Ritual, memory and emotion.

[pinto]

My family, extended family and friends gathered this weekend for a celebration of my brother in law's life. The setting was a beautiful oak shaded historic park in town. At his request he received military honors by a Marine color guard. The commander of the guard wisely told my sister that they would open the celebration so we could then move on to personal remembrances, meet 'n greet with wide spread family and friends, share some very funny stories and food. Among my clans food is a *very big thing* lol. And my brother in law was the family's West Coast BBQ er of note.

To the point of the opening ritual - regardless of the various opinions about the military and the VietNam war in particular among the gathered - it was powerful. And fitting that it was my brother in law's choice before he died. An aunt put it this way -

"The memorial began as eight Marine Color-Guard members in full regalia performed military honors for pinto's brother in law, a veteran of the Vietnam War. There were three rifle volleys, three shell casings gathered from the sandy floor of the garden, were presented in a pouch by a Marine who knelt in front of pinto's sister. The American flag, unfurled and held tautly by two of the Marines while taps was played, was then refolded and presented to pinto's sister. The pageantry of the ceremony was intensely moving and sobs were audible among the assembled friends and family."

My immediate family was actively involved in the anti-war movements of that era. As were many of our friends. Yet we were all there and moved by the ritual. It transcended that bridge. My sister fell in love with a vet and had a great 40 year marriage building a life and family together.

Now that the whole gang has caught planes or set back on the road to home I thought a bit about how ritual plays a part in our lives. Obviously, this was a particular and very personal instance but it made me take another look at some of the comments in general I've made here about it. There's something there.

[cilla4progress]

1. Just lovely.

Thank you for your post.

Ritual is transformative. It drew me, for a time, towards paganism. All religion is based around ritual. I believe it taps into a very human need, though not sure what?

What a beautiful remembrance.

[Warpy]

2. You are correct and saying goodbye is one of the major uses for it

So are welcoming newborn infants into the family and bringing a significant other into the family. These are all things that every religion does very well.

Those of us with no use for organized religion often have to find our way alone, whether we're humanists, atheists, freethinkers, or just disgusted by what we were raised with. If we are lucky, we meet other outsiders to help us along.

[cbayer]

3. This sounds like a wonderful event, Pinto.

I know this has been a tragic loss for your family and I hope that this helped with the healing.

Ritual is an important part of life and can be very, very powerful whether it commemorates a happy or sad event.