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Tab

(11,093 posts)
Sat Mar 5, 2016, 03:23 PM Mar 2016

It's enough to drive you nuts

<rant>
Everyone has an opinion on my health. Not so much here at DU, where at least in these forums everyone's tolerant and accepting of taking it day by day but keeping an eye on it, but among friends and family and ex-family and...

From the hospice nurse, she's convinced I won't be around 6+ months from now. I give her some credence because she's seen my condition in others other times, and maybe she's a straight-shooter, but it threw us for a loop. Up until now, no one wanted to to give me an expiration date... Now everyone's fixated on it.

From my ex-wife, who has her own medical (and other) issues, who insists if I just put totally healthy food in my body and maybe smoke the right kind of therapeutic cannabis, I can put this into remission (I have stage IV cancer, already spread to lungs and adrenals, and not sure where else (no scans for nearly a year) then I can live another 20 years...

To one of my car mechanics, who relates a story he heard from a "close friend" or something who tried some particular vitamin and it made him cancer free.... he's good with my old british car, but I'm not so sure about my current American body condition.

It seems <whining> that people that don't know the health condition status are just convinced that if I just tried this vitamin or that berry then everything will be okay. How do they know? I've seen the scans and stuff. I don't want to disbelieve, but I don't really believe any of that stuff is going to buy me remission - they'll only buy me the mental image of potential remission.</whining> And I don't want to say it doesn't work for anyone, just that I think I'm personally past the point where eating the right vegetable is going to fix me. Maybe if I ate the right vegetables 40 years ago, but not now.

What also pisses me off <pissoff> is people who post on goFundMe - and I don't know of anyone here, and if so, I would evaluate that separately - but say "Oh, I have stage 0 cancer and can you fund a trip to this spa in Italy that will make me better?". I mean, c'mon. </pissoff>

Anyway, that's my rant for today.
</rant>

9 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
Highlight: NoneDon't highlight anything 5 newestHighlight 5 most recent replies
It's enough to drive you nuts (Original Post) Tab Mar 2016 OP
Rant all you want, my dear Tab... CaliforniaPeggy Mar 2016 #1
I know they're trying to help Tab Mar 2016 #3
I agree with CP, rant away. I wish things were different, but we'll be thinking about you. Hoyt Mar 2016 #2
This should help. Eat several plates of onion rings each day. alfredo Mar 2016 #4
I understand what you mean BuelahWitch Mar 2016 #5
OMG!!! You could have cancer tonight!!! Tab Mar 2016 #6
Good rant. Solly Mack Mar 2016 #7
Yeah, I've told a few people I entered hospice Tab Mar 2016 #8
Great rant, Tab. Glad to see you post it. sinkingfeeling Mar 2016 #9

CaliforniaPeggy

(152,246 posts)
1. Rant all you want, my dear Tab...
Sat Mar 5, 2016, 03:34 PM
Mar 2016

If it helps, do it!

It could be that all these good people are trying to help, and at the same time, they're trying to keep from regretting not having said "something" that might have helped you. You know, if only I had said such and such!

They want to know that EVERY stone has been turned over so that you didn't miss any possible treatments.

You didn't.

Take care of yourself, and that includes the mental!

I'd call, but I need to keep the phone line open for Verizon. My email's not working and it's complicated. They promised to call........sometime in the next couple of hours, today or tomorrow.

Tab

(11,093 posts)
3. I know they're trying to help
Sat Mar 5, 2016, 03:45 PM
Mar 2016

And they don't want to leave any stone unturned. But sometimes they're so frickin' insistent, and upset when I don't try their suggestions.

Some of this is just physical and your body gets away from you. I'm thinking of Steve Jobs, who tried all natural treatments and probably who knows what exotic what, only to find out at the end that he needed real chemical (chemo) help, but it was pretty too late at that point.

I've done years of chemo. I'm done. It has gotten to the point that I can't tolerate it, or function with it, and I've been better now without it, but that doesn't mean it didn't work. I believe it did. I just think I ran the tolerable gamut, which is all I could manage. But I don't think a diet of acai berries or antioxidants or whatever will make any significant difference at this point.

I'm not female, but I imagine what first-pregnancy women go through in terms of unsolicited advice isn't radically different. Everyone means well, but the next time you meet them, it's "did you try the vitamin B-12/kale juice/grapefruit diet I suggested? No? Why not?"

I don't have to justify my decisions. I'm accepting of suggestions, but let's leave it there.

Sorry, just in a pissy mood today.

alfredo

(60,146 posts)
4. This should help. Eat several plates of onion rings each day.
Sat Mar 5, 2016, 08:40 PM
Mar 2016

That way you can protect yourself with an eye watering cloud of putrid vapors. Once they stop gagging, you can tell them it is a special "secret herbal cure" that is doing wonders.

BuelahWitch

(9,083 posts)
5. I understand what you mean
Sun Mar 6, 2016, 10:25 AM
Mar 2016

A friend of mine (who is a nurse) just about flipped out when I wanted to buy some microwave popcorn and said it was the worst thing I could eat. I said to her, "For God's sake, I'm already dying! If I want a snack to enjoy who cares if it's good for me or not?" Besides, it can't be much worse than the swill they feed us at "the home."
Since it was my money, I bought the popcorn.

Tab

(11,093 posts)
6. OMG!!! You could have cancer tonight!!!
Sun Mar 6, 2016, 03:34 PM
Mar 2016

Oddly enough, I avoided fried foods most of my adult life figuring they were a health risk. Now that I don't need to worry about food's influence (although I still try to eat healthily) the one time I give myself permission to have salami or onion rings or something decadant is finally at a point where I can't tolerate it anyway

I wouldn't say no to a cheesecake, though.

Solly Mack

(92,921 posts)
7. Good rant.
Sun Mar 6, 2016, 05:42 PM
Mar 2016

I'd rather the straight up than the "I know someone who knows someone who did this..." positive spin that helps the person telling the story feel better about it all.

That said, I don't want anyone fixated on a date either. Even if I have only 6 months, I'd rather try and live those months than for people to sit around ticking off my time.

When I was first diagnosed I had to remind a few people that I was still me and to stop with the long faces and hushed tones.

Tab

(11,093 posts)
8. Yeah, I've told a few people I entered hospice
Sun Mar 6, 2016, 05:51 PM
Mar 2016

just thinking it was part of the process, but magically now everyone (and not that I'm not appreciative) wants to travel to my door even though I'm not on my deathbed (but that's what people think). And frankly I'm thankfully people even care to do that much.

I'm still pretty damn functional. Not as much as a year ago, but still functional. I can drive, go to the store, take the trash out, fix the furnace (today's project - still smelling of diesel fuel) and so forth. Not as fast as before - it's clear I'm slowing down - but neither am I keeling over tomorrow, AFAIK.

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