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Fri Aug 23, 2019, 05:18 AM

I could drink today rambling I'm brand knew at sobriety

Day 12 I think no beer gonna get boys off school. And head to recovery house for meetings, 0600-2200 a meeting every hour. Four day work week still recovering from this sciatica, I dropped the naltrexone for booze. Because of the pain medicine I was taking, I had eight months no alcohol and then I drank. And I have made a meeting everyday since I got drunk.

I am thinking you know I had eight months sober maybe I should start naltrexone again. I had eight months and alcoholism is a disease, I met this guy 26 years sober we have talked outside of meetings. Perhaps he will end up being my sponsor he gave me his cell number and he said 24/7 anytime you contact me.

Triggers WTF I woke up made coffee and headed out on back porch steady rain. And I started thinking a beer would taste good.

Another trigger is being tired

Or winter time when it snows yup snow, and itís not that snow stresses me out well it does. Well it does when I drive truck in it ice works me. Sucking that driver seat up my rectum at times.

No snow and rain reminds me leg land mech infantry in army west Germany out in field sitting in a M-113 as kid drinking beers in the field on downtime. We were moving on maybe very little sleep a day Times 36 hour days.

I have to figure this out so Iím not crying and asking no sympathy just doing something before I hit meetings. I text dude from meetings so weíre gonna meet 0800 at recovery house. Iím thinking Iím gonna hang until my wife is done at noon today pick her up. Maybe do lunch then go fishing with our boys this evening after school. I just sit and listen to these men and women I donít talk but I wanna be like them sober with this affliction.

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Arrow 12 replies Author Time Post
Reply I could drink today rambling I'm brand knew at sobriety (Original post)
TEB Aug 23 OP
tazkcmo Aug 23 #1
irisblue Aug 23 #2
LividModerate Aug 23 #3
3Hotdogs Aug 23 #7
magicarpet Aug 23 #4
Afromania Aug 23 #5
safeinOhio Aug 23 #6
cyclonefence Aug 23 #8
Cracklin Charlie Aug 23 #9
Atticus Aug 23 #10
dawg day Aug 23 #11
Phoenix61 Aug 23 #12

Response to TEB (Original post)

Fri Aug 23, 2019, 05:29 AM

1. You can do this.

But best of luck anyway. Eleven years for me. Funny thing Teb, I quit drinking and suddenly I had money! Lol! Hang in there, and drive on!

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Response to TEB (Original post)

Fri Aug 23, 2019, 05:40 AM

2. (((((TEB)))))

Brother mine

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Response to TEB (Original post)

Fri Aug 23, 2019, 06:12 AM

3. Keep coming back!

Your last sentence reminded me of what I felt like 13 years ago. Since then I often reflect that was the only thing that I did right in early sobriety. It's tough but if you really want it, you'll get it.

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Response to LividModerate (Reply #3)

Fri Aug 23, 2019, 06:34 AM

7. You want it, so you will get through it.

Its a goal. Keep your thoughts on what the end of the day will be like because you don't go for that beer.

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Response to TEB (Original post)

Fri Aug 23, 2019, 06:15 AM

4. Bless you,..

Your family needs you,...
We are your distant family here too.

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Response to TEB (Original post)

Fri Aug 23, 2019, 06:25 AM

5. You can do it man!

Somebody really close to me had battles with alcohol and I just wanted to give send some encouragement. When overly stressed and/or tired he'd say "you know, I really want to drink right now..... but I'm not.." Anyway, again, just wanted to say you can do it.

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Response to TEB (Original post)

Fri Aug 23, 2019, 06:31 AM

6. Good luck.

Went to rehab for coke in 1990 and have never touched it again. I owe it all to my shrink, a great guy that helped me find the pain I was trying to kill. Had never faced what had happened to me when I wall 11 years old. I had not even thought about it for a long time. It was still there until I dealt with it.

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Response to TEB (Original post)

Fri Aug 23, 2019, 06:56 AM

8. Know that you have people here

who love you and are pulling for you, TEB. No sympathy, just love.

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Response to TEB (Original post)

Fri Aug 23, 2019, 07:01 AM

9. You can do this, friend!

You have an excellent support system, of both the two and four legged varieties. They want this for you.

Let them help.

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Response to TEB (Original post)

Fri Aug 23, 2019, 08:01 AM

10. Not sure that I should respond since I am not an alcoholic, but I am the son

of an alcoholic.

You mentioned your boys. I can tell you that I have nothing but respect and admiration for my Dad and the HELL he went through in the early 60's when he started the first AA group in our rural county. Back then, "alcoholism is a disease" was viewed as a lame excuse for moral failure. To most, Dad was not an alcoholic; he was "that damned drunk".

He was shunned by some of his old drinking buddies because they said he thought he was "too good" to get drunk with them. Eventually, some showed up at AA meetings.

I've read my share of "Grapevines" and recall one bit of advice that I read in one over 50 years ago: "When a person gets run over by a train, it is the FIRST car that kills them."
It is all about avoiding that one first drink and "one day at a time".

You can---will---beat this and one day, your boys will measure courage by your example.

(I love you, Dad.)

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Response to TEB (Original post)

Fri Aug 23, 2019, 08:25 AM

11. Naltrexone is a good option, sounds like

We should consider that if addiction can be treated that way, by blocking "urges" biochemically, it indicates this is not about character flaws but more brain chemistry and physiology.

You are being very strong! Let us know how you are doing.

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Response to TEB (Original post)

Fri Aug 23, 2019, 10:28 AM

12. Hang in there.

Sounds like a sponsor showed up right when you could use one. Sometimes just talking to someone helps me figure stuff out. I think itís the putting things into words thatís makes things clearer for me.

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