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Thu Feb 8, 2018, 11:40 PM

Hi

I am conflicted. Being alone for so long, I don't really know how to interact with people in the real world. I worked for the last ten years as an embalmer/funeral director and I didn't realise how secluded I've made myself. I was ok just being mom and raising my child, but now he's a teenager, I'm disabled, and alone. With Valentine's day next week I'm acutely aware of just how alone in this world I really am.

Sometimes I miss having friends, but I mostly keep to myself. My motto was "better to be lonely than hurt/miserable". Having just turned 38, I'm much too young to be so secluded.

I'm interacting on DU after a long while just to test the waters of social media.(Facebook is not for me) So, I guess I just wanted to say hi to fellow loners. And happy Valentine's day to us all.

61 replies, 3166 views

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Arrow 61 replies Author Time Post
Reply Hi (Original post)
backtoblue Feb 2018 OP
Permanut Feb 2018 #1
backtoblue Feb 2018 #3
BootinUp Feb 2018 #2
backtoblue Feb 2018 #10
calimary Feb 2018 #4
backtoblue Feb 2018 #7
AJT Feb 2018 #5
backtoblue Feb 2018 #11
CrispyQ Feb 2018 #21
backtoblue Feb 2018 #22
MLAA Feb 2018 #55
backtoblue Feb 2018 #61
TwistOneUp Feb 2018 #6
backtoblue Feb 2018 #13
Ohiogal Feb 2018 #8
backtoblue Feb 2018 #9
Ferrets are Cool Feb 2018 #12
backtoblue Feb 2018 #14
irisblue Feb 2018 #15
backtoblue Feb 2018 #43
Binkie The Clown Feb 2018 #16
backtoblue Feb 2018 #34
More_Cowbell Feb 2018 #17
dchill Feb 2018 #18
backtoblue Feb 2018 #33
steve2470 Feb 2018 #19
backtoblue Feb 2018 #32
Fresh_Start Feb 2018 #20
backtoblue Feb 2018 #31
peacebuzzard Feb 2018 #23
backtoblue Feb 2018 #29
More_Cowbell Feb 2018 #24
backtoblue Feb 2018 #26
More_Cowbell Feb 2018 #44
shenmue Feb 2018 #25
backtoblue Feb 2018 #27
SummerSnow Feb 2018 #28
backtoblue Feb 2018 #38
wendyb-NC Feb 2018 #30
backtoblue Feb 2018 #37
roscoeroscoe Feb 2018 #35
backtoblue Feb 2018 #36
Joediss Feb 2018 #39
backtoblue Feb 2018 #40
MustLoveBeagles Feb 2018 #41
backtoblue Feb 2018 #45
Demoiselle Feb 2018 #42
backtoblue Feb 2018 #46
tiredtoo Feb 2018 #47
backtoblue Feb 2018 #48
3catwoman3 Feb 2018 #56
Stuart G Feb 2018 #49
backtoblue Feb 2018 #50
tblue37 Feb 2018 #51
no_hypocrisy Feb 2018 #52
backtoblue Feb 2018 #59
IrishEyes Feb 2018 #53
backtoblue Feb 2018 #60
pandr32 Feb 2018 #54
pandr32 Feb 2018 #57
backtoblue Feb 2018 #58

Response to backtoblue (Original post)

Thu Feb 8, 2018, 11:42 PM

1. Welcome back.

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Response to Permanut (Reply #1)

Thu Feb 8, 2018, 11:44 PM

3. Thank you Permanut

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Response to backtoblue (Original post)

Thu Feb 8, 2018, 11:42 PM

2. Great introductory post

I hope you find more ways to interact with people every day.

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Response to BootinUp (Reply #2)

Fri Feb 9, 2018, 12:06 AM

10. Thanks BootinUp

I hope you have a great weekend and a happy Valentine's day too!

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Response to backtoblue (Original post)

Thu Feb 8, 2018, 11:44 PM

4. Hi backtoblue!

Good that you're stepping up here! This is pretty safe, and there are so many kindred spirits here that perhaps you won't feel as isolated after awhile.

Glad you posted this! And Happy Valentine's Day back atcha!



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Response to calimary (Reply #4)

Thu Feb 8, 2018, 11:59 PM

7. Thanks!

I never really explored the different groups of DU3. I'm really glad that I am now. It's been five years since I posted. I need some training wheels!

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Response to backtoblue (Original post)

Thu Feb 8, 2018, 11:50 PM

5. After a while, if you feel comfortable, you can ask if anyone else on DU lives

in your area and would want to get together for a coffee or something.

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Response to AJT (Reply #5)

Fri Feb 9, 2018, 12:10 AM

11. Those odds are not in my favor

I live in one of the most rural counties in Arkansas. You actually made me smile to think about bringing a whole bus load of liberals to the local diner!

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Response to backtoblue (Reply #11)

Fri Feb 9, 2018, 03:39 PM

21. Check out Meetup.com

You pick topics you're interested in & it will show you groups that have similar interests as yours. I met two of my best hiking pals on Meetup - one in a women programmer's group & the other in a writer's group. I'll bet you can find some like minded folks on Meetup. Then, rent that bus!

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Response to CrispyQ (Reply #21)

Fri Feb 9, 2018, 07:18 PM

22. Cool idea

I'll look into it CrispyQ. Thanks!

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Response to backtoblue (Reply #11)

Sun Feb 11, 2018, 10:48 PM

55. If you all agreed to wear special liberal t-shirts, I would fly in for lunch with you.

Just to see us roll off the bus in our liberal finery would be such fun! 😉🙂🙂🙂. Welcome back dear backtoblue.

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Response to MLAA (Reply #55)

Mon Feb 12, 2018, 11:41 AM

61. Deal!

Though someone might have to save me andtake me away after!

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Response to backtoblue (Original post)

Thu Feb 8, 2018, 11:56 PM

6. Hey

I sent you a heart. No one should feel alone. You have DU friends!

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Response to TwistOneUp (Reply #6)

Fri Feb 9, 2018, 12:11 AM

13. You are very kind TwistOneUp

Thank you, not just for the heart, but because I can feel that you mean it.

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Response to backtoblue (Original post)

Fri Feb 9, 2018, 12:02 AM

8. Don't bother with Facebook insanity.

Stay here with us. We're a lot nicer. 😀

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Response to Ohiogal (Reply #8)

Fri Feb 9, 2018, 12:03 AM

9. Hi Ohiogal!

I think I'm moving in. Hope the other loners can make some room.

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Response to backtoblue (Original post)

Fri Feb 9, 2018, 12:11 AM

12. Hi Blue...

that is very brave of you to open up to us. Thank you for trusting us.
Happy early Valentines day to you.

I wish you good fortune in finding people to interact with in your life.

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Response to Ferrets are Cool (Reply #12)

Fri Feb 9, 2018, 12:14 AM

14. Thanks for the kind words Ferrets

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Response to backtoblue (Original post)

Fri Feb 9, 2018, 12:40 AM

15. Hello again! 👋

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Response to irisblue (Reply #15)

Sat Feb 10, 2018, 06:25 PM

43. thank ya irisblue!

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Response to backtoblue (Original post)

Fri Feb 9, 2018, 01:09 AM

16. I'm 72 and some of my happiest days are those days spent alone.

Don't get me wrong, I do socialize with family, friends, and neighbors. But I usually end up hanging out with other people only 2 or 3 times a month. Four times at most, like during the holidays when family always ends up on my doorstep.

"Loner" doesn't have to mean "lonely". Being alone is a state of being. Being lonely is a state of mind.

And as much as I do enjoy the company of others, as a counterpoint to the title of this post, some of my most miserable days where those days spend with others I didn't really want to be with.

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Response to Binkie The Clown (Reply #16)

Sat Feb 10, 2018, 02:28 PM

34. Binkie, I hear ya

My phone kept autocorrecting your name to bonnie. I gotta get this thing figured out lol
Your family being dropped on your doorstop made me laugh. Thank you

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Response to backtoblue (Original post)

Fri Feb 9, 2018, 02:13 AM

17. I've been living alone the last few years, for the first time in my life

Before that I was living with my family, then college roommates, then a long-term boyfriend. I cherish my time now, but I understand that my situation (I made the choice to leave and live alone) is not yours.

Thank you SO MUCH for speaking up and putting yourself out there/here. This is a community, the same as a "physical" one. I look forward to interacting with you.

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Response to backtoblue (Original post)

Fri Feb 9, 2018, 02:31 AM

18. DU is WAY more therapeutic than Facebook.

You're obviously welcome here!

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Response to dchill (Reply #18)

Sat Feb 10, 2018, 02:24 PM

33. Did Facebook for about a month 10 years ago

As soon as the ads started following me, I deleted it. Glad that I did!

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Response to backtoblue (Original post)

Fri Feb 9, 2018, 09:55 AM

19. welcome to the group :)

Post as much (or as little) as you wish. The group is not that active but we can always use fresh blood, so to speak.

Glad you're here.

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Response to steve2470 (Reply #19)

Sat Feb 10, 2018, 02:23 PM

32. Ty Steve!!

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Response to backtoblue (Original post)

Fri Feb 9, 2018, 10:05 AM

20. It is so easy to let yourself be isolated..you aren't alone in finding that you need more living

in your life.

I hope you find some great companionship soon

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Response to Fresh_Start (Reply #20)

Sat Feb 10, 2018, 02:22 PM

31. Thanks Fresh_Start

You name is refreshing! Lol. I'm already making some wonderful new friends here. It's a step toward coming back to life, so to speak

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Response to backtoblue (Original post)

Fri Feb 9, 2018, 09:18 PM

23. Hello backtoblue.,

So understandable. Just wanted to say hello.

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Response to peacebuzzard (Reply #23)

Sat Feb 10, 2018, 02:19 PM

29. Hi peacebuzzard

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Response to backtoblue (Original post)

Sat Feb 10, 2018, 01:59 PM

24. In a few minutes I'll be watching another state's high school swim championship

2000 miles away, but I can log on and watch my sister's husband coaching his high school swim team. My sister always looks for the camera and stands near it to wave. The things that technology lets us do!

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Response to More_Cowbell (Reply #24)

Sat Feb 10, 2018, 02:17 PM

26. You have a cool sister!


I'm thinking about getting Netflix. And spring is around the corner so I can tend to my horrid display of a garden lol. Chevy Chase is awesome. Love your poster name!

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Response to backtoblue (Reply #26)

Sun Feb 11, 2018, 04:26 AM

44. Ha, thanks!

And I *do* have a cool sister. She doesn't mind looking silly in front of strangers to wave maniacally across a swimming pool at the camera.

Her husband's team broke the top ten in their state for the first time ever. A good day was had by all.

Netflix is awesome.

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Response to backtoblue (Original post)

Sat Feb 10, 2018, 02:16 PM

25. Hello

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Response to shenmue (Reply #25)

Sat Feb 10, 2018, 02:19 PM

27. Hi shenmue!

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Response to backtoblue (Original post)

Sat Feb 10, 2018, 02:19 PM

28. Hi backtoblue, welcome to DU..

We have a good group of people here, we also have fun. Hope you enjoy

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Response to SummerSnow (Reply #28)

Sat Feb 10, 2018, 02:33 PM

38. Thank you summer snow!

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Response to backtoblue (Original post)

Sat Feb 10, 2018, 02:22 PM

30. Hi, Thanks for your post.

Happy Valentines day, to you, too.

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Response to wendyb-NC (Reply #30)

Sat Feb 10, 2018, 02:32 PM

37. Hi wendy!

I already don't feel so alone, thanks to folks like you!

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Response to backtoblue (Original post)

Sat Feb 10, 2018, 02:28 PM

35. Another hello back

Hope you enjoy a great welcome from the best people on the internet!

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Response to roscoeroscoe (Reply #35)

Sat Feb 10, 2018, 02:30 PM

36. Thank you Roscoe!

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Response to backtoblue (Original post)

Sat Feb 10, 2018, 02:46 PM

39. Me too

I disable veteran living in rural Texas... I am 66 yes old, I don't have many friends here, I know all these repugs that live around me , I was raised here. I do have a couple of friends that are liberals. I don't want to be around religious biogts and racists . THAT about all that down here. And I can take this time to become more in tune with myself.. that's just one way to look at it.. I thank carma , higher power or whatever that I have a couple of liberal friends

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Response to Joediss (Reply #39)

Sat Feb 10, 2018, 02:56 PM

40. Kindred spirit, you are Joediss

I've lived in a very red, rural area my whole life. I love living in the countryside, but I'm surrounded by hate in many, many forms. There are some good, kind folks that I've met throughout my career though. I don't much talk to anyone besides a few family members and neighbors. Thank you for your response, your kindness, and thank you even more for your service.

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Response to backtoblue (Original post)

Sat Feb 10, 2018, 03:38 PM

41. Welcome back

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Response to MustLoveBeagles (Reply #41)

Sun Feb 11, 2018, 03:31 PM

45. Thank you must love beagles!

Good to be back

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Response to backtoblue (Original post)

Sat Feb 10, 2018, 03:41 PM

42. Hello! I admire you for the work you've done. It must be tough sometimes. Please stay in touch ! (eom)

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Response to Demoiselle (Reply #42)

Sun Feb 11, 2018, 03:35 PM

46. Hey Demoiselle!

It's difficult to talk about my work experiences. I do know for certain though if I helped lessen just one person's pain then it was worth it.

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Response to backtoblue (Original post)

Sun Feb 11, 2018, 08:00 PM

47. Back at ya

I am about to spend my second valentines day alone. My wife of 56 years died in 2016.

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Response to tiredtoo (Reply #47)

Sun Feb 11, 2018, 09:21 PM

48. Hi tiredtoo

I cannot imagine the depth of your loss. Hope your Valentine's Day comes with peace, love, and companionship. I wish I could give you a real hug

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Response to tiredtoo (Reply #47)

Sun Feb 11, 2018, 11:40 PM

56. That must be so difficult. And not just on February 14th.

My parents were together for 63 years. My dad died in 2011. My mom often still speaks in the plural of "we."

Please take good care of yourself.

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Response to backtoblue (Original post)

Sun Feb 11, 2018, 09:59 PM

49. Hello, and you will find this is a nice place.

Most of us, are very nice and kind..I know you have met many of us already...

Good Luck and

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Response to Stuart G (Reply #49)

Sun Feb 11, 2018, 10:11 PM

50. I am going to sleep with a warm heart tonight

Since I've started posting again I'm finding hope in humanity. Everyone has been so welcoming and I'm absolutely amazed at the greetings ive received. Thank you Stuart! I feel like I'm coming out of my shell. The past two years have taken a toll on my spirit. It's nice to come back. DUers have made me laugh when I thought my humor had broken. I just hope I can contribute in some small way.

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Response to backtoblue (Original post)

Sun Feb 11, 2018, 10:22 PM

51. Welcome to DU. nt

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Response to backtoblue (Original post)

Sun Feb 11, 2018, 10:30 PM

52. Hello. Glad you're here.

We are friends without demands or expectations.

Read our stuff and/or jump right in with your own thoughts.

This may be the safest place on DU. Your sanctuary.

N_H

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Response to no_hypocrisy (Reply #52)

Mon Feb 12, 2018, 11:11 AM

59. Thanks no_hypocrisy!

I crawled into this little hole and found a whole lot of love! I think I'm moving in lol

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Response to backtoblue (Original post)

Sun Feb 11, 2018, 10:46 PM

53. Hello

I understand what you are saying. I'm quite shy myself.

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Response to IrishEyes (Reply #53)

Mon Feb 12, 2018, 11:17 AM

60. IrishEyes, thank you


Ive been seeing a whole bunch of awesome people here. It's nice to have friends, even if virtual. Cyber friends are great!

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Response to backtoblue (Original post)

Sun Feb 11, 2018, 10:47 PM

54. Hi back

Most of us have found ourselves feeling alone or underappreciated at some point. My best marriage (out of two) did not happen until about 40, so you never know what the future will bring.
We are all friends here. Sending you some love in the form of a heart, and in Aloha.

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Response to pandr32 (Reply #54)

Mon Feb 12, 2018, 01:28 AM

57. I was out with bad reception

...and tried to send the heart and couldn't, but did when I got home. I hope things look brighter with the Valentine love that is flowing around this place.

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Response to pandr32 (Reply #54)

Mon Feb 12, 2018, 11:09 AM

58. Thank you pandr32!

Thank you for the heart! I hope the love being shared grows into a movement! It's been a very very cold winter. We need each other. I just didn't realise how much!

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