Does anyone here self-reflect that they may have prejudices?

[deadinsider]

Note: I'm a white guy but wanted to see what the responses would be like.

Truthfully, I think I do prejudice (understand that doesn't mean racism or bigotry). But honestly all of you: I do. Here: If I was a lone white dude walking down an ally in the ghetto I'd be much more nevous than if I'm walking down an alley in (a well lit) trailer park.

And that's what my question entails: not racist, not bigoted... nothing like that. But prejudging. Understand: as thinking animals we do this all the time:

I exercise discretion of fast sounding, or flashy cars when crossing the street. But that discretion can lead to prejudice. But is that what it is?

First: do I, being a white male, seem invasive in this forum (African American Group), or a meddler, or what-have-you?

But do you ever feel that you measure the skin before getting to know the character?

I'm looking forward to the responses guys and gals (of course we do that one too: sexism?) Let's leave it at this for now!!!

Oh: I've edited this post to make a bit more sense in english (i butchered some words before).

But anyway, an honest opinion: it's like the cafeteria thing in high school - do all the blacks hang out and eat lunch; and all the whites hang out and eat lunch? If so (and I. would suspect a good amount on here could actually answer 'no') we have a long fight in front of us. Our enemy is the same...

I typed that last bit there and got another question: blacks and women have gotten the shaft pretty much most of history. One thing: me, yup the white guy, don't feel all that privileged. I dislike these rich, old white SOBs as much as anyone.

And now were all friends yeah, I aint got ya that easy. Give me a response though.... thanks.

Edit: I got some other poor wording outta the way. I think I'm done!! Hope so...

[JustAnotherGen]

1. Yep

But they tend to not be based on race.

My husband has 'gotten' to me. Every time I watch My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding (or attempt to) he rants and raves about Gypsies. Seriously - his prejudice comes from being from Italy. By and large, many Europeans when pushed will admit they are repulsed by Gypsies/Travelers. So now he's getting into my brain with all of his nonsense about them blinding their children so their kids can get more 'begging' and pick pocketing and numerous other slurs he lodges against an entire group - when the vast majority don't behave that way.

And truthfully - I wouldn't walk down Avenue D in Rochester NY (I currently live in posh central NJ) or in a trailer park in South Jersey at 2 AM. Has nothing to do with the race of folks living there - but the criminal elements regardless of race.

Now - in terms of prejudging. Who do in the African American forum do you feel/think/believe has been prejudiced. Keep in mind - that while you may not feel you are one of the priviledged ones - you probably don't get DWB. Or SWB.

Go look them up and respond. Most of the folks in the AA forum who are regular posters/readers know PRECISELY what those two 'acronyms' are without using the google.

[deadinsider]

3. Oh, no one here in this forum...

I posted it here becaue it wouldn't make sense for me to ask other white people if they are prejudiced. Some of em may say: against what?!

Just asking an honest question and hoping for honest responses.

Your anecdote of your husband's prejudices is what I was looking for... but I guess I may be a bit 'prejudice' posting this in the African American forum looking for respones!! Damn the irony!

Anyway, a greater point is that the 1% against us, the 99%, depends a whole lot on prejudice. Divide and conquer and all that.

So we have a bit a allegiance here on DU cause we'er all Dems or progressives or whatever. But I was wondering how much all of you really reflect on how you treat others.

I've noticed from time to time that I gravitate towards certain herd behavior. It'st strange. I'm a strong person, well read and all that, but was wondering if other people (posting here made the most sense; of course that may make me a bit racist! hope not) feel that pressure sometimes.

I think black people, generally (though not always) when going out for interviews, have to act 'white' in professional America. At least, that's what I suspect.

So that's what I'm talking about here I guess; do you find yourself measuring other people based on societal wisdom?

[NOLALady]

5. "Act White"

Please explain?

[deadinsider]

6. That's offensivie to you but I'll try here...

(Oh and if I'm off base here and you think that I'm being, well ,what my post about, call me out please - but I didnt' mean to):

I started typing something but then I thought: oh dude, that's not gonna sound right (not bad mind you, but trying to expain without sounding like Hitler).

I gotta think about what I wanna say here for a bit... I have to be careful.

(And you're right to be offended, if you were, cause it demands some explaination).

I'll be posting, or working on a reply soon NOLALady... K?

[deadinsider]

9. Well, here goes NOLALady...

I've done many interviews and I feel that (though it may not be true) a lot of black candidates couldn't be 'themselves'. My impression was that generally (bad word youll rip me for, but I'm gonna use it) black candidates, not all of course, seem more uncomfortable, or nervous, than white candidates. In my experience I attribute it to a cultural adjustment (not always; I don't always speak in absolutes) that black people must make living in a 'white' world.

Well, NOLALady I had 2 more big paragraphs written, extrapolating in the most eloquent terms what I meant. But really I did; I did a shorcut and it erased those great episodes of human thought. You'll never get to see em!!

But, I hit upon something that may explain what I'm talking about wihout sounding like a card carrying member of the KKK: look at OUR president. When the fuck has birth certificates ever been a vetting process AFTER the fact? Seriously? This is what I'm talking about: I'd like to see Obama be that 'angry black man.' He is the most influential politicain of our times but he knows every word he says is vetted (what did that n****r mean by that?).

Obama is my point: he has to act more 'white' and lay off the 'black'. Ohhh, if he acts like a black dude: look out whit man, he just sang Al Green. That SOB; why not Hank Williams????

I guess that's my point; but the president just offered an easy analogy. But I feel black people have to 'behave' like supine persons (realize I'm a freaking rebel myself).

Seriously, NOLALady that's what I seee; being honest. I think black people and women, compared to me, have to make adjustments in society that I don't have to (or at least most white dudes don't have to).

Make sense, or did I bury myself further?

[NOLALady]

12. Possibly

The black candidates were uncomfortable due to negative experiences. I guess it could be called IWB. Sort of the same kind of nervousness experienced when DWB.

When Black people pretend to be supine/humble, do you see that as acting white? Or do you see it as pretending to be humble in order to survive. When I was younger (some youth have no sense) and walked through "bad" neighborhoods, I instinctively projected a humble persona. Maybe some people subconsciously act this way for self preservation.
I guess I don't see a cultural adjustment to a white world so much as an adjustment to a sometimes hostile world.

The way I see it, if Obama acted more "white", he would show his anger. When was the last time you heard a black elected official yell "You Lie". The way I see it, acting white means its OK to show your anger. Acting black means you better pretend that all's well.

But that's just my viewpoint.

[deadinsider]

13. NOLALady thanks and here's mine back at ya...

Yeah, it's just a 'feeling' I got in interviews. I did generalize in earlier posts, so that's a bit confusing, but I always felt white people had an unfair advantage.

Negative experiences: it may be, it may be. It's something like that.

You know me saying 'acting white' was prejudiced myself ( ) and you called me out on it. Thanks, that was a mistake on my part; not that lame 'poor choice of words' crap, but a prejudice I gotta rid myself of... you know?

I think the 'adjustment' is survival. Definitely. Everyone, and I mean everyone, I know prides themselves in being 'him' or 'her' - skin color doesn't matter in that individual esteem.

You're 'hostile' world is true; I would daresay for most people, white dude like me included. And this guy your exchanging words with 'preserves' himself too; bending this way and that for my paycheck.

Obama has had to put up with more shit than any politician, even ignoring the presidency, than I've ever seen. That's one reason why, besides his excellent oration skills, that I voted for him. You mentioned the instance where Wilson(?) yelled you lie at Obama during the State of the Union address. Yeah, whites do get away with more than blacks, but not only in that regard (as I'm sure you know).

But that's kinda my 'act white' thing I was talking about. But the 'white' thing is the problem. So if I could rephrase: "We all have to act 'white'." I guess I was thinking 'corporate' or something.

So, to lace this up, I love Obama but am having trouble voting for him again. If not him, I'm not voting.

There will be critics of my stance saying: well when you voted it wasn't gonna be all rainbows and unicorns. Understood.

But what I want is someone willing to sacrifice themselves for us...

Like this....

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Or this...

Or this...

But, kinda weirdly, I really like this guy, and his anger...

[JustAnotherGen]

16. Okay

Now my dad was a Green Beret - in that first class. And forget that lie that the G.B.s "Launched" in 1965. Not true. He always implied, and then in the last week of his life - amongst very clearly stating his 'mind was shattering' (passed away this past August from Cancer caused by Agent Pink/Green/Orange - Fed Govt Admitted it in October 2011) - He spoke of it all.

I'm not a Conspiracy Theorist - but I am a realist. Those four men - truly in my mind were 'sacrificed' by something much darker than lone wolves. Just sayin . . .


There's one man left off - Medgar Evers. He didn't have the wealthy background of the Kennedys - but he differed from the other two in regards to the path of education and choice of profession and used those choices to make a powerful impact - in other ways. I'd give that same respect to Marshall too.

Now Marshall - he made it there and made an impact in how this country could or could not determine the HUMANITY of black people. He lived to do it.

Evers - didn't. He was cut down by an animal and is not given the 'face time' that Malcolm X and Dr. King are. But he was here. He had a wife and children. He was an attorney. He took a quiet and forceful approach to push the rights of black people in America forward. He took a stand - a quiet one - in Mississippi.

I prefer his (Evers) approach and Marshalls - and yes - President Obama's.

He doesn't have to be killed during a campaign stop to be 'admired' by America. I hope he lives to a ripe old age. And I hope he turns those 'dark elements' of this country on their ear - over,and over, and over again.

[deadinsider]

17. True bud...

I've read about Evers before; but you know how we all admire the well-known ones.

Question: are down south now? If so, whats the feel down there? You know, having that f****n n****r in the Whitehouse? I did that on purpose cause it seems those idiots down there all talk that kinda shit.

I'll tell you what: I'm down in Madison, WI now but I'm from northern Minnesota. Everyone always thinks "Oh the south is sooo racist." Yeah, sure, but up north where I'm front it also true. Yet, there - up north - its this 'passive' kinda racism. You move your family there and they'll respect you; shit, fight for you. But there's this allowance, which my mother never agreed with, for using the n word and using rhetorical generalizations. That troubled me quite a bit. I have some uncles, which I love, that say the 'n' word. I told my mom "we gotta saty something when they say that shit." And we have been for a couple of years. But I fear they still use it when we're not in their company.

So, the south ain't got all the racist douchebags!! And the uncles that say that shit, that would offend you, are really good people. Like I said: if you lived there they wouldn't say that shit in front of you; and when they said it, they wouldn't be thinking of you. Really.

But its still offensive; at least in that context. So its a struggle sometimes. And the young people develop that same habit of using the 'n' word. All of em thogh like telling you, once you call em out on it, that its not a generalization of black people. Its a pejorative for 'lazy' blacks, basically existing in the same respect as 'poor white trash'.

But what do you think?

[NOLALady]

19. I am way down South.

I have not heard any offensive comments about our President. But, their votes show their frame of mind. Almost always against their interests. SMH!

I've confronted young people (black and white) about their use of the n word. When they bring up the rappers, I ask how do their Mother feel when they refer to them as H...s and B......s? And if you do not call your Mom B......h (as some rappers refer to women), how can you feel its ok to use the N word?

There was a single Mother with about 4-5 kids in the neighborhood where I grew up. We were all poor, but they were poorer. Everyone in the neighborhood helped them as much as they could. We were not taught that poor equaled lazy, Or if someone was lazy it was OK to use the N word.

JMO

[JustAnotherGen]

22. No

I was born in Germany, moved to Western NY when I was about 4, then moved to Central NJ in January 2006. I did spend EXTENSIVE amounts of time visiting my grandparents in Northern AL as a kid.

In terms of the effing n-bomb attitude - it's alive and well in NJ. It's why people voted for Chris Christie. Ahhh - they will never admit it - but it is true.

[Number23]

21. "The way I see it, if Obama acted more "white", he would show his anger."

Very well said. You kind of just blew my mind.

[Blue_Tires]

2. prejudice is a normal human reaction influenced by an individual's social conditioning

Because somewhere out there is always a culture/people/situation that you know very little about or had no exposure to, and could make you apprehensive at first...

Where the line gets drawn is: Does that person stop and confront their internal prejudices and recognize them for what they are? Or do they allow them to take over and direct their thoughts/words/actions into something negative??

[NOLALady]

4. Have you asked this question elsewhere?

"Does anyone here self-reflect that they may have prejudices?"

Or only in this forum?

I have a couple of neighbors that have Confederate flags on waving in their front yards. Because of their actions, I am definitely guilty of prejudging them. I must admit, I am not interested in knowing their character. They happen to be non Black, but I would feel the same if they were Black.

I also tend to prejudge anyone who may harass me for SWB and DWB.

Yes. I prejudge, based on a persons actions.

[deadinsider]

7. So that's the thing...

I agree with 100%; I wouldn't wanna know them either.

Thanks for the response... I'm having a smoke and gonna work on my "act white" explaination.

I do expect you to bludgeon me with my response tho cause that's a tough one... get your hammer ready

[JustAnotherGen]

8. Acting White

I've always felt it was most insulting to Caucasians/Whites/Those of European heritage . . . what does that mean? My mom's grandparents are a good example for me to use. . .

The two germans - one protestant at birth and one jewish at birth. He converts to marry the 'good looking girl'.

One was 100% Irish protestant.

One was literally off the boat (via Ellis Island) from France (Papa Georges - my great grandpa).

Being in these three 'branches' of my family tree for events and such - you would have an entirely different 'ethnic group' experience.

But acting white - does the uneducated person of European heritage from the backwoods of Tennessee ALSO have to flex when they go into a job interview - say at Lucent? I bet they do. I bet they have to 'mold' their speech and body language to that of the interviewer. Here's where that gets sticky . . . what if the interviewer is well educated, well spoken, and well read - regardless of her heritage/upbringing.

[deadinsider]

10. See post #9; you weren't the only questioning my use of words nt

[deadinsider]

11. Actuallyt dude, or dudette, upon reading your post...

Yeah, I sounded like a d-bag there I guess (didnt' mean to).

It especially becomes clear when you ask what a peron from Tennesse would try to adjust to 'act white' even if they're white.

That's the point of my main post.

Seems you SOBs are drawing out more of my prejudices that I expected. Thanks for making me feel like a rotten a-hole

But good insight. Thank you...

[JustAnotherGen]

14. Naaah

You aren't being a dick! :lmao: Fair questions/train of thought.

[deadinsider]

15. Hardy har har

But yeah: this is what I wanted NOLALady called out some of my shit, mainly misplaced words or just plain prejudice.

That's what I wanted. You, and I'm thinking others not getting into it with us are also reading, call me on my shit; hey, shit is shit.

When I do that you can explain, but I'll never be black, and you'll never be white, so we gotta get over that. You and me: we bleed the same; if you're a guy - well we wanna screw the same; we're both humans so I excpect we both want thsoe thick steaks; watch commercials do ya(?), shit those pretty freaking cars - yeah, I want one too.

So really, we're pretty much the same... beside societal shit; same.

But I went out here on this forum, and just fucking threw a question out there.

You all have been great. Thanks for the feedback; and JustAnotherGen "ya fucker" (that's actually an affectionate term from me; I didn't know what else to say.... uggg).

[provis99]

20. if they have confederate flags, you are not prejudging them.

Prejudice come in when you have no evidence of a person's character. I'd say an idiot with a confederate flag on his property is giving pretty big evidence of his character.

[deadinsider]

18. I love this...

Off topic but awesome...

[bigtree]

23. sure, I have prejudices

prejudice=fear, misunderstanding, insecurity, bias

Sure, I experience these all of the time. I think it's important, though, how I act on these, or how these prejudices manifest or resolve themselves in my behavior.