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Sun Mar 15, 2015, 06:24 PM

Need help regarding gender choices in MMOs, maybe help in how I handled a child online too.

Although at age 60 and a gamer since HALO 1 came out I am new to the world of MMOs. When Destiny came out I could either not play it or join in with countless other gamers in this MMO. So I took the plunge and signed up. I am male but years ago I started using female characters where I could in my RPGs, (I mainly like RPG's and FPS's). In Destiny I chose to run 3 female characters. Sadly today, my choice to run females may have just traumatized a 13 year old young man.

The story is as follows:
When I signed up for Destiny I went ahead and filled out my personal bio, stating clearly that I am a 60 year old Viet Nam Era "MALE" vet. Soon after signing up I discovered that I was having a glitch in the game, (still am btw), and added to my bio that I would appreciate any help in fixing that glitch. Destiny has been out a few months now and this glitch prevents me from maxing out my three characters. When other players try to get me to participate in non-solo activities I inform them that I can't, that I have this damned glitch. Should they ask further I explain it further and request any help. So far nobody has offered any help.

Yesterday a fellow player tried to befriend me, I was burning dinner so I told the player that I couldn't chat, that I had to go, and then I logged off. This morning I left this player a message stating the usual that I would make for a lousy friend because I couldn't participate in team things, besides which I didn't even have a microphone, (mic's seem to be a standard request for those team get-togethers). The gamer persisted saying a mic was not necessary. I tried to explain to him/her that I truly wasn't interested in anything other than soloing, that I was happiest doing just that, A couple hours later this player starts asking me tons of questions, (it was kinda annoying because it's hard to keep ducking into hidey-spots to chat while being shot at). Eventually this player said he thought it strange that I was such an experienced gamer and yet such a shy 'girl'. Well that made me go huh?!? in a big hurry so I texted back setting the record straight, that it was in my bio: 60 year old MALE!, that furthermore, after years of gaming I had switched to female characters because I got tired of seeing the backside of my macho-male characters. I get back WTF! When I ask "Huh?" He returns "That's weird, I am 13 bro!"

Well now I am shocked. FWIW up to that point I was sorta thinking I had someone from BUNGIE, (Destiny's creator) asking me stuff about my gaming, my glitches and stuff like that but being coy about it. I even asked outright during our conversation if the person I was talking to was an employee of Bungee and got back "No, just reporting your bugs to Bungee" After hearing that I was talking to a 13 year old, I got REAL CAREFUL with my next response because #1 I did not want to traumatize him further and #2 I didn't want him or his parents thinking I was some kind of internet creep out fishing for kids! I apologized for any misunderstanding, I suggested that should anyone in the game offend him that he needs to hit the ignore button and I ended with my goals all along being that I wanted help with my glitch, that I sincerely meant nothing else. I apologized again for the offense and hit the send button.

It's been about an hour now and I've not heard back, (a good thing I hope), so I have to ask fellow gamers here: Is it non-customary or even strange to use a gender opposite yours when playing in an MMO? If so, it may explain some other issues I have been having, specifically periodically Destiny male character-players shooting at me and bashing me with swords and etc. for no reason that I can discern. (It has no affect, we can not harm each other at all, our bullets and such only hurt the bad-guys).

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Reply Need help regarding gender choices in MMOs, maybe help in how I handled a child online too. (Original post)
chknltl Mar 2015 OP
Warren DeMontague Mar 2015 #1
chknltl Mar 2015 #2
Warren DeMontague Mar 2015 #3
chknltl Mar 2015 #4
Warren DeMontague Mar 2015 #7
uriel1972 Mar 2015 #5
chknltl Mar 2015 #6
uriel1972 Mar 2015 #8
MattBaggins Apr 2015 #9
chknltl Apr 2015 #10
uriel1972 Apr 2015 #11
NuttyFluffers Jun 2015 #12
keroro gunsou Jul 2015 #13

Response to chknltl (Original post)

Sun Mar 15, 2015, 07:23 PM

1. I cant say, because I find Destiny a bit boring and repetitive.

Dunno. Just cant get into it.

I've spent the better part of the past year almost exclusively playing Titanfall. i generally play as the female pilot, never really thought about it although at the beginning maybe I thought they would do better on wallrunning. i realize now there is likely no difference.

But now I'm used to it. Maybe there are some dudes who get upset at being effectively killed by "a chick" but I've never noticed a difference. That game moves so fast I dont pay attn to the pilot gender anyway.

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Response to Warren DeMontague (Reply #1)

Sun Mar 15, 2015, 08:00 PM

2. Thanks for the help.

When first I started Destiny I considered having as my motto: "You just got killed by a 'chick'". My ulterior motive being that my last name is Chick and I've found amusing ways to exploit the name like that over the years. That said, upon reflection, I get waved at bunches (I am not sure how even to wave back btw) and now I am wondering if all that waving has more to do with my running Destiny females instead of my actually doing something useful like killing the bad-guys or luring the bad-guys out for lower level characters to kill.

You are right about Destiny being repetitive but I am expecting things to open up a bit. They have added "The Dark Below" expansion, which adds 3 more tough missions and a few more that I seem to be glitched from playing. I've heard rumor that an entire new game is to be added to this one, supposedly doubling the content. That said, I am after this 'incident' seriously thinking about getting out of MMOs and heading back to some old Bethesda games that I like.

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Response to chknltl (Reply #2)

Sun Mar 15, 2015, 08:45 PM

3. Yeah, I will probably give Destiny another shot at some point.

In the meantime, though, I'm completely addicted to Titanfall- and I'm usually a) Not big on multiplayer online stuff and b) the guy who really likes the detailed, thought-provoking, interesting narrative videogame type stuff (the Mass Effect- at least until the end- and Bioshock series spring to mind)

Titanfall, in case you hadn't heard, has almost ZERO narrative content- ridiculously so- I mean, there's a "story" there, sort of, but no one pays any attention to it. It's all about the gameplay.

But good god, the gameplay is addictive.

edited to add: Yes, by playing as female you are probably getting hit on. C'est La Vie, I guess.

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Response to Warren DeMontague (Reply #3)

Sun Mar 15, 2015, 09:59 PM

4. I'll check into Titanfall shortly

Windstorm going on outside right now preventing me from doing some chores that need doing. Instead I've been hangin out online, first DU then Discussionist (ugh). I've played all of the Mass Effects and all of the Bio-Shocks. Liked Bio-Shock better because Mass Effect kept feeling like a poor quality HALO storyline. Liked the last Bio-shock best because of Lizabeth, hated that game because of the ending! I am thinking of replaying Fall-Out New Vegas. Loved both Fall Outs I played, Loved Elder Scrolls Oblivion and Skyrim too. I have in mind a suggestion I wish to make to both Bungie and Bethesda for a mash-up but I am never sure if that is just my manic/depression issue talking or not.

The thing with me about playing female characters is that any character one plays in an RPG is pretty much stylized. To my eyes the females look cooler. Don't get me wrong, I love me some Master Chief and I'd not want him looking like Cortana but years of slogging through RPGs looking at the backside of muscle-bound guys got old. In real life I don't look at guys backsides so transitioning to female characters was the way to go.

Maybe I am gay but don't know it! In Destiny my female characters look HOT. More than once I have seen other female players pause to take a look while running past. One time I bumped into another female player that had my exact same look, same race, same hair style and had the same weapon load out. We had great fun calling each other "TRAMP!" before heading out to defend the galaxy. In Destiny, Male characters look silly, all muscle bound with their chests sticking out. If looking like Conan was my only option I'd have dumped Destiny on day one!

After posting this I am heading over to you-tube to take a look at Titanfall. you got me curious now. I can't really afford it today but maybe next month you might see noobie 'female' titan driver chknltl fighting the good fight...if that's what you guys do over in Titanfall.

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Response to chknltl (Reply #4)

Mon Mar 16, 2015, 02:42 AM

7. Good Luck!



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Response to chknltl (Original post)

Mon Mar 16, 2015, 01:28 AM

5. It is well known...

That 98% of female toons are played by male gamers. Well we will never know the true percentage, it is high from what I have seen.
I play SWGEmu, which I consider one of the most female friendly games and in my guild there are a number of men and women who play female and male toons and nothing is said about it because for us it's normal.
I have always wondered about the "wanting to see something more attractive" reason, never understood it. I play half and half, I just wanted to see what it was like to game with a female toon.
All in all I have experienced no issues, I expect that in other games that are more "hardcore" the experience would be different.
GIRL... guy in real life
No girls on the internet...
These are things I have seen over the years in different games, so what is going on?
It's a very complex issue and I don't know how to help you other than say, Play it your way.

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Response to uriel1972 (Reply #5)

Mon Mar 16, 2015, 02:02 AM

6. Wow, thanks. I didn't know that about female 'toons'

Now you got me wondering how many of those 'male' characters, (toons as you call them) are played by female players. Well my bottom line for posting this is in the learning aspect. I've been beating myself up since the 'incident' and was seriously considering not going back to that game. There were those glitch reasons I mentioned above AND I am still not fully comfortable playing in an MMO but the very thought of accidentally traumatizing a child through my own ignorance just bothers the hell out of me! Your wisdom helps here uriel1972, thank you for it.

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Response to chknltl (Reply #6)

Mon Mar 16, 2015, 04:55 AM

8. Glad I could help...

Looking at your one of your posts above I have to agree with the 'ridiculous musclebound' look. In my game I play bothans. They are about half the height of an average human and slender. I think I did this just for the difference from the average game ie: World of Warcraft.
Ah well.

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Response to chknltl (Original post)

Fri Apr 10, 2015, 12:02 AM

9. I am just the opposite

I go out of my way in MMOs to Make the ugliest male characters possible so people leave me alone. I usually play gnomes or dwarves though.

I am waiting on Camelot Unchained and will go Tuatha Dé Danann, most likely Luchorpán.

I also have been playing with the same group of old people since the start of warhammer online and non of us really ever has any problems. The rule of thumb is that if someone is playing a female toon just assume they are a G.I.R.L.

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Response to MattBaggins (Reply #9)

Sat Apr 11, 2015, 01:21 AM

10. Update

I had all but forgot my OP here. If I knew when I started Destiny what I know now, I would have gone with male toons. If ever I play in another MMO, I'll definitely do just that! I'll likely be changing my Destiny name to 'Mr.Chknltl54' soon because it is easier than starting over with new characters.

Btw, am I correct in assuming (generally speaking), that two numbers often listed after a person's name reveals their year of birth? With the kid, his name was similar to 'OverTaxed 67' so I assumed he was an older gamer, possibly a Republican.

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Response to chknltl (Reply #10)

Sat Apr 11, 2015, 04:35 PM

11. For me it usually is...

But usually it's someone wanting a name somebody has already chosen and is adding on a number to make it different. There could well be 66 other "Overtaxed's" out there.

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Response to chknltl (Original post)

Fri Jun 26, 2015, 08:47 AM

12. 13 year olds regularly wig out over petty things. put little stock into it.

female avatars is ancient in gaming, from the Queen chess piece on, as an early example. gender and race being different than your own is par for the course in games. whole hobbies circulate on the assumption of wearing different masks, and exploring that, like roleplaying games and simming.

it's been there from the start of anthropomorphized video game characters, too. honestly i can't remember anyone, besides easily weirded-out pre-teen children, freaking out over Ms. Pac-Man, Samus from Metroid, Alis from Phantasy Star, Blaze from Streets of Rage, and on and on. growing up on arcades no one (openly) freaked out over a male playing Storm or Dazzler, or Marge or Lisa, on four-player X-Men or Simpsons, or Chun Li or Cammy in Street Fighter. (and females who grew up playing video games are quite familiar with playing male avatars without anyone batting an eye.)

MMOs don't change anything about this dynamic except the humanized element that the avatar talks back.

it's a pre-teen child. in those horrible awkward years. who probably doesn't get out enough.

don't over think it and relax.

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Response to chknltl (Original post)

Tue Jul 7, 2015, 02:13 PM

13. nope

not strange at all. all of my toons/avatars in the MMORPG's i've played have been female. reaction from other players has been mixed. everything from "ohmigawd a girl, let me give you free stuff," to wondering if i'm gay. eh, i do it because even when i played the old school paper and dice rpgs, i always would genderbend. it's called role playing for a reason.

the best was when i played final fantasy 11 online. the guild i played with took almost 3 years to figure out i was not a real female. after that, they made it an initiation ritual for new members, seeing how long it took for them to figure out that i was really a guy... good times.

play who you want, how you want, and what you want.

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