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Tue May 21, 2019, 07:10 PM

Feeling melancholy today, it's the 3 year anniversary of my Mother's passing

On top of that my husband forgot yesterday our 30th wedding anniversary. He gets forgetful about stuff like that but this is a biggie to me.

And then today on my way home from work I saw the same car my parents used to drive. The same car I saw the day I went to my Mother’s house, held her hand and she passed on. It gave me the chills. I got home and called my sister to see if she was ok.

Here is my original post from May 21st 2016. I will never forget the kindness of my fellow DU members that day. I knew my Mother was not long for this world but when it happens it still pierces ones heart. I always think my Mother in some way held off dying the next day so she wouldn’t mar my wedding anniversary. But my husband did me a number yesterday. He apologized but I’m still pissed. He did mention to me weeks ago that our anniversary was coming up and then he missed the day. I’m between angry and sad. We’ve actually had a good marriage but he really f’ed up this time.


https://www.democraticunderground.com/10027847583

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Reply Feeling melancholy today, it's the 3 year anniversary of my Mother's passing (Original post)
kimbutgar May 21 OP
InAbLuEsTaTe May 21 #1
AJT May 21 #2
sprinkleeninow May 25 #9
snowybirdie May 21 #3
Karadeniz May 21 #4
IADEMO2004 May 21 #5
sprinkleeninow May 25 #12
DarthDem May 21 #6
MLAA May 21 #7
Farmer-Rick May 22 #8
sprinkleeninow May 25 #11
sprinkleeninow May 25 #10

Response to kimbutgar (Original post)

Tue May 21, 2019, 07:13 PM

1. So sorry to hear... sending you a virtual hug.



I understand the frustration with your husband, but, just remember, if he truly loves you, that's what matters most... and that we ALL need forgiveness!

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Response to kimbutgar (Original post)

Tue May 21, 2019, 07:18 PM

2. There are so many triggers when the anniversary comes around.

The only good is that you can make sure to remember the happy times. It is both the anniversary of a loss, and a day of remembering a life. I am coming up on the 1st year anniversary of my husbands passing in June.

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Response to AJT (Reply #2)

Sat May 25, 2019, 12:36 AM

9. AJT,



"Blessed be his memory eternal."

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Response to kimbutgar (Original post)

Tue May 21, 2019, 07:19 PM

3. So sorry

You'll always feel the grief, but remember the happy times.

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Response to kimbutgar (Original post)

Tue May 21, 2019, 07:31 PM

4. Do you believe in coincidences? I tend to not...I've had some amazing "coincidences" that

Just defy the odds. Just saying, your mother's car was on the road when you were and you noticed it....

Don't be mad at hubby. Let it go. I'm horrible myself about remembering some date, then forgetting it. One gets so caught up in all the small stuff. He let you know early that he remembered, so that counts for something! Happy anniversary!❤

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Response to kimbutgar (Original post)

Tue May 21, 2019, 07:43 PM

5. Melancholy was here last weekend. Married 40 yrs ago but she only saw 36 anniversaries.

Give that guy a hug.

Peace and love to both of you.

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Response to IADEMO2004 (Reply #5)

Sat May 25, 2019, 12:42 AM

12. From my heart to yours,

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Response to kimbutgar (Original post)

Tue May 21, 2019, 08:08 PM

6. Sorry to Hear

I'm sure he regrets forgetting it (or will), and it will all work out.

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Response to kimbutgar (Original post)

Tue May 21, 2019, 11:18 PM

7. 🌷💫💐💐💐💐✨✨✨✨✨

Sending kind thoughts as you miss your mother. The loss of your mom can be like a gut punch and the intensity can ebb and then sneak back and lay you low.

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Response to kimbutgar (Original post)

Wed May 22, 2019, 08:52 AM

8. I was right there with you on the 21st.

My mother passed away about 7 months ago. Her birthday would have been the 21st. She would have been 87 years old yesterday. But she was ready to go and now she is no longer in pain. She would say to me,"But Hon, I have to die of something." So, those things kept me from being too sad.

Just remember that forgetting an anniversary is not a big deal to some of us. Several years in a row, when my wife (of 37 years) was alive and well, we forgot our anniversary together. We both realized it 5 days later and celebrated then. We were so in tune with each other we even forgot the same things at the same time. I'm sure you and your husband have little quirks like that in your marriage. So, enjoy the relationship while you can. Everything in life is just too damn temporary.

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Response to Farmer-Rick (Reply #8)

Sat May 25, 2019, 12:39 AM

11. For you,

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Response to kimbutgar (Original post)

Sat May 25, 2019, 12:37 AM

10. Blessed be your Mom's memory.

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