no clue.

I think that, ultimately, people just understand that I am more comfortable by myself. My family, though, does put up with me and I with them. That's a good thing.

[Peregrine Took]

14. Well said.

I've come to that same conclusion - I just have to put it into practice! I'm tired of getting hurt all the time but I know I'm "too" sensitive - that's just the way I am.

[StarlightGold]

36. I'm the same way...

On one hand, I try to be a nice, friendly person, but I've never been able to keep up a friendship for more than a couple of years. They all, no matter how close, somehow fizzle out after a couple of years, tops. I'm uber-sensitive and have come to the conclusion that relationships have not been worth the pain. Perhaps that's a reason right there; people sense that about me. But, I can't change...I've always thought to myself "even Hitler had friends, so how bad can I be?"

When I do get together with people, I do enjoy it, but I also can't wait to be by myself again. I love my own company and am quite content doing my own thing. Maybe that's why second invites are rarely extended my way....

[Sarah Ibarruri]

4. I'm grateful to time. As time passed, I became more outspoken (thank goodness)

Nowadays, I'm more upfront about things. I get stage fright when I'm going into a room of people I don't know, or even a room with many people (unless I know them quite well). I think most people feel a little uncomfortable around groups. Some people don't, but most feel at least a tiny bit of shyness. You are not alone.

With regard to saying weird or odd things, that's often me. I frequently say things that make people raise their eyebrows, but because I laugh a lot, I think it passes and people tolerate me and end up laughing as well. lol

If I were in a situation in which I'd received a 'half invitation,' and wanted to attend, I'd call up and say this:

"How are you?! Boy, this weather is something else! I don't even know what to wear anymore! By the way, I wanted to thank you for having invited us to Christmas that time we talked. SO, what time would you like us to be there on Christmas, and should we cook something and bring it?"

[Peregrine Took]

15. Laughter is a great ice breaker and it soothes ever conversational "oddities."

I'm a rather grim type I'm afraid and, as I have a dry sense of humor, I rarely smile or laugh.
- unless I'm watching "King of Queens" - Leah Ramini breaks me up. I think she is as funny or funnier than even Lucille Ball, the queen of tv comediennes.

Many people are able to use their gift of ready laughter as a tool when they are speaking in groups - or to individuals - as it softens everything you say.

I am so outspoken (for a shy person) on certain subjects like anything to do with animals, or anyone who causes suffering to others that I shock myself. This has come on later in life and it doesn't always stand me in good stead, believe me, especially with my family who are all traditional rethugs to a man - even the women!

[Sarah Ibarruri]

25. Practicing laughter might not be a bad idea!!! Particularly if you love Leah Ramini :)

Leah Ramini is my FAVORITE sitcom star. She's so funny. Her timing is perfection!

I once read that there's a thing called Laughter Yoga or something. Maybe there's one where you live? I thought of joining that myself. There's absolutely nothing wrong with making a complete ass of oneself now and then, you know. In fact, people love that.

As for being outspoken, me too. It gets me in big trouble sometimes! And I, also, am super sensitive with regard to the hurting of animals and anyone who is weak, ill, disabled, old or helpless. I have noticed, however, that one has to 'temper' that serious intensity with laughter or smiles. If one doesn't, one comes across as deadly serious or angry, and that can backfire.

My heart goes out to you having to deal with Repugnicans in your family. I was lucky. I'm in a family of all-libs, except for 1 Repugnican whom I torture as much and as often as I can. But when we get together we're okay. My family has a love affair with food, so that comes before everything else lol Want to know what's really odd? My Republican family member is the one that is deadly serious. He's so serious it almost makes me want to laugh.

[patrice]

5. I have been an outsider most of my life. Have changed my expectations of "... a close social group."

I know tons of people.

I really do like and enjoy them, for the most part. I do get into trouble with some people, unintentionally for the most part, kind of just as a side effect of who/what I am as a person.

I feel that need, but I don't make it primary in my perception.

I have very very few people of whom I can say that we are close. We can say this because we are very honest with one another.

People are who they are.

This is okay with me.

I really do dig the freedom and inspiration I find in a broader, less clique-dependent, social perspective. I value those things more than the pain of being a little lonely most of the time.

[Peregrine Took]

16. Maybe you are younger....when I was young I had lots of acquaintances...

Well, maybe not "lots" but many - primarily from work.

Just seems as I get older we have gone our separate ways and when we do see each other there is nothing to talk about! Yikes - is that awkward - to keep going back to the well of "what we used to do."

Its a shame how even the closest friends drift apart but it happens due to changing life circumstances.

One time I looked up a girl who was my best buddy in grammar school and high school. I expected her to have the same personality she had many years before but she was totally different.
She had been an extrovert- a "character" who was known for doing zany things. For example she was always stealing the keys for her dad's plumbing truck and trying to take it for a spin. All she would do would be to flood the engine for which she would get in trouble but next weekend we would all pile in and - flood it again.
One time we almost drowned together in a leaky rowboat and then had to flee in terror from my older brother who was sent to find us - we had gone out on the lake when we were warned not to and our parents were ready to kill us!!

Anyway, we got together with our husbands a few years ago and she was so different! Very cool and sophisticated, low key, she acted like she hardly remembered me! What a shock and so humbling as I thought we were going to have this fantastic reunion!! I'm so naive!!!

[nadine_mn]

6. Sounds a lot like my husband and me

I come across in groups as very friendly so I have initial social skills, but the maintaining of friends is too much work for me. I have my husband who is my best friend and he never had many friends growing up so the 2 of us just have our dogs and thats it.

I feel pressure as female to have a BFF to go shopping with/get manis/have coffee - you know all the stuff you see in movies and on tv. Not that I want to do any of those things, but I feel like should have or be a best friend.

I think part of being raised as an only child of a single parent was that I had a lot of alone time, so I am comfortable being by myself. I get antsy when I am around people too long.

[Peregrine Took]

17. I know what you mean about that BFF to do things with...

I am a loner when it comes to shopping, going to the movies, going to church, etc. People who see me more than once probably think I'm single or a widow!

I'm jealous when I go to a movie (Friday is my movie day when DH is volunteering) and I see middle aged "girls" going in together.

[Purveyor]

7. Leave me with my dogs and I'm fine, even on a bad day. People, not so much. eom

[Peregrine Took]

18. I guess I would be considered a terrible person but I do prefer animals to people ++++

They are so sweet - I just love them all.

We have a family of snails on our patio that we watch over and when we move we are going to bring them with us as the new people might spray them or try to harm them.

I saw someone smashed on on the walkway in our complex and it ruined my day. Poor little dude just wanted to live like the rest of us.

[nadine_mn]

20. My worst day with my dogs (ie total mayhem/destruction of sofa) is better than my best day w/ humans

When I say worst day I am not talking about when they have passed on or had a medical crisis, I mean those days when you swear they are laughing at you as they drag your underwear around the house or chew up art supplies or try to eat a sofa or get muddy paws all over your white shirt, or you step in vomit from them regurgitating said art supplies.

I have no time for people who see animals as "just" animals... those are people I see as "just" jerks.

[CrispyQ]

28. I worked for a woman who saw them as just animals.

She & I always got along, but she was very harsh. She had extremely high standards & didn't cut slack for anything or anyone.

Her husband had a dog. Over the years they were married, he had three different dogs. When dog three died, he got dog four & something happened. That dog took to my boss & wormed her way into my boss' heart & no kidding, in less than a year she was a much nicer person.

I'll never forget the day we were in downtown Denver at a traffic light. It was hot. There was a homeless man & his dog on the corner with a sign. She popped the trunk of the car, got out, pulled out a bag of dog food & several bottles of water & gave it to them. "For you & your friend," she said. Three years earlier, she would never have done that, I'm certain.

[RKP5637]

34. Sounds like me with my cat! My cat and I are best of friends.

[okieinpain]

8. ditto. n/t.

[Speck Tater]

9. I'm the same way.

Divorced 30 years ago, kids all grown up, grandkids in college. I live alone, way out in the country. I visit my mom every week to help her out with things around the house (she's in her 90's but still living independently in her own house) Once a month or so I go out to dinner with my sister and her hubby. Twice a year I get together with kids and grandkids that live out of town. (700 miles for one group and 1200 miles for the other) That's plenty of face time for me. I really can't be bothered with all the hoopla that surrounds the holidays.

For socializing I take classes at the local community college; music theory, conversational Spanish, and other topics that strike my fancy. I have a lot of online friends through various topical forums (other than DU). I don't have a girlfriend and I absolutely intend to keep it that way. I value my free time too much to waste it chasing some childish romantic fantasy.

I'm an atheist but I've been known to go to church now and then just for the socializing. The trick is finding a church that's not obnoxious. (Unity, and Unitarian are pretty non-obnoxious)

[Peregrine Took]

19. I guess I'm needier than you are but I'm trying to change!

I have to learn to like myself more. I just feel I'm missing something - not having close friends.

[Speck Tater]

24. Maybe I forogt to mention this, but I DO have a teddy bear. :) nt

[shanti]

26. You're lucky to live fairly close to your sibs/mother

at least you get that regular face time. my family is about 400 miles away, and i really miss my sister.

[russspeakeasy]

10. Thanks.

[monmouth]

11. I don't mind humanity all that much, it's people that get on my last nerve. I have little

tolerance for a lot of stuff and can absolutely identify with how you are feeling. You owe no one explanations if you're not a "joiner."

[Peregrine Took]

22. Obviously I'm of two minds. I'm a loner all my life but I wish I had a few close friends.

It just doesn't work out for me so I better get used to it and stop trying to force things.

I have to be more like my older brother who is totally by himself (he doesn't like me either!) but I have to admire that he doesn't need anyone.

He's retired, is very intelligent, quite a reader and library goer. He spends all holidays by himself by his choice and says he's very content and I believe him.
He gave up booze many years ago and, aside from some health problems, he is captain of his own ship and proud of it. He rolled up the welcome mat years ago as he, like me, is super sensitive and was easily hurt and disappointed by people . Now he goes his own way. Even when he had a serious operation he forbade any family members to visit him (said he would curse us if we did) and walked home afterwards by himself, refusing a ride. Sounds nutty but he is oddly content.

[eilen]

12. I understand.

I am kind of like that too. My husband and I have been together over 20 years, I am used to him, him, me. I have a couple of girlfriends. The ones that stick around know better than to expect a lot of girlfriend type activity-- we get together when we get together, talk, laugh a lot and it is like we saw each other yesterday even if it's been 5 months. The needy ones get pissed off or offended at my manner and stomp off for more assiduously enabling caretakers. I have one that deliberately pisses me off every couple of months via email or text. Honestly, if she needs a break, she should just say so and stop giving me cause to think she is a nutbag.

My husband says it's because I run hot and cold. I think that once people get to know who I am, they would be fine with it. I just happen to need lots of time to myself and I like my own company. People tap me out after a while.

I work in a highly social environment (healthcare) so get social stimulation that way. I don't like shopping with other people, getting my hair or nails done with other people. I am not the person who brings a hostess gift with every visit, nor am I a cook and feed the world person either. Food is over rated. I like conversation. I don't like having people at my house because I am a horrible housekeeper and feel self conscious about it. You know I trust you when I tell you go ahead and drop by anytime. I don't like people going through a big fuss at their house when I come over. We are adults, playdates are for children. I'd rather meet at a restaurant than eat at someone's house. I am find with potlucking at a third location. I don't like going to parties or reunions. I am sick and tired of visiting family members/inlaws on holidays.

[nadine_mn]

21. I can echo much of what you say - esp hot/cold

when I have worked, I have worked with lots of people in very social environs - it wears me out.

I am so glad we don't have kids (we have furry kids) otherwise we would be expected to trot them out to family and play dates and crap.

[Peregrine Took]

23. Restaurants are a much easier get together, I agree.

You don't stay together very long and its easy to leave if the conversation has too many lulls in it - "gotta go walk the dog!" Bye!!

[FLyellowdog]

30. We must have been separated at birth!

I have felt so guilty for years that I don't like to socialize the way everyone else seems to. I've tried to rationalize my behavior by telling people I suffer from anxiety (which I do) and that this is the reason I don't appear to be all lovey dovey with everyone I meet.

I've recently reconnected with a few of my high school girlfriends and we do have a great time when we're together, but a little of that goes a long way. We have a few get togethers and take a few trips but I'm free to say no if I want to.

My husband of 44 years took a new job in another town last year and after the initial shock wore off that he didn't want to live with me anymore, I kinda have grown to enjoy my alone time! Strange.

Of course, lonesome times come and go depending on how healthy I feel at the time but generally speaking, I'm fine with living by myself. I do what I want when I want and how I want. I make my own rules and no longer want (or need) the responsibility of taking care of anyone but myself.

This forum is going to be a great place....we can come and go when we please...and everyone sounds so intelligent!!!! I do not suffer ignorance well.

[iris27]

27. Well, then I am in trouble, because you sound just like me and I am 29.

[Scottybeamer70]

29. Wow.......others just like me......:)

I never knew there were so many other people who feel the way I do.
I have no family left, and absolutely no friends. I now live in a senior
complex, and everyone pretty much does their own thing, which is fine with me.
I enjoy the internet, and I enjoy cooking. Have never been much for watching
television, but do listen to various kinds of music. I did have a partner at one
time, but that ended many years ago. I no longer drink, so don't go to bars.
Without my own transportation, I rely on the community bus when I need to
go shopping for groceries. I do like to browse in second hand stores, as long
as they leave me alone to browse.... .
Guess I'm just happy in my own little world. I just dont' do crowds well.
It's nice to know there are others in the same situations.
Thanks for your post!!

[Zoigal]

31. WOW...didn't realize there were so many of us...

Just give me my dogs, a good read, and my i pad and life is good.
Fortunately my husband is pretty much the same way.....z

[CrispyQ]

32. We don't do holidays.

Well, except for Halloween. I have been known to go a little crazy with Halloween decorations & costumes.

I only did Christmas for Mom. Once she died, I said no more. My sis has had issues with this, but her house is so out of control on Christmas, it's insane. She invites a ton of people over & I only know a few. She & my BIL are my only family there. Everyone else are friends of hers. She has 5 out of control dogs that are allowed free rein of the house. By the end of the day I feel like I've been in battle. There is never a chance to have a nice conversation with anyone because it is total chaos.

I've suggested that just the four of us get together for a meal at a restaurant but she won't do that. So we haven't seen each other in 3 years & we live a little over 50 miles from each other. Anytime I invite her for lunch or both of them to go out to dinner, she doesn't respond. Oh well.

I've spent the last three Christmases at home, either with the husband, or alone if he's working. Oh, can't forget the dog.

[RKP5637]

33. I think sometimes one reaches the point where they get tired of the BS in life. It seems

anymore, at least to me, there is more and more BS to put up with ... I'm also fed up with the lying, cheating and deception that goes on so much anymore ... not that it never existed, but it seems more prevalent today.

I was an outgoing person, but anymore I just stick with a few close friends, who unfortunately don't live near me. Anyway, I really understand your post.

One thing I wrestle with is it me getting older or is society changing that makes me feel this way ... I always conclude it's the latter than the former.

[Still Blue in PDX]

35. Wow, you all sound like me.

Except I don't really like my husband all that much. Over the years I've slowly discovered that he and I don't have anything in common except both being parents of the same kids.

Television, movies, politics, religion -- all pretty much opposites. He's into sports, whereas I'm bookish. Maybe opposites attract initially, but after 40 years together (we started dating when I was 17), it's not so great.

My dog is my best friend now that my kids have outgrown me.

[LoveMeLoveYou]

37. I'm 26...

Even at my age, I desire to be alone most of the time and only got moreso in recent years. You're not alone! lol (pun intended)

[MadrasT]

38. I have never liked people very much.

As I get older, what has changed is that I no longer think there is something "wrong" with that, and I don't force myself to "be social" anymore if I just don't feel like it. As a result, my social circle is smaller and I am good with that.

Why keep doing something that doesn't please me?

[shcrane71]

39. I'm much younger, but I feel much the same.

One thing I've discovered is that I over-exaggerate how much I actually offend others. I only know this because my better half constantly tells me that no one noticed my perceived faux. When I go out, I find that I'm eager to get home even if I am enjoying the company of others.

If the invitation from someone seems to be half-hearted, I've taken to giving a lukewarm RSVP. Again, the better half has said that I need to be more enthusiastic. meh...

[stuntcat]

40. My experiences with people horrify and scar me.. people where I live anyway.

My mom and aunts and best friend all live far away, so we use internet and phone all the time. But almost every time I do things with the people in this town I'm left remembering horrible things they've said. They're just hard people. Or disappointing.

My own mother-in-law told me at dinner last month that I "should have died", meaning when I was close to death once and then in a long coma. Great example for Humanity And she only lives 3 miles away. The women I volunteer with (when I'm brave enough to go) are even worse than her but at least they don't take their crappiness out on me, not when I'm there anyway.
I almost made friends with a neighbor, she seemed pretty neat. Then she brought a bible over. I have a shelf full of holy books but since she knows I'm an atheist I guess she had to give it a try? Then she told me she would vote for Sarah Palin

Maybe if I got away from here I'd get a better impression? Maybe if I searched out the right crowd? But whatever, I have my cats and my squirrels.

[dixiegrrrrl]

41. I "divorced" my entire toxic family years ago...it's been great!

Some time ago there was a book, called..."toxic People"..????? something like that.
That book helped me realize it was NOT me, that there are a lot of toxic people around.
I choose to avoid them now. Some of them were family members. Blood is NOT thicker than water, but it can be sicker than water!

My favorite memories are when I was keeping my own company with me, it took me years to realize that is absolutely fine. What I was doing "wrong" was comparing myself to external images that say people are happy in groups.
Our society floods us with the idea people should be outgoing and gregarious and surrounded with lots of friends and family and all of that will make you happy, joyous and etc. (Watch those tv commercials with the sound off and see the messages they are really sending!)
Bullpucky,

I have 2 women friends going on 30 years now. Emails and cards are the way we keep in touch. Works fine.
Have a couple email pals in the last few years ( both of them on DU) who I like very much, we "chat" a lot,
send pics and jokes and stuff, have not met and probably won't. Works fine.

Nothing wrong with being an introvert, really.

[MadrasT]

42. I have "divorced" everyone on my life who is toxic.

Blood relatives included.

I have limited resources to deal with people.

Energy vampires get the ejection button.

I've been much happier since I started consciously choosing who to interact with (and when, and how much, and in what way).

[dixiegrrrrl]

43. Makes a hell of a difference, doesn't it?

'Course, easier to do if you have other options, difficult to avoid ALL difficult people if you are still forced to work around them.
I so enjoy being retired if only for that reason.

[MadrasT]

44. Unfortunately I am still a corporate wage slave.

Still have to deal with toxic co-workers.

But every little bit helps.

[stuntcat]

45. I'm so glad for the internet

I 'know' some great people online now who remind me that people don't all suck.

My MI-L doesn't think she's toxic, but the reason she's constantly so happy and laughing is because nothing phases her, she has a hard hard heart. Except when it comes to tiny infants (only the humans) and for them she goes absolutely crazy. The fact I won't make one is why she wishes I'd died. I just don't belong in her life.
For her I think it's more than just their cuteness too. I think it comes from the urge inside to make more and more people.. babies give her a RUSH.
I'm baffled at how she raised someone as gentle as my husband. It shows how unique people are, no matter what they came from.

Seems like almost every encounter with people lately just shows me there is nothing wrong with how I am, I'm just fine. And with the mass going crazier and more suicidal all the time, I'll just keep backing away

[Skittles]

46. what took you so long to figure it out?

people are WAY overrated and by the way: "BE YOURSELF" is the WORST advice you can give most people

[nhprogressive61995]

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[Trunk Monkey]

59. Two instances stand out clearly in my mind.

Two instances stand out clearly in my mind, the first occurred when I was 9 or 10 years old. I went to a school that made an effort to expose their students to the arts and one night they took us to a play at the Omaha Playhouse.

As we were leaving the theater a middle aged man on crutches stepped out of the crowd, grabbed my arm and asked me where I went to school. Not knowing what else to do I told him “Western Hills Elementary”. The guy leaned in close and looked me right in the eye and said “I didn’t know they let pigs go to Western Hills.” And shoved me away. To this day I have no idea what brought this on or why the guy picked me but it impacted me to the point that I remember it clearly 37 years later.

The second instance occurred while working for my current employer. Sorry but it’s kinda long.

I am a security guard ,that alone is enough to make me not want to deal with people but this particular instance I received an email from our scheduler directing me to report to a certain site to work 1130p to 0730a.

I showed up at 1120, walked in and met the guy I was relieving and the guy I was working with. Neither one had much to say and the guy I was relieving left. So, I do the beginning of the shift stuff w/ the other guy and went out to make my first rounds; mind you, not a word from either one that anything is out of the ordinary.

About 20 minutes into my rounds I get a call from the supervisor asking why I was late to work. I told him I had no idea what he was talking about, that my shift started at 1130 and I had arrived at 1120 and he informed me that the shift time was 1100P to 0700A. I go back to the office and show the supervisor the email from the scheduler specifying 1130 and he tells me he may still have to write me up. My “partner” witnesses the entire interaction saying nothing. After the supervisor leaves I make a point of apologizing to the “partner” and finish the shift.

The next night I show up 25 minutes early, to apologize to the guy I relieved and to give him the option of leaving early if he chooses to. I even made a point of telling him that I would have been highly offended if I were in his position especially if they guy that came in late didn’t even bother to apologize for it and that I want to make it clear to him that I hadn’t known I was late and that it hadn’t been my intent to inconvenience him.

The guy looked my right in the eye, told me all was forgiven, it was a simple mistake, coulda happened to anyone, water under the bridge and let’s not worry about it. He then spent the next 18 months holding a grudge over the incident and trying to torpedo me every chance he got. At one point he even wrote a 10 paragraph essay to the site supervisor to complain that I wasn’t a team player because I hadn’t swept the office the night before.

Working as a security guard I can assure you that I could relate dozens of other instances of people treating me like shit but those two stand out as watershed moments in my life.
I have no idea what happened to the first guy but the second guy was later terminated for wrecking a company vehicle. He did stick around long enough to see me get promoted to supervisor though.

I now work on a site where I am the only person there 90% of the time. I can go weeks on end without seeing another person at work except the guy I relieve and the guy that relieves me. After a year out here I’m not sure I could handle a job where I actually had to work w/ other people

[Trunk Monkey]

60. Interesting thread,

Interesting thread,

I’m 47 years old and I’ve felt like I was a half a beat off step with the rest of the world for most of my life. I’ve come to a point in my life where I don’t bother reaching out to people because I know that sooner or later I will say something that pisses them off or I will tell them something that I didn’t want the whole world to know and find out that they told the whole world.

The wife and I don’t go out much anymore not only because we can’t really afford it but also because I’m not comfortable out in public ( I call it “outside the wire” ).
We do hit the occasional family barbeque to hang out with the grand kids but that’s the extent of our social life.

I’m not a very trusting person by nature and I’ve been burned enough times that even at work I don’t discuss my personal life w/ my coworkers (much easier now that I don’t have co workers) and I try to give them as little personal information about me as I possibly can.

[goodword]

61. Those Are People in Ads

Ads aren't real life.

I'm also that "nice" person who tries to keep everyone happy. It's just better than the alternative of pissing people off.

As for the holidays, tell yourself it's just for a short time. Smile, limit your drinks, don't talk religion or politics, ask people how they're doing (people love to talk about themselves), and get through with as little stress as possible. Believe it or not, they may be as uncomfortable as you.