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KMOD

(7,906 posts)
Sat Aug 13, 2016, 12:01 AM Aug 2016

I'm taking my two daughters and my son

to see my Dad's sister on Sunday.

It feels awkward, but it also feels right.

This is my children's last chance to meet my Dad's side of the family, and it's also my aunt's last chance to see her brother's grandchildren. She's terminal and doesn't have much time left.

I'm a big believer in family, a big believer in love, a big believer in hope and a big believer in forgiveness.

She also was the only member on my dad's side that I've ever felt comfortable with. I lived with her for a few weeks while my mom was hospitalized.

In spite of it all, it is hitting me emotionally. I don't know how to describe it. It's bittersweet. It's relief, yet pain. It's happiness yet sadness. It's forgiveness, yet sorrow.

5 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
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I'm taking my two daughters and my son (Original Post) KMOD Aug 2016 OP
This is a good thing you are doing. No Vested Interest Aug 2016 #1
It takes strength to do this and I believe you have what it takes. auntAgonist Aug 2016 #2
Thanks, NVI and aunt, KMOD Aug 2016 #3
If your aunt is failing more quickly than you or she expected, No Vested Interest Aug 2016 #4
Thank you. KMOD Aug 2016 #5

No Vested Interest

(5,165 posts)
1. This is a good thing you are doing.
Sat Aug 13, 2016, 03:22 AM
Aug 2016

It's good for you, for your aunt, and for your children. (I don't know how old the children are, but trust that you know this is good for them as well.

You'll put a smile on your face and say the right things and feel a great weight has been lifted when you have concluded the visit.
Best wishes to you and your family.

auntAgonist

(17,252 posts)
2. It takes strength to do this and I believe you have what it takes.
Sat Aug 13, 2016, 06:39 PM
Aug 2016

You will never regret reaching out this one last time. You're giving your daughters and son something to remember. Family is SO important.

I understand how it must be hitting you. You need this though. I sense you'd be really regretful if you didn't go.

My best wishes go with you KMOD. Take heart in knowing that you are doing a GOOD thing.


kesha

 

KMOD

(7,906 posts)
3. Thanks, NVI and aunt,
Sun Aug 14, 2016, 01:06 PM
Aug 2016

Sadly she wasn't feeling up to it today and had to cancel. I'm hoping we can arrange for another date soon, as my kids were really looking forward to it.

No Vested Interest

(5,165 posts)
4. If your aunt is failing more quickly than you or she expected,
Sun Aug 14, 2016, 06:45 PM
Aug 2016

it would be worthwhile for you to go on your own, with the thought of bringing the children at a time when/if she can cope with the thought of four people coming to her.

To an older, ill person, several people, some of whom are unknown to her, may be more than she feels she can handle.
You can judge that when you visit with her.
She may also have some things she wants to say or tell you that may be harder with a larger audience.

As a senior myself, though not in failing health, the energy and stamina required to prepare and host four persons would give me pause.
I know how much you want this for your children, and it is important if it is doable. Sometimes we have to accept the imperfect rather than miss the entire occasion.
Hoping for the best for you, auntie, and children.

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