I've had some time to process what happened at yesterday's Dr. appointment

Now, I have no issue with Oak Street Health, which is the clinic I use. The support staff is wonderful and up until now I had a great APN who took the time to get to know me, understand me, and treated me with respect. Unfortunately, she retired.

They assigned me to an MD. She took zero time to get to know me, beyond what's in my chart. She questioned just about everything I told her.

Then I mentioned my severe anxiety disorder. One cause is the numerous family and friend's deaths, over the past 8 years. It's now surpassed 10. I'm now living in literal fear that I'll lose my brother, who is the only other survivor in our immediate family. She said "You're seeing a counselor, aren't you? You should be over that." I'll never get over that. As to the 'white coat' anxiety - she just blew that off. I'll be bringing this up at my next therapy appointment.

Eventually she asked me if I had an advanced directive/DNR. I said yes and thought I gave them a copy, but I'll bring another. Her response was 'Because you know if something happened while you were here, I'd have no choice but to do CPR. Do you know what CPR does to an 'elderly' body??' I was practically breathless that she would say something so incredibly inappropriate to someone with a documented case of extreme anxiety.

I was so emotionally exhausted when I got home, I slept for about 3 hours. Then I did a bit of crying. This has been gnawing at me, all night.

I'm going to give her one more chance, since it's just for some lab work but she said she'd be there, and if she's still coming across in such an inappropriate manner, I'm going to ask to be reassigned, and I'll tell them exactly why. Of course,

Meanwhile, I am going to respond to their 'tell us about your visit' text, today. It will be honest and direct.

Thanks for letting me vent.