The origin of Super Villains: Javaman
Javaman is a moderately fictional character appearing in DU comics. He was best known for his guest appearances on Hollywood Squares and Battle of the Network Stars.
Origins
Although never explicitly stated, it was rumored that Javaman’s origin story is closely related to Spider-Man’s. According to Stan Lee, just minutes before the famous radioactive spider bit Peter Parker, it had fallen into a cup of coffee. The hot temperature caused the spider to urinate in the coffee, which mere seconds later was consumed by Javaman. The Arabica coffee grounds reacted with the radioactive urine to give Javaman his superpowers, namely, an ability to arrange and understand vast amounts of data as well as brew a superb cup of coffee. An unfortunate side effect, however, was an evil compulsion to steal pants.
This differs from the origin story given in Deadpool # 27, in which Wade Wilson claimed that Javaman was in fact a coffee machine that was made sentient by one of Tony Stark’s AI interfaces. This is widely viewed as a case of Deadpool making up nonsensical stories, though, as a sentient coffee machine is viewed as rather implausible.
1970s
Javaman made several appearances in various 70s comics. He first appeared in Incredible Hulk #185, in which he tried to destroy the hulk with an anti-gamma ray so he could steal his pants. Readers were impressed, and Javaman then appeared in two issues of Luke Cage, Hero for Hire. In these issues, he pretended to hire Luke, and while the hero was out on the case, Javaman broke into his apartment to steal Luke’s pants. In a rare Marvel-DC cross-over move, Javaman appeared in Batman # 279, where he teamed up with Two-Face in a move to steal the hero’s bat-pants.
1980s
In the early 80s, Javaman was given his own title--a rarity for super villains. It ran for forty issues before being canceled. During the run, he stole pants from Spider-Man, Captain America, the Green Lantern, Wolverine, and Speed Racer. The series cancelation was due to both low readership and a backlash from the American Pants Manufacturer’s Union.
1990s
Javaman didn’t do anything in the 90s.
2000s
Javaman returned to comic books in 2004, appearing as the main antagonist in DU Comics’ “Orrex: The Man without Pants”. Initially, Javaman served under the tutelage of Orrex, learning how to perform meaningless tasks like writing limericks or telling jokes about presidents who think Brazilian is a number. He soon rebelled from silly clutches of Orrex, and set out to compile a list of super heroes and super villains.
Music and Television
In 1986, Javaman teamed up with Rick James and Vanilla Ice to produce the super villain themed rap album, "Just Give Me Yo Damn Pants Son!". The album was banned in all but thirteen countries, only due to the fact that no one in those thirteen countries had heard of the album. Vanilla Ice reportedly said that the experience of making that album turned him off of rap completely, as well as wearing pants. His publicist claimed that the one hit wonder returned to wearing pants right around the turn of the millenium.
Although Javaman has never appeared in any movies or on television, Netflix has recently ordered a 13-episode series based on the exploits of Javaman and Orrex. The role of Javaman will be played by James McAvoy; while Orrex hasn’t been cast yet, producers are currently considering Gilbert Gottfried, Carrot Top, and a bowl of frosted mini wheats.
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I'm pants of steel
