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Fri Jun 14, 2013, 04:21 PM

Family reunion held hostage for two weeks by bad caregivers.

I have not posted here for some time, due to preoccupation with parental care situation. Last I posted here about this I heard in California that my developing-alzheimer's father had pulled a gun on his caregiver, the whole situation was bad here, but I had no idea of the horrible nightmare I walked right into.
Boy was I in for a rude shock. Soon as I arrived, local law enforcement was called with my observations. The so-called "caregivers" have held my parents in total fear for their very health and lives for over three months. The "caregivers" were not who I expected to be here, the previous "good" caregiver had been replaced by two terrorists. After 92 years of early to bed, early to rise, the new rules were not to bother the caregivers for anything, remained shut in their bedroom watching television and drinking alcohol. Loud music and television until 2 or 3 a.m. was the new rule of the day. Physical threats came any time they were "disturbed" before noon. Their solution to getting the caregiving out of the way was to keep admitting both my parents to local hospitals, after distressing them so badly they needed it. I was threatened by the male caregiver, promising to "rearrange my face" if I reported what was going on here.
I finally made conditions unbearable for these creeps, and yesterday.... thank god... they finally left, over two weeks after they were fired. Local law enforcement was supportive but unhelpful, only advised to seek legal eviction and stay out of their way. which we did.
So my 92 year old father was afraid of entering his own home for weeks surrounding the gun incident, but I certainly saw why he pulled the gun (only remaining clandestine firearm in the home, now removed). He just wanted these terrorist crazies out of his home the only way he knew how!
Lawyer appointment pending. I left a good job working with Stanford medical teams and drove over 1300 miles here for this? I must be crazy, or as some call it, "the good son".
The "caregivers" did no housekeeping whatsoever, only emerged to throw trash in the hallway and pile the sink with dirty dishes. I have removed thousands of cobwebs, tons of grime everywhere, untold mounds of dust and bunnies. Lets not discuss the mouse turds in the kitchen, poison out, cat adoption coming.
Got mom out of the hospital soon as these knuckleheads were gone. This did my PTSD no favors. I'm partially disabled and find their care difficult but do-able. We are all shell shocked now. I was trying to contact various charity services to help to no avail, no one showed up at all.
Anyone have suggestions for me? I was thinking about writing habitat for humanity about rewiring/rennovating this 103 year old home before it burns down. My hands are full.... I've had to interrrupt this four times to gopher something for them. I'm not sure where else to turn for help right now.

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Reply Family reunion held hostage for two weeks by bad caregivers. (Original post)
nightscanner59 Jun 2013 OP
Locut0s Jun 2013 #1
kickysnana Jun 2013 #2

Response to nightscanner59 (Original post)

Fri Jun 14, 2013, 06:29 PM

1. Wow that's horrible, like something our of a movie...

I've heard stories of terrible caregivers but yours takes the cake. That's like something out of a horror movie. I'd be WAY out of my depth so I can't saw I can offer much help, sorry. I'd certainly pursue legal action though as what they did was criminal. Maybe you can get some form of monetary settlement. Hopefully others here can be of more help with suggestions, you have my deepest sympathies.

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Response to nightscanner59 (Original post)

Fri Jun 14, 2013, 09:12 PM

2. From one disabled Caregiver to another



Most states, communities and Churches have outreach. Old friends or neighbors? Other relatives? You may need to press charges against said "caregivers" and have some documentation from police, hospital etc so you can spread the word and again get help. My Dad went through a evaluation following a driving incident to decide if he could drive and live alone required by the state but paid for by Medicare. You may need a reevaluation due to PTSD for both your parents. I am so sorry.

I have respite help and one good PCA who had been rock solid for months slid into drug addiction and became verbally abusive and finally stole from us in a short period of time and I live here so it can happen even if you don't live far away so don't feel guilty about that. You came in time.

Wish I could be more hands on help. Remember to take care of yourself too.

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