Tomorrow is my daughter's thirty-sixth birthday.

[murielm99]

It will be the first that she celebrates without her husband since they started dating six years ago.

I don't know what plans she has. I will contact her, but it will be hard to wish her a happy birthday.

These milestones are hell.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

1. I suspect she'll be glad to hear from you.

Your support is invaluable. And by calling her, you're showing her that support.

[murielm99]

2. Thank you, Peggy.

We are all having such a hard time with this.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

3. I'm sure you are...

My heart goes out to you, your daughter and all involved. And words are just so inadequate.

I'm so so sorry.

[ohheckyeah]

4. I think calling or spending time

with her is invaluable. Dad's first birthday since he died was in August. Some of us took my Mom out to dinner. It helped and hurt.

[murielm99]

5. I am happy to report that she has a busy day going.

She is working today. She cried in the restroom, but pulled it together.

She baked a cake we call THE chocolate cake. She is bringing it to a student group meeting. She started advising the group this fall.

Over the weekend, she went to a concert that featured Punch, a bluegrass group we like. They are not your father's bluegrass. Their lead singer/mandolin player, Chris Thile, is replacing Garrison Keillor on "A Prairie Home Companion" when Keillor retires this fall. She was a bit sad, because the last time she went to hear the group, she was with Tom.

I remember being widowed at 27, forty years ago. I did everything I could to keep busy, too. I remarried, had children, and made a new life. I don't know what is in store for her. We will try to help her be strong and get on with life. I just wish she was closer to home.

[ohheckyeah]

6. I'm glad

she's keeping busy for now. I'm sorry for her loss.