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[Freelancer]

This message was self-deleted by its author (Freelancer) on Tue Jul 23, 2019, 09:27 AM. When the original post in a discussion thread is self-deleted, the entire discussion thread is automatically locked so new replies cannot be posted.

[NeoGreen]

1. Then Gestas pipes up...

Last edited Thu Dec 31, 2015, 08:56 AM - Edit history (1)

..."Yeah...I can see it too."


(inside family joke from the comedy show 'Who's Line Is It Anyway')

I think I found a link (can't view it from work, have to trust the google search image)

Plus one of my favorite comedy scenes from a cross (the pond....ha ha...I kill myself):

https://m.

[progressoid]

6. That whole movie!

"How shall we fuck off o Lord?"

[bvf]

2. One of my favorites...

And a close second, also courtesy of B. Kliban:




I'd also include a joke that, to my knowledge, is attributable to the late, great John Belushi, having to do with God the Father warning Eve not to bathe in a particular river. The punchline would certainly garner an alert, and even possibly get me banned.

[mr blur]

3. Yes, I know that one.

Probably wise.

[onager]

4. Most of mine are Alertable, too.

e.g., one that starts like the OP. But with Judas standing under the cross. DIRECTLY under the cross...

Not really a joke, I guess. But the latest Shroud Of Turin nonsense reminds me of this:

[Shadowflash]

5. Haha!

[tk2kewl]

9. made me laugh out loud on the train

[progressoid]

7. Jesus Christ walks into an inn.

He hands the innkeeper 3 nails and asks, "Can you put me up for the night?"

[onager]

8. Southern joke...

And one I've told in here before, so old-timers will be eye-rolling. But for our newer victims...

In a dim, smoky honky-tonk somewhere in Georgia, a blind man, a one-armed man and a redneck are having a beer.

The one-armed man peers toward the other end of the bar, which is barely visible. "I'll be damned! That looks like Jesus Christ sitting down there. I...uh...it IS Jesus! He looks just like he did in the Sunday School books! Bartender! Give my buddy Jesus a beer on me."

Bartender serves the bearded, long-haired guy his free beer. The guy slowly rises from his bar stool, walks to the one-armed man, and gently touches his shoulder.

"Look! My arm growed back!"

The blind man quickly tells the bartender to give Jesus a beer on him. The bartender does. Jesus gently touches the man's eyes.

"I'm healed! I can SEE! It's a miracle."

Jesus turns toward the redneck. Who says: "Don't you touch me, you son-of-a-bitch. I'm collecting Disability."

[whatthehey]

10. In the same vein

You have to have the right imagination for this one
--------------------------------------------

"Peter, Peter. Take me down from this cross."

"Yes, Oh Lord."

"Feet first you bastaaaaaard!"

[edhopper]

11. You are in the right forum for this.

I like the Jesus/Zombie jokes.

This one is pretty good;

[IMG][/IMG]

[uriel1972]

13. well, that will go down well....

with those who monitor
besides Jesus was a lich!

[edhopper]

14. I had not seen that term

cool, thanks.

as for anyone who is offended by coming here and seeing what the nasty atheists are saying, Fuck'em.

[Goblinmonger]

17. ....

[edhopper]

21. lol

[catnhatnh]

12. Cross your legs, Buddy

I only got three nails!

[Goblinmonger]

16. Cyanide and Happiness have a lot

[Gore1FL]

18. Moses and Jesus were walking along...

As They walked they came across a lake.

Moses turned to Jesus and said, "hang on for a second, Lord, I want to see if I still have it."
He then turned to the Lake raised his staff and the water parted. He lowered his staff and bragged "Yep, still got it."

Jesus, not to be outdone, said "step aside" and push Moses out of his way as the crucified and risen savior headed towards the water. As he began to walk on it, he found himself in water to his ankles, knees, chest... Soon he was submerged completely.

Thinking quickly, Moses parted the water and saved Jesus from a second death. After Jesus was safely on the shore, Moses reminded him, "Lord, you have holes in your feet now."