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Sat Apr 11, 2020, 04:48 PM

I'm scared and having some kinda awful thoughts...

I have to go to the store again. We've been eeking by on weekly child support and a couple gigs freelancing, but nothing to really get us ahead. So that means I CAN'T do the big shop and stock up for weeks...

Every time I have to go anywhere I am taking life in hand and it's wearing on my sense of safety/sanity.

I just had a thought that I'd better work on getting my room and house cleaned, because if I get sick and die I don't want my kids to have to deal with that.
I'm only 50 and my kids are teens...

...But here I am thinking about what happens if I get sick...who's gonna clean up after I'm gone?

I don't have a mask, just a tightweave scarf I wrap around me. I did manage to get gloves. we have no sanitizer left.
I'm not that good at cleaning...I try to leave my shoes outside and wash hands when I get home.
The washer broke a bit before this happened, so Im worried about clothing.

UGH
I am usually not this paranoid, and my kids are definitely not open for talking to about this. Im also immune compromised to a little fear goes a long way.

thought that maybe posting here would help.


19 replies, 636 views

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Arrow 19 replies Author Time Post
Reply I'm scared and having some kinda awful thoughts... (Original post)
FirstLight Apr 11 OP
DarthDem Apr 11 #1
FirstLight Apr 11 #2
Salviati Apr 11 #7
FirstLight Apr 11 #17
DarthDem Apr 11 #18
cwydro Apr 12 #19
questionseverything Apr 11 #3
Newest Reality Apr 11 #4
FirstLight Apr 11 #8
Newest Reality Apr 11 #10
FirstLight Apr 11 #15
CaptYossarian Apr 11 #5
FirstLight Apr 11 #9
CaptYossarian Apr 11 #16
in2herbs Apr 11 #6
FirstLight Apr 11 #13
The Velveteen Ocelot Apr 11 #11
FirstLight Apr 11 #14
jimfields33 Apr 11 #12

Response to FirstLight (Original post)

Sat Apr 11, 2020, 04:53 PM

1. Sorry to hear this

I'm sorry to hear about your tough time. Can you get the washer fixed? (By someone who wears a mask, sanitizes, etc.) That seems like an important and helpful way of taking control.

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Response to DarthDem (Reply #1)

Sat Apr 11, 2020, 04:56 PM

2. not when every penny is buying food or gas...

I am desperately waiting for the stimulus check, just to pay utilities.

(Was on disability then never really got back up to working enough, was about to start offering some classes then we had to cancel cuz of this. and finding any kind of "real" job is not happening now)







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Response to FirstLight (Reply #2)

Sat Apr 11, 2020, 05:07 PM

7. What's wrong with the washer?

If it's having trouble recognizing that the lid is closed, so that the spin cycle doesn't start up that is often a really easy fix. That happened with mine not that long ago, and I was able to fix it by myself with just a zip tie, without having to really take much apart.

If there's more wrong than that, it might not be such a simple fix, but this is one thing that often goes wrong that is actually surprisingly easy to fix.

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Response to Salviati (Reply #7)

Sat Apr 11, 2020, 05:45 PM

17. Oh no...it's shot...

We already stuck it in the garage...it was super old and wonky.

I have another one from my old house...just need it checked and then installed... maybe I can swing it with stimulus 💰

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Response to FirstLight (Reply #17)

Sat Apr 11, 2020, 06:11 PM

18. There you go

You might be able to install it yourself. And remember, this too shall pass! Without a doubt.

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Response to DarthDem (Reply #18)

Sun Apr 12, 2020, 05:15 PM

19. Yes, very easy to install a washer.

Iíve done it many times, and really itís as simple as hooking up hoses.

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Response to FirstLight (Original post)

Sat Apr 11, 2020, 05:00 PM

3. this too will pass

sorry you are feeling down but there are better days ahead, do not give up




if you live with teenagers you are tougher than you realize!

you can wash clothes in a sink or the tub,,,string a clothes line first and don't do too many items at once

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Response to FirstLight (Original post)

Sat Apr 11, 2020, 05:03 PM

4. Awww.

I understand. This is a stressful time for so many.

You do need your focus to be useful and you want to use your energy wisely, right?

I am going to bet that you have been through times in the past that were very difficult and seemingly insurmountable, and, despite that, you made it through to, "whew!" If so, then remember that in order to resurrect that sense of managing and coping with what's at hand right now. You can make it now. This is different, but deep within, there is a strong instinct to get through it and it is always there for you to draw on.

Of course, you know that cooler heads prevail and that your pragmatism and spunk will help those around you, especially those who need you. We are not playing toxic positivity or false optimism here, that's no very useful really. No, its about the personal tenacity you have and how cooperating with that will calm you, reassure you and most of all, make your efforts count more because you are able to be responsive and precise, step-by-step.

What is happening is happening. This is how this is. Nothing, right now, changes the immediate moment, so acceptance in that sense gives you a better mooring and sense of balance and conviction. When you start to worry about the future of things, remember that your mind is just trying to control what's going on for survival and it plays various scenarios out as if that always works. Hey, it's about survival, right? Thing is, in our complex world where flight or fight or freeze are difficult to even apply to this, that old strategy can just bring more anxiety, fear and panic, none of which may be helpful if they dominate your mind and stress you out, right?

It's not a bad idea to go with, what has happened, has happened. What is happening now is what's happening. What will happen, will happen. Relax with that idea as a way to take a break and take a few, slow and deep breaths. Some call it Amor Fati, or love of one's fate, or simply being or even, resolution. Right here and right now. This. Notice.

Try to stay with what is going on now. Notice when you are going into worry/survival/scenario mode, (all the what ifs). Know that you can choose to indulge in them or maybe, interrupt by doing something else or attending to something more immediate and useful.

I don't know, maybe that will assist you there. I do think your ability to rely on your own inner resources will be a valuable resource for others if you can center on that, and that will uplift you, as well.

Be Well.

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Response to Newest Reality (Reply #4)

Sat Apr 11, 2020, 05:18 PM

8. Well said

I know that better days are coming, even tomorrow I could feel differently...
And yes, I have also been through worse and survived.

Thanks, I suppose just talking about it helps


Deep breaths 😉💪

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Response to FirstLight (Reply #8)

Sat Apr 11, 2020, 05:27 PM

10. Yes!

You bet. I am glad you shared that with us. It does help. The ol' "getting it off your chest" can be helpful.

Life has its cycles and we ride along, surfing the waves.

Oh, and as you may know, the air is much clearer and cleaner to breath in the Great Pause we are having, so enjoy the sweet smell and freshness of that as you breathe. I do.

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Response to Newest Reality (Reply #10)

Sat Apr 11, 2020, 05:43 PM

15. Also...saw first butterflies on the way today...

Gotta find joy where we are...

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Response to FirstLight (Original post)

Sat Apr 11, 2020, 05:03 PM

5. Every syllable in your post is justifiable.

You aren't being irrational. Instead, you're being very rational and cautious.

You have teens, but you don't give precise ages. My 16-year old is now driving and is a tremendous shopper. Can one of your kids go in your place? Maybe if they had a list, they could go inside while you stayed in the car. I'm sure they have a phone permanently stuck to their ear. If they have any questions, you could talk them through deals, expiration dates, etc. from the car.

We're all nervous at this time. The ones who aren't taking the virus seriously will add to the statistics. You're too smart and responsible to meet the same fate as those folks.

Stay safe and healthy. For you and your family.

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Response to CaptYossarian (Reply #5)

Sat Apr 11, 2020, 05:19 PM

9. Neither of them has a license

17 & 18

My daughter can go in if I give her a list...

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Response to FirstLight (Reply #9)

Sat Apr 11, 2020, 05:44 PM

16. Well, that's one thing in your favor.

I read another response suggesting you wash your clothes in the sink. Yes, do stay out of laundromats. Even the "clean" ones are dirty--and full of bacteria and other yucky stuff.

An excellent resource for you would be a relative/friend/neighbor who survived during the 1930s, when the economy was just like today's. They knew tricks about cleaning with baking soda & vinegar and how to stretch food dollars--all handy for these times.

We're all in this together. You're never alone.

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Response to FirstLight (Original post)

Sat Apr 11, 2020, 05:06 PM

6. What is scarier the known or unknown? IMO you and your children should have a talk about COVID

and what happens if it hits your family. There are plenty of science-based videos out there to help the discussion. Good luck.

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Response to in2herbs (Reply #6)

Sat Apr 11, 2020, 05:39 PM

13. They both have very different attitudes

My 18 yr old lives across town and feels like if it hits her oh well...

My 17 yr old lives at home and refuses to hear anything about it.... like I can't even talk on the phone without him asking me to leave the room

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Response to FirstLight (Original post)

Sat Apr 11, 2020, 05:34 PM

11. You might find this article somewhat reassuring:

A tiny number of virus organisms placed in the back of a personís throat one time is not likely to lead to the average person getting ďsickĒ with COVID. If we placed a tiny number of live viruses in the throats of 1,000 people, less than half would probably get sick. If we placed 1,000 or 1,000,000 viral organisms, the average person probably would get sick. And if we placed a tiny number of organisms 10 or 100 times in a week, the average person would also likely get sick because of the multiple exposures. This is because even in your throat, your body has protective countermeasures such as mucus and cilia and your blood and other fluids likewise have generic immune and other protections. They are just not as strong as we need them to be. Even as people get and recover from COVID or get a future vaccine, 100% of the population won't be 100% protected, but collectively we will be safe.

Your nose reduces the risk of viral particles getting to your throat. A mask reduces the risk of the viral particles getting to your nose, and social distancing reduces the risk of them getting to your mask. Together, these countermeasures work very well. If your nose reduces the risk by 80% (see Caveat 1), and a mask by another 80% and the six foot distance by 80% more, then collectively, the failure rate would be (0.2*0.2*0.2 = .008) = 0.8%. In other words, the collection of countermeasures would be (1 minus the failure rate) = over 99% effective in reducing your chances of getting sick. In this example, any two together would be 96% effective and any one alone would be 80% effective.

So based on this example calculation, if you are standing with your mouth closed and normally breathing close to a COVID carrier as they are speaking to you, you may have a 20% chance of getting sick from that exposure. Add a mask and that would go down to 4%, add distance and that goes to under 1%. Add repeated individual exposures from other people, and your risk gets worse. Add more countermeasures and your safety improves. The power of each individual countermeasure is much less important than their collective power in protecting you.
Much more here: https://www.linkedin.com/content-guest/article/saving-your-health-one-mask-time-peter-tippett-md-phd

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Response to The Velveteen Ocelot (Reply #11)

Sat Apr 11, 2020, 05:41 PM

14. Good stuff!

I figured that something is better than nothing

Also, sent my daughter inside, I'm in the car

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Response to FirstLight (Original post)

Sat Apr 11, 2020, 05:36 PM

12. Go to the store 30 minutes before closing

Typically itís empty and you can get in and out quickly. Worst hours to go is open to 1 pm.

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