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retrowire

(10,345 posts)
Fri Oct 28, 2016, 10:00 AM Oct 2016

Sigh... I think I want to buy a firearm. (updated)

Original post below this one.

Wow, thank you all for the great advice. I agree that, getting a gun might actually just enable and increase the stress. Plus, you guys calmed me about the fears of the crazies on the right actually doing something.

Big dog might just be the key.

---
But here's the problem. I suffer from bipolar disorder. My wife suffers from borderline personality disorder.

We just moved to a new neighborhood. Stress sets in because of unfamiliarity. We've only met two neighbors so far and they're great! But still, we're in the city now.

Add to this stress the impending stress of our nation becoming as divided as it is. I won't be surprised to expect Trumpers taking up arms in a foolish way. And I fear that if the worst happens and I must barricade our home, we don't want to have only knives and bats.

I guess I'm seeking an opinion. Should we avoid firearms because of our mental issues? Should we let the anxiety subside and rely on other hone security methods?

Thank you for your time.

37 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
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Sigh... I think I want to buy a firearm. (updated) (Original Post) retrowire Oct 2016 OP
Don't buy a gun 20895DEM Oct 2016 #1
Concur HAB911 Oct 2016 #2
Don't buy a gun metroins Oct 2016 #3
Let's look at what you can do to alleviate your anxiety. Avalux Oct 2016 #5
Let the anxiety subside and rely on other home security methods. blm Oct 2016 #6
If there isn't a comparison in the severity, why would you mention your sister? Marengo Oct 2016 #13
So he knows that the reply comes from a source familiar with the various levels of blm Oct 2016 #15
yeah i didnt take your advice rudely. nt retrowire Oct 2016 #17
thanks, retro blm Oct 2016 #19
Simply because your reason for including the example of your sister was not clear... Marengo Oct 2016 #18
You do realize that diagnosed mental health issues are not static? MADem Oct 2016 #32
No gun. ADT or other security companies will work just fine. leftofcool Oct 2016 #7
Your mental state and guns don't mix beachbumbob Oct 2016 #8
I don't think the Trumplodytes will revolt in numbers that average people need to barricade meadowlark5 Oct 2016 #9
As someone who has used a gun in self defense, don't consider it unless you are 100% Marengo Oct 2016 #10
As an avid advocate of the RKBA I suggest you wait discntnt_irny_srcsm Oct 2016 #12
"...avoidance, deterrence, and de-escalation." This is key ^^^. Eleanors38 Oct 2016 #25
I don't think you have anything to worry about in regard to your own physical safety if Trump loses. -Steph- Oct 2016 #14
As a long-time gun owner, I wouldn't recommend buying a gun unless... Nitram Oct 2016 #20
I recommend a GSD. ileus Oct 2016 #22
whats a gsd? nt retrowire Oct 2016 #23
I would assume German Sheppard Dog Travis_0004 Oct 2016 #26
ehhh we got cats retrowire Oct 2016 #27
I would counsel against obtaining a firearm at this time... Eleanors38 Oct 2016 #24
The greatest predictor of being killed by a gun is having one in your home Warpy Oct 2016 #28
Don't stoop to their level mwrguy Oct 2016 #29
"Every gun sold is money in the pocket of the white-wing NRA." EX500rider Oct 2016 #30
That makes absolutely no sense what so ever. hack89 Oct 2016 #36
Message auto-removed Name removed Oct 2016 #31
Find a friend who is a shooting hobbyist. Nuclear Unicorn Oct 2016 #33
Get your head straight, then get a gun. SOUTHERNYANKEE75 Oct 2016 #34
Not the time to buy a gun tortoise1956 Oct 2016 #35
No gun DashOneBravo Oct 2016 #37
Dec 1969 #

20895DEM

(100 posts)
1. Don't buy a gun
Fri Oct 28, 2016, 10:03 AM
Oct 2016

Take the money and use it to find a professional to talk to about your concerns. It will help far more than any gun will.

Trumpers are not going to take up arms. They are like their God, just big talkers.

metroins

(2,550 posts)
3. Don't buy a gun
Fri Oct 28, 2016, 10:06 AM
Oct 2016

Suicide or domestic violence is a much more real scenario than being attacked.

Unless you live in a bad bad neighborhood, I would not purchase a gun if you have emotional stuff going on.

Avalux

(35,015 posts)
5. Let's look at what you can do to alleviate your anxiety.
Fri Oct 28, 2016, 10:11 AM
Oct 2016

You can get a big dog. You can also invest is a security system and surveillance cameras for your home. That's what I've done.

Will purchasing a gun ADD to your anxiety? If there's a concern it might not be safe to have one in the house then it's probably not worth it. The gun itself could end up being a major stressor.

Maybe give yourself a little bit of time in the new neighborhood until you've settled in before making a decision. Good luck.

blm

(113,010 posts)
6. Let the anxiety subside and rely on other home security methods.
Fri Oct 28, 2016, 10:14 AM
Oct 2016

You already had the answer that was right for you.

I have a sister with mental health problems - unlike you her disorders are severe. She can never be allowed near a gun. She would definitely be a danger to others, especially family.

 

Marengo

(3,477 posts)
13. If there isn't a comparison in the severity, why would you mention your sister?
Fri Oct 28, 2016, 11:44 AM
Oct 2016

How is it relevant?

blm

(113,010 posts)
15. So he knows that the reply comes from a source familiar with the various levels of
Fri Oct 28, 2016, 12:08 PM
Oct 2016

mental health concerns.

I encouraged his own voice on this because he had the answer.

Not sure why you would think my reply was anything different than what it is.

 

Marengo

(3,477 posts)
18. Simply because your reason for including the example of your sister was not clear...
Fri Oct 28, 2016, 12:34 PM
Oct 2016

Since, by your own admission, the severity is not comparable.

MADem

(135,425 posts)
32. You do realize that diagnosed mental health issues are not static?
Fri Oct 28, 2016, 07:28 PM
Oct 2016

They can wax and wane as a consequence of age, hormones, stress, family challenges, etc.

That's how it is "relevant."

Some related reading: http://www.everydayhealth.com/bipolar/webcasts/the-progression-of-bipolar-disorder.aspx

meadowlark5

(2,795 posts)
9. I don't think the Trumplodytes will revolt in numbers that average people need to barricade
Fri Oct 28, 2016, 11:07 AM
Oct 2016

themselves in their homes. I'm sure there will be some altright wingnuts that will try to do something but I highly doubt it's in the numbers that Steve Bannon and Alex Jones are salivating for.

I certainly wouldn't purchase a gun because of that fear. In the end, most of the Trumplodytes are all talk but cowards. Most won't risk their hides in a revolt.

 

Marengo

(3,477 posts)
10. As someone who has used a gun in self defense, don't consider it unless you are 100%
Fri Oct 28, 2016, 11:16 AM
Oct 2016

Ready and willing to take a fatal shot. Keeping a firearm, learning how to handle it safely and effectively, and knowing the laws concerning its use is a considerably responsibility not to be taken lightly. Chances are, you probably won't need it. Having been rather unlucky in that regard, I choose to include one in the "tool kit" so to speak, but it's a last resort. In my neighborhood, we watch out for each other as much as is possible and that very comforting. I'm not going to comment on your mental state, that's for you and your mental health care provider to determine.

discntnt_irny_srcsm

(18,476 posts)
12. As an avid advocate of the RKBA I suggest you wait
Fri Oct 28, 2016, 11:29 AM
Oct 2016

The responsible thing to do, in light of your status and that of your wife, is to check with some healthcare professionals for assessment, evaluation and recommendations regarding bipolar and borderline conditions. I infer from your tone, that the purchase is intended to be for self-defense. This is a major commitment. There are many considerations so don't be impulsive.

If your concern is internal security, you should make a basic safety assessment of your perimeter, property and home structure. Many things can be done to make a break in much more difficult.

If your planning to carry the gun off your property and around town there are several additional things to consider. Most states have training and proficiency requirements to obtain a permit. Also, consider that if you do get a permit and carry, your permit is not good nationwide. Laws vary from state to state and folks have gone to prison for that type of offense.

Let me say that I have doubts that sustained violence is unlikely after the GOP (great orange plague) loses. Hopefully you don't live in trump tower.

Basically, start with your primary care physician or primary mental health professional or principle counselor.

My favorite in the unofficial USMC list of rules for gun fighting #26: "Your number one Option for Personal Security is a lifelong commitment to avoidance, deterrence, and de-escalation." {http://www.snipercountry.com/articles/gunfightrules.asp}

-Steph-

(409 posts)
14. I don't think you have anything to worry about in regard to your own physical safety if Trump loses.
Fri Oct 28, 2016, 11:59 AM
Oct 2016

There might be a few nuts out there who try to do something foolish, but it's very unlikely that you would personally be a target.

If you're concerned because you're unfamiliar with your new neighborhood/neighbors, then I would suggest investing in a good security system. Ultimately, you'll probably be safer going that route than having a gun in your house.

Nitram

(22,765 posts)
20. As a long-time gun owner, I wouldn't recommend buying a gun unless...
Fri Oct 28, 2016, 01:18 PM
Oct 2016

...you are willing to put many many hours into training and practice. A gun in inexperienced hands can be a great danger to you and others.

retrowire

(10,345 posts)
27. ehhh we got cats
Fri Oct 28, 2016, 04:18 PM
Oct 2016

And I've loved the German shepherds I've met but I've read plenty about their hunting drive for fast small moving critters.

 

Eleanors38

(18,318 posts)
24. I would counsel against obtaining a firearm at this time...
Fri Oct 28, 2016, 03:53 PM
Oct 2016

If you have fears of lethal attack, it is wise to put your finger on that fear and see if it is reasonable. The spittle-flying radio blow of the far right is not much to go on. If there are active home invaders in your area, that is another matter. I won't worry about the political climate turning violent until it comes my way, and it hasn't. My self-defense measures include a revolver at close hand when I am at home. Even then, I don't request a B & E type to fill out a form profiling their politics before they attempt violent entry.

Warpy

(111,147 posts)
28. The greatest predictor of being killed by a gun is having one in your home
Fri Oct 28, 2016, 04:24 PM
Oct 2016

You're in a lot less danger from your neighbors than you think. I live in an inner city area called The War Zone and have done for 20 years and no one has pulled a gun on me here, unlike the couple of times it happened in "nice" areas. My neighbors just want to get through another day of work so they can feed their kids and I think you'll find your neighbors are exactly the same.

Relax, guns are overrated as home defense, anyway. Get a hatchet, a baseball bat, a big pipe wrench or some other item you can use at close range if some asshole does break in when you're home. A retired Marine DI once advised me that people are just not afraid of getting shot but that everybody is afraid of getting cut. I took that advice to heart and it has served me well.

EX500rider

(10,809 posts)
30. "Every gun sold is money in the pocket of the white-wing NRA."
Fri Oct 28, 2016, 05:46 PM
Oct 2016

How?
I bought my last handgun at a small table from a little vendor at a gunshow, I doubt he forwards any of that to the NRA..

hack89

(39,171 posts)
36. That makes absolutely no sense what so ever.
Sun Oct 30, 2016, 06:50 PM
Oct 2016

Did you even think for a second before posting that or was it pure reflex?

Response to retrowire (Original post)

Nuclear Unicorn

(19,497 posts)
33. Find a friend who is a shooting hobbyist.
Fri Oct 28, 2016, 07:30 PM
Oct 2016

Make sure they are responsible and safety minded, obviously.

Ask if they can spend the day with you showing the various parts of a pistol and how to use it. Familiarize yourself with those parts so that you can point to them without hesitation. Learn the rules of gun safety, i.e. always assume the weapon is loaded, never point it at anything you aren't prepared to shoot, finger off the trigger until you're ready to shoot, etc.

Then go to the range.

Make it a day of relaxation. Divorce your mind from the sense of mystery and danger associated with guns (but always mindful of safety) and focus on the principles of shooting: breath control, steadying yourself, good sight picture, relaxing the body, calming the mind.

It's kind of like golfing, if you think about it.

When you're done, thank your friend for the afternoon and go have a cookout.

Don't buy a gun.

That's how I learned to shoot and because of that I learned to respect guns instead of see them as a thing of killing.

 

SOUTHERNYANKEE75

(26 posts)
34. Get your head straight, then get a gun.
Fri Oct 28, 2016, 08:17 PM
Oct 2016

I've owned guns my whole life, they're a tool. They should be treated with the up most respect and not available to people with mental issues though IMO.

tortoise1956

(671 posts)
35. Not the time to buy a gun
Fri Oct 28, 2016, 11:19 PM
Oct 2016

If you are only getting a gun because of what MIGHT happen, and you haven't had one in the past, I would counsel against it. Look into other ways to quell your fears first, please. There are non-lethal deterrents, like pepper spray or a Taser. I also agree with getting an unbiased opinion from a mental health professional on other ways to work on these stressors.

If you are dead set on getting a gun, then at least go take a class on firearm safety before you do this. Better yet, go to a shooting range in your area that will rent guns, and spend a little money to shoot one. You may find that you don't like it. Talk to any friends you might have that already own guns, see what they say about it. Be prepared to practice with your firearm if you choose to buy one - otherwise, you're better off having a bat...

Finally, I really think your fears of insurrection are unfounded. I know that the Storm Trumpers can be scary, but I firmly believe that no matter what, most of them are Americans first. They love their country to much to risk tearing it apart. yes, there may be a small minority that would rather see it burn, but they are vastly outnumbered by those who support Trump mainly because they are scared of all the changes that are occurring today. Change is hard to deal with, and Murphy knows our whole lives seem to be in flux sometimes. I predict that after the election, things will settle back to normal - whatever the hell normal is nowadays...

DashOneBravo

(2,679 posts)
37. No gun
Mon Oct 31, 2016, 12:00 PM
Oct 2016

In addition to the suggestions above I add:

Come up with a self defense plan for you and your wife. Figure out what you are going to do if someone breaks in.

Find a room where you can wait until LEO's show up. Make sure it has the least amount of entry ways and you can secure it.

Keep a phone in there and anything you are going to use for self defense. You guys practice meeting there if you are separated in the house.

There are a bunch of non-leathal options for home defense. Personally I'm not going to kill someone for breaking in my house. Attacking a family member is a different story.

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