God Speaks To Woman Through Goldfish Cracker

[Paul E Ester]

[BlueStreak]

1. Just shoot me now.

[notadmblnd]

2. Whatever gets you through lady

[upaloopa]

3. It's getting harder each day to tell the satire from the

truly stupid.

[JeffHead]

4. It's an imprint of a phillips screw head

The machine that presses out these little golden pieces of crap had a screw loose. Just like this lady. Like the previous poster said Just shoot me now please!

[Starboard Tack]

5. From a burning bush to a goldfish cracker. Wow!

You'd think an omniscient god would have discovered an easier way to communicate by now. Even schoolkids have cellphones.

[rug]

6. These are supposed to be macaroons.

[summerschild]

7. I think it's a sign, too. That this lady is crazy.

(Wonder if God has a special bag of eyeballs that he saves just for batcrap crazies like this lady and Michele Bachmann?)

[Tyrs WolfDaemon]

8. It isn't a special bag of eyeballs, it is like our cheap bags of googly eyes

Whenever one of the Gods gets lazy or is just playing around they get the cheap stuff from the local Gods' Hardware and Hobbies store. Crazy eyes are available in aisle 9 (Fun and Jokes) next to the 'Spastic Asshole Personality Models' and the books on how to make religious symbols appear in toast. (For human fun: http://jesustoasters.com/ )

[summerschild]

11. You may be right!

The jesustoasters site is a hoot.

Guess you gotta give good ole American entrepreneurship a thumbs up, and American humor as well!

I always heard to be successful, find a need and fill it. Who'd-a-thunk we would one day live in a society that could need (and maybe sell) jesustoasters! To be honest, I don't know if I've been "Onioned" or not but you can maybe customize your toaster's miraculous imprint for around $1000.

Love it! Thanks for the chuckle!

[cbayer]

9. She eats pounds of these things every week and looks at each one individually?

Yes, Patty, you are the recipient of a miracle. And also of yellow dye poisoning.

[trotsky]

10. Why are you mocking someone's sincerely-held beliefs?

Especially when you so haughtily chide others for doing so?

[gcomeau]

12. Well that's just crazy.

Now, if it was a *burning* goldfish cracker then she'd have a case right up there with communication through burning shrubbery.

[Apophis]

13. A miracle? It's a goddamn cracker with a Phillips head screw imprint.

What a f-ing moron.

[struggle4progress]

14. slow news day, meet woman who eats too many goldfish crackers. woman, meet slow news day