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Wed Oct 22, 2014, 10:07 AM

 

If you have some experience with beloved pets who have vanished without a trace

It has been almost a month since I last saw my best cat.
I have cried so much that I busted my eyeballs, and the
sadness still won't go away.
The other cats remind me of him. One is lonely and lost without his brother.
I don't know if he left willingly, on an adventure.
I don't know if he is lost, or dead, or anything at all.

I've done about everything I can do except drive up and
down every street of every block within a 15 mile radius
calling his name until I am hoarse.

I'm not looking for sympathy especially anything that will
make me start crying again. But if you have gone through
this, your insights are welcome. I do believe everything is
ok, somehow; but emotionally I'm not there yet. These

emotions have been so powerful, it must be triggering
something else, other losses. I keep dreaming that I see
him, or that he walks in the door. I keep thinking that
I hear his very distinct little meow. He is the gentlest,
sweetest, most zen sort of cat. I have thought maybe
there are too many cats here for his taste, and he took
off, to get some space. I wish I knew. I am so sad but
sometimes when I think of him it's just a beautiful vision.

This is a picture of a cat that looks exactly like him.
Somebody else's lost cat.


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Arrow 34 replies Author Time Post
Reply If you have some experience with beloved pets who have vanished without a trace (Original post)
Voice for Peace Oct 2014 OP
sinkingfeeling Oct 2014 #1
Voice for Peace Oct 2014 #9
shenmue Oct 2014 #2
ginnyinWI Oct 2014 #3
Voice for Peace Oct 2014 #4
Fix The Stupid Oct 2014 #5
Voice for Peace Oct 2014 #10
Voice for Peace Oct 2014 #14
catbyte Oct 2014 #6
Voice for Peace Oct 2014 #11
Freddie Oct 2014 #7
Voice for Peace Oct 2014 #12
mopinko Oct 2014 #8
Voice for Peace Oct 2014 #13
mopinko Oct 2014 #15
Voice for Peace Oct 2014 #17
mopinko Oct 2014 #16
Voice for Peace Oct 2014 #18
Granny M Oct 2014 #19
Voice for Peace Oct 2014 #20
ginnyinWI Oct 2014 #21
Voice for Peace Oct 2014 #22
theHandpuppet Oct 2014 #23
ginnyinWI Oct 2014 #27
Lodestar Oct 2014 #24
Voice for Peace Oct 2014 #25
Lodestar Oct 2014 #26
ginnyinWI Oct 2014 #28
Voice for Peace Oct 2014 #29
ginnyinWI Oct 2014 #30
Voice for Peace Oct 2014 #31
ginnyinWI Oct 2014 #32
MadrasT Nov 2014 #33
Voice for Peace Nov 2014 #34

Response to Voice for Peace (Original post)

Wed Oct 22, 2014, 10:29 AM

1. I've been there a few times. Once, the cat did return after 3 weeks. I

think she was locked in somebody's garage. I also looked for another to somehow follow me from Dallas to Arkansas. She had disappeared during the time people were delivering phone books and she was so friendly, I think someone took her. I kept hoping she would go home and find us moved and just show up months afterward.

It's really hard not ever knowing what happened to them.

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Response to sinkingfeeling (Reply #1)

Wed Oct 22, 2014, 10:35 PM

9. yep. :(

 

I am sorry you had this happen too but it helps
somehow to know other people get through.

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Response to Voice for Peace (Original post)

Wed Oct 22, 2014, 10:41 AM

2. ...



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Response to Voice for Peace (Original post)

Wed Oct 22, 2014, 01:21 PM

3. I have heard that they tend to hunker down.

Somewhere near the house. Like a kitten would if separated from his mother, just waiting to be found. Won't come when you call, though; their instinct is to stay quiet. A month is a long time, though. Hope he landed somewhere safe.

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Response to ginnyinWI (Reply #3)

Wed Oct 22, 2014, 01:49 PM

4. I'm sure I would have seen him by now if he were close.. he knows where the good food is.

 

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Response to Voice for Peace (Original post)

Wed Oct 22, 2014, 02:47 PM

5. I've been thru this...



All I can say is do NOT give up.

Once, my little Lucy (here are some pics:http://www.democraticunderground.com/?com=view_post&forum=1018&pid=680194) disappeared for 28 days.

28 days.

And I live in the boonies. 15 minutes to everywhere. I thought for sure she got attacked by coyotes or something. I put flyers up and stuffed them in peoples mailboxes, checked the shelters in my area - nothing.

Then 28 days to the day she went missing, I went out to my garden and out comes Miss Lou from underneath my pool deck...she was a little worse for the wear, but she was OK.

Wife and I went out for hours a day, calling her name repeatedly. We never gave up.

Do not give up. Have hope - they can and do come back after this long...

Good luck - wish you the best.

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Response to Fix The Stupid (Reply #5)

Wed Oct 22, 2014, 10:41 PM

10. thank you thank you thank you

 

I know it's a long shot but that's a sweet story.

I keep feeling him, as if he is on his way home.

But maybe he's just left his mortal coil. In which case
in my opinion he would be one with the Great Everything,
which is omnipresent. So either way he is close My
heart feels a little worn out, the rollercoaster of it.

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Response to Fix The Stupid (Reply #5)

Wed Oct 22, 2014, 11:12 PM

14. LUCY is so sweet

 

I will not give up

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Response to Voice for Peace (Original post)

Wed Oct 22, 2014, 07:22 PM

6. I lost my beloved tuxedo cat, JJ, in 2007. I had just moved and he escaped through a slit at the

bottom of a screen that was undetectable. I searched for weeks. It still haunts me. I microchipped all my cats after that, but it was too late for JJ. You have my sympathy and I hope your beautiful boy finds his way home to you.



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Response to catbyte (Reply #6)

Wed Oct 22, 2014, 10:57 PM

11. thank you, now you got me crying again though

 

The brother he left behind is a totally neurotic tuxedo
who cries constantly, and loudly. I can tell it is still
hard for you. But thank you for sharing that
with me, it helps.

Despite the painful trials, love and peace prevail.
I think it has something to do with acceptance. The
trees in the fall are a good reminder. Let go, and
it's beautiful. Life is magical and kind. I think of my kitty
in that regard. He has that. He was always in the
present. They come out all right.

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Response to Voice for Peace (Original post)

Wed Oct 22, 2014, 08:21 PM

7. Was he sick or very old?

My very first cat, Fred (my current Freddie is his namesake, both orange tabbies) was 18 and slowing down with old age. We lived in an old house then and weren't always careful about making sure the back door was latched, as Fred never even tried to go out. Until one summer day, at age 18, and we never found any trace of him. My late MIL, who was wise in the ways of cats, told us that when a cat knows he is dying he just wants to hide and be alone, and that's what Fred did. 20 years later I still miss him.

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Response to Freddie (Reply #7)

Wed Oct 22, 2014, 11:02 PM

12. aww Fred

 

now I miss him too.

My boy is about six and as far as I know super healthy.
And smart, not the kind of cat to be careless. Cautious,
and invisible in the night.

He was born on a farm. I don't think he likes being
harassed by other cats or trapped in a house with
them. So he may have found a nice farm.

I think your Fred went off and found a nice soft place
where he could smell all the wonderful smells, feel
the wind, and sleep.

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Response to Voice for Peace (Original post)

Wed Oct 22, 2014, 10:22 PM

8. it's been a year since kaya flew out the window.

 

http://www.democraticunderground.com/116113299

adopted another timneh grey, a sweet little fellow. but sometimes i just look at him and remember her. at least when you get a new dog or cat, they dont look EXACTLY like the last one.

it is hard not knowing. i feel like she must have found another home, but i dont know. not sure how someone could be that big of a jerk, but what do i know about such assholes.

and i second the idea that sometimes sick cats go off to die. i had a neighbor's sick kitty make the otherwise inexplicable decision to come into my yard and hide under my car. didnt end well. at least this kitty had a collar and i was able to find the owners and tell them, and return his body. that wasnt much fun, but i would have wanted someone to do that for me, rather than push it off onto animal control.

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Response to mopinko (Reply #8)

Wed Oct 22, 2014, 11:10 PM

13. I knew a wonderful African parrot and always wished I could have one

 

I'm sorry you lost her, maybe she had a grand adventure
and found a nice place in the country where all the lost
parrots gather. It's hard to be a human sometimes.
They are way more free than we are.



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Response to Voice for Peace (Reply #13)

Thu Oct 23, 2014, 11:58 AM

15. she heard nature's call.

 

she made 3 attempts to escape over a short period of time. i feel certain that her nature was talking to her. she was 15, by which time these parrots are settling down to raise a brood.

who knows, maybe she heard a fellow around the hood somewhere. maybe that is where she landed.

still miss her. 15 years is a long time to have a pet, and i was always sure i would have her all my life. nugget is a fine little boy, but it will take a long time for him to completely fill that hole. the scar will never leave.

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Response to mopinko (Reply #15)

Thu Oct 23, 2014, 02:23 PM

17. I hear you, it is a heartache.

 

Fifteen years is a really really long time to be loving a pet.
I talk to my other cats about the missing boy. It is hard
for me to feel any affection for most of them right now,
it almost seems like betrayal. He's the one I had the longest
even though it's only been about 6 years.

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Response to Voice for Peace (Original post)

Thu Oct 23, 2014, 12:04 PM

16. i still grieve for my first dog sometimes.

 

55 years, and i still remember laying on the floor watching teevee, using him for a pillow. i remember how he smelled.
i still remember him getting out of the car and walking in the house for the first time. i was 5, and he was a 100+ lb boxer. my dad promptly picked my up and set me on his back, and he took a walk around the living room, never even minding his little rider.

and i still remember the day that he taught my dad that spanking kids was wrong. a lesson he never forgot, tho we lost biff to cancer after only a few years. i was about to get it, and biff just took my dad's wrist in his big mouth, sat down, and told him with a look that that was not happening. apparently a look my dad never forgot.
that, oddly, is not a story i remembered clearly. it was told to my years later by my BIL.

yup, just like the people who come and go in our lives, some leave a hole that never fills.

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Response to mopinko (Reply #16)

Thu Oct 23, 2014, 02:27 PM

18. what a good story, thank you.

 

fifty five years is a long time.

When I was little I was, for lack of better term, dissociated
from my emotional self. Animals I loved came and went
but I never felt anything, or grieved, as I can recall. Now
it seems the grief of all those losses comes to the surface
all at once.

At least I can feel -- that is a miracle in itself.

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Response to Voice for Peace (Original post)

Thu Oct 23, 2014, 05:47 PM

19. It's happened to us twice.

Once a darling cat, and once a beloved labrador. We put up posters, walked miles looking for any sign of them, called the shelters daily. We got 2 phone calls from people who saw the dog's posters, but they only called to tell us that they had lost labs, too, and believed that they were actually stolen.

It's so awful to worry about whether they are hurt somewhere, or if someone has taken them and could be mistreating them. Eventually I was able to let go of both of them, but it took time. I'm sorry this has happened to you, and I hope for a happy ending. If it's not to be, I wish you peace. It will come eventually.

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Response to Granny M (Reply #19)

Thu Oct 23, 2014, 08:38 PM

20. thank you Granny. I'm sorry for your losses, too.

 

I had a call today from someone, a few miles down the road,
who'd seen a black cat hanging around, and my poster. I
drove over but it wasn't him. It was somebody else's lost
black kitty, so I suggested getting him checked for a chip.
I think she will. So I did a good deed anyway.
Racking up good kitty karma.

The terrible fearful thoughts always come out of some
fearful place in my brain. The sadness comes from my
heart, but so does the hope. And sometimes it feels
like he is everywhere.

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Response to Voice for Peace (Original post)

Wed Oct 29, 2014, 11:06 AM

21. an article with a happy ending

http://mobile.onmilwaukee.com/myOMC/authors/andytarnoff/jabiefound.html

Maybe something they did will give you an idea.

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Response to ginnyinWI (Reply #21)

Wed Oct 29, 2014, 11:50 AM

22. thank you.

 

Makes me think I should and can do more.

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Response to Voice for Peace (Original post)

Wed Oct 29, 2014, 08:31 PM

23. The photo of that cat you posted

We have been caring for a cat who looks exactly like that. We call her Lola. She's about 3 years old now and was a feral neighborhood cat that nearly died the year we had a horrible blizzard. I locked her in my studio where we fed her copious amounts of food, as she had nearly starved to death. Also got her shots and had her spayed. She adores people, is very quiet and mellow, gets along fine with the dogs, but we have had to make her live outside because she won't tolerate living with other cats. (I built quite a nice shelter for her, so it's not like she's simply wandering the streets.)

We've been searching desperately for an adoptive home for a couple of years now, to no avail. Everyone wants kittens. She does have a couple of health problems due to her rough early life on the streets -- almost all of her teeth are gone and she has a chronic cold. (We've had that checked out -- it's nothing communicable.)

If there's anyone in the DC/Baltimore/Hagerstown area who's willing to give this sweet girl a forever home, could you pm me?

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Response to theHandpuppet (Reply #23)

Thu Oct 30, 2014, 02:59 PM

27. some cats just want to be an "only child"

My Zelda also looks exactly like the OP posted. She has been raised since she was a kitten with a female brown tabby who is only a year older, but doesn't care to associate! She's a bit of a diva in our household.

She wants my lap for a few minutes in the evening, and a few ear rubs and chin scratches, and then she's off on her own playing or sleeping somewhere. She will tolerate the other cat and they can be fed together, etc. but otherwise she wants her space. She is an indoor cat, but between the garage and basement she has places to get her "alone" time.

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Response to Voice for Peace (Original post)

Thu Oct 30, 2014, 08:15 AM

24. It's just so hard not to know their fate.....to not have closure.

I've had this experience with both a dog and a cat and know how heartbreaking it is. I'm so sorry to hear about your sweetie. I've found that unless a storm or something scares them off (as happened to my dog), that males are more likely to go off on adventures. I've got a friend who lives in the country and has to also add coyotes to her list of pet concerns.

I've considered getting one of those gps tracking collars for my pets, but haven't done it for some reason.
Something about that just doesn't sit right with me....

http://www.amazon.com/Tagg-GPS-Pet-Tracker-Attachment/dp/B0077I42S4

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Response to Lodestar (Reply #24)

Thu Oct 30, 2014, 12:30 PM

25. thank you, I'd probably get the gps if I could afford it.. now that I've experienced this

 

and still don't know. One day I give up, I'm at peace that
he is gone, and that he is fine one way or another. The
next day (or minute) I'm wracked with worry and grief,
and thinking I should be out looking for him. But where?

He has a brother (not from same litter, but I got them
both as kittens). He's already a loud meower, to the
point of being annoying but now he walks through
the house howling, yowling.

And as gone as my cat probably is, I can also picture
him walking in the house one day, some day, saying
meow, and like, what? what's the big deal?

I hope he is either having a nice adventure and
finding good people to feed him, or he is gone
altogether. The middle options are what tear me
up in my gut.

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Response to Voice for Peace (Reply #25)

Thu Oct 30, 2014, 01:00 PM

26. (((hugs))) I know..... so hard to let go. n/t

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Response to Voice for Peace (Reply #25)

Thu Oct 30, 2014, 03:10 PM

28. if he got into a shelter--

--well I can only speak about the system I volunteer with. He'd be put on stray hold for a certain amount of time, then be put up for adoption (mine is a no-kill shelter so that's not an option). Or he could be transported to another shelter nearby which has room. You'd want to call your local shelters about him, and then find out if they have transferred any black male cats out to somewhere else. since it has been so long, he may well have been adopted by someone, but they should have records.

Maybe you have done this already. Just brainstorming.

The most difficult scenario would be if someone took him into their home and kept him indoors and did not call anyone to inquire about a lost cat. Then nobody would be seeing him or know he was there. That's where flyers might help. Not everyone notices posters.

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Response to ginnyinWI (Reply #28)

Thu Oct 30, 2014, 05:22 PM

29. I've just assumed they would check for a microchip.

 

I will keep brainstorming, it is gutchurning.

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Response to Voice for Peace (Reply #29)

Thu Oct 30, 2014, 07:58 PM

30. Oh I didn't realize he was chipped.

In that case you can relax about that possibility.

Is he very friendly to strangers? In that case I'm going with the theory that he's in someone's home. I've read stories where the cat was taken in and kept and never scanned for a chip until much later. An older person might not know anything about microchips.

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Response to ginnyinWI (Reply #30)

Thu Oct 30, 2014, 08:43 PM

31. he's a really sweet and gentle cat. I've decided to start the search anew

 

even if I don't find him I'll feel better trying.

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Response to Voice for Peace (Reply #31)

Fri Oct 31, 2014, 01:11 AM

32. good idea

I think I would too--and it would make me feel better. Hopefully this thread has given you some hope.

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Response to Voice for Peace (Original post)

Sat Nov 1, 2014, 07:51 PM

33. I am so sorry you are going through this.

It happened to my best friend - he adopted a kitten I had fostered - when the cat was about 7 or 8. To this day we don't know what happened. It is really hard.

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Response to MadrasT (Reply #33)

Sat Nov 1, 2014, 10:19 PM

34. thank you, these messages on DU have helped.

 

I've started walking around again with some posters.
Thinking of covering a one mile square, street by street.
Maybe somebody knows something.

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