Visiting family in Portland, OR this week...

[rexcat]

Brother has stage IV cancer of head/neck. Here to help my sister-in-law with his care this week. Brother received his last dose of chemotherapy and radiation this week.

I am the only atheists in the family. Was more or less informed this week that I am a bigot based on my lack of belief and outspokeness about religion. Go figure.

[ZombieHorde]

1. Sorry.

I am not very close with anyone in my family.

[Curmudgeoness]

2. I am sorry to hear about your brother.

This is a hard time for everyone, and many people will not stand up to the pressures, so don't take what they say too seriously.

With that said, it is also not a time to get into philosophical discussions about religion or lack of religion. Be sensitive to them. They need that crutch, and as stupid as you might see this need, it is real to them. Let them have it. At times of sickness and death, religious people need their religion more than any other time----just let it go.

[rexcat]

7. I fully understand...

but the "bigot" thing came out of nowhere. I did not respond to it. Better somethings left alone.

[edcantor]

3. I think you can manage to avoid the topic of religion

quite easily. If other people are talking about their religion, or beliefs, or saying prayers, that's the time to be silent. After all, they have probably heard all they ever WANT to hear from you on the subject of your lack of belief, so they don't want to listen to it any more.. That's what they are saying, I think.

You can probably honor their wish quite easily.

[rexcat]

6. I did not bring it up...

the sister-in-law did! Go figure.

[edcantor]

8. When my in-law siblings, (brothers, mostly) bring up

something wherein they know I'm not on their plain, I simply smile, and ignore most of the words coming out of their mouths, and I bite my tongue a little if I have to.

I hate it, but heck, it's the cost of having extended families.

I know it sucks, sorry you have to put up with that.

[rexcat]

9. For the most part I don't bring it up...

but all bets are off, except in this most recent case, if someone else brings it up. My family understands that and the topic of religion is usually not brought up.

I do have one sister who lives in Houston, TX and she is ultra-conservative, just converted catholic and works for the Harris County Sheriff's Department. I truly enjoy pushing her buttons. She is not a nice person and has been rather condescending to me since we were kids.

[cleanhippie]

4. That is really unfortunate. My deepest sympathy to you.

Maybe just focus on your Brother and his well-being and ignore the rest of the BS. Its just not that important.

[rexcat]

5. I try not to bring up the topic of religion...

but when someone else brings it up it is difficult. I have softened my wording when the topic comes up. I am not at all "militant" in my conversations.

My sister-in-law will be alone after I leave this Sunday. The good thing is he has completed all of his chemo and radiation but there are some issues secondary to the radiation that could be life altering for him. My brother is not the most compliant person I know but his wife is an RN. I have worked in pharmaceutical research in oncology for the past 17+ years and my knowledge base is good. I told her that I could come back out if she starts to go any crazier. I just took early retirement. Hell of a way to start the retirement thing.

Thanks for everyones concern.

[laconicsax]

10. Wow, that sucks.

Sorry for what you're going through.

Your family must HATE living in PDX.

[rexcat]

11. My parents were originally from Washington state...

my brother likes Portland but the sister-in-law hates it. She is ready to go back to Texass.

My preference is the Northwest but my wife prefers the Southeast. She grew up in Florida. We are stuck in SW Ohio for awhile. Damn!