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Mon Mar 28, 2016, 03:27 PM

A staunch Calvinist dies one day

and goes to Heaven. There, he sees two lines. Hanging over the end of one line is a sign that says "Free Will" and over the other says "Pre-Determined". Being a staunch Calvinist, he gets into the "Pre-Determined" line.

An angel with a clipboard comes along after a bit and asks him, "Why are you in this line?" He answers "Well, because I picked this one I guess." The angel glares over its glasses for a moment and then admonishes him, "You picked it? You're supposed to be in the other one then, dummy!"

The Calvinist switches lines. Eventually, another angel with another clipboard happens upon him and asks him why he's in this line.

Our hero replies, "Well, that guy over there told me I belonged in this one!"

5 replies, 1008 views

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Arrow 5 replies Author Time Post
Reply A staunch Calvinist dies one day (Original post)
pscot Mar 2016 OP
NV Whino Mar 2016 #1
Act_of_Reparation Mar 2016 #2
hrmjustin Mar 2016 #3
pscot Mar 2016 #4
Manifestor_of_Light Mar 2016 #5

Response to pscot (Original post)

Mon Mar 28, 2016, 04:14 PM

1. Excellent.

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Response to pscot (Original post)

Mon Mar 28, 2016, 05:33 PM

2. Isn't it funny...

...I've never met a Calvinist who thought they were predetermined to an eternity of torment in the fires of Hell. Every single one thought they had a recommendation to the spirit in the sky. Go figure.

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Response to pscot (Original post)

Mon Mar 28, 2016, 06:36 PM

3. That was funny.

 

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Response to hrmjustin (Reply #3)

Wed Mar 30, 2016, 12:27 PM

4. Not everyone appreciates

exegetical humor.

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Response to pscot (Original post)

Thu Mar 31, 2016, 05:46 PM

5. That was funny.

I have always wanted to ask a Calvinist why bother going to church or anything else if everything is pre-determined. If our works are as nothing. Makes it all look even more pointless.

But then Catholics believe you must have faith AND works. Protestants think faith alone is OK.

My personal position is that good works are done by real people on this real earth, not by god. I can see results from real people doing good things. My "angels" are REAL PEOPLE that have saved my life -- trained doctors and nurses.

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