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Sun Nov 18, 2018, 10:19 PM

Physical abuse, not sexual.

Much has been written about clergy sexual abuse. Not as much about physical abuse.

Three examples from my life.

I was 12 and attending Catholic Confirmation Class. We were about 2 weeks from the confirmation ceremony when the nuns took us out of the classrooms and lined us up against a wall. A nun began asking us the questions based on the Catechism. One kid gave the wrong answer. The nun grabbed both his cheeks and, shaking him by his cheeks, gave him the correct answer and had him repeat it as she shook him.

A couple of kids down the line, a kid got a wrong answer. The nun slammed him against the wall. He fell. There was blood on the wall. Another nun took him out of the hallway. The blood was on the hall for several weeks.

Yeah, me too. I was kicked by a priest. I complained to another priest who said, "I will speak with Father.... " I soon left church, figuring, Jesus wouldn't act that way.

Several years ago, I went to a performance of "Nunsense." Good show. As a last part of the show, the actor asked if anyone in the audience had any questions. One guy, about 40 years old, asked, "Do you know why the nuns in my school hit me?" The atmosphere in the audience went dark. The actress apologized for his pain and believed that no longer happens.

Clergy physical abuse also leaves emotional scars and needs to be recognized.

3H

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Arrow 10 replies Author Time Post
Reply Physical abuse, not sexual. (Original post)
3Hotdogs Nov 2018 OP
Siwsan Nov 2018 #1
Duppers Nov 2018 #4
Siwsan Nov 2018 #7
Laffy Kat Nov 2018 #2
RainCaster Nov 2018 #3
murielm99 Nov 2018 #5
Permanut Nov 2018 #6
Act_of_Reparation Nov 2018 #8
MineralMan Nov 2018 #9
Major Nikon Nov 2018 #10

Response to 3Hotdogs (Original post)

Sun Nov 18, 2018, 10:25 PM

1. Kids were caned at the school I attended

By both the nuns and the lay teachers. We had one teacher who would turn his class ring around, on his finger, and whack boys across the top of their the heads with it.

My mother never believed the stuff I told her. Then when I went to my 20 year high school class reunion, I met up with a bunch of former parochial school classmates. We all had the exact same memories of what went on.

I don't have a lot of good memories of that place.

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Response to Siwsan (Reply #1)

Mon Nov 19, 2018, 12:56 AM

4. Parents who reject the brutal truths

Regarding the treatment we kids received damaged their us and our relationships with them. That was my experience.

I was 50-something when my 70-something yr old mother told me that her friend's children confirmed what my brother, sister, and I told her we experienced at church decades earlier. She refused to believe (trust) her offsprings until HER friend's adult children confirmed it.

Church was absolutely mandatory in the home I grew up in. I've not been in a church, except for weddings, since I became independent of her.

- Proud atheist here

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Response to Duppers (Reply #4)

Mon Nov 19, 2018, 08:46 AM

7. I was told if I ever left the 'church', I'd be disowned.

Mom gave me a list of things that would result in my expulsion - marrying a divorced guy, marrying someone who wasn't RC were the top 2. So, I decided it was easier to remain single, although my sister married a non-Catholic and my brother married a divorcee. I checked with them, and neither had ever been issued the same ultimatums.

My Dad was a devout Catholic but his love for me was unconditional and would never have let that happen. One of the few times I ever saw him call out my Mom for her controlling attitude was in my defense.

After Dad died and we took away Mom's car keys, I'd take her to mass but when it was no longer possible for her to go, I never went back except for family funerals.

I will say that my mother devoted herself, heart and soul into her parish. She was always there, working, volunteering, cleaning, decorating. She was a parishioner there for over 50 years but when she died, only a handful of people could be bothered to attend her memorial mass. I remember getting into an argument with the priest when I went in to arrange her memorial mass. They kept trying to push readings from St Paul, and I refused to use them.

I'm just glad to have that aspect of my life OUT of my life.

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Response to 3Hotdogs (Original post)

Sun Nov 18, 2018, 10:25 PM

2. It is beyond me how anyone could support the Catholic Church these days.

It's right up there with supporting the GOP in my book.

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Response to 3Hotdogs (Original post)

Sun Nov 18, 2018, 10:55 PM

3. I went to a Lutheran parochial school that was just as bad

I was regularly disciplined for being bored. I had to ride my bike home from school (5 miles} with fresh bruises on my butt and the backs of my thighs.

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Response to RainCaster (Reply #3)

Mon Nov 19, 2018, 01:14 AM

5. My dad and his siblings

received harsh physical and verbal abuse in a Lutheran parochial school. They talked about it for years.

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Response to 3Hotdogs (Original post)

Mon Nov 19, 2018, 01:41 AM

6. I went to public school, no Catholic influence in my family..

to those of us who never experienced the trauma you faced, this is really important information. Thank you for sharing what must be painful memories.

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Response to 3Hotdogs (Original post)

Mon Nov 19, 2018, 09:28 AM

8. Psychological abuse, as well.

I had a sixth grade teacher who ridiculed a kid so bad his parents pulled him out of the school.

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Response to 3Hotdogs (Original post)

Mon Nov 19, 2018, 10:14 AM

9. It's all a misunderstanding. They thought that Jesus said,

"Suffer, little children..."

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Response to 3Hotdogs (Original post)

Mon Nov 19, 2018, 10:57 AM

10. My experience was one day at a Catholic day care

I had my mouth washed out with soap for "saying the lord's name in vain" and I was spanked for some minor infraction. My parents never spanked us.

Other kids were getting similar discipline for all sorts of things. It seemed as if that's all the caretakers were doing. There was a constant atmosphere of fear with the regular kids that went there. That was the last time I ever attended their day care. I can't imagine how anyone could stand that type of abuse throughout their childhood.

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