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Wed Jul 17, 2019, 01:52 PM

Well, this Saturday is going to be a challenge

We're going to a friend's cottage for the afternoon and evening. It's a total booze fest and in the past, I've gotten rip-roaring drunk. We've been going there for something like 30 years. This will be the first time I'm going sober. I'm going to tell my wife that if I feel uncomfortable, we need to cut out. However, we're bringing her mother, so we won't be able to leave too early.

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Response to bif (Original post)

Wed Jul 17, 2019, 01:56 PM

1. Long time sober here...you can do it....one minute at a time.😀

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Response to bif (Original post)

Wed Jul 17, 2019, 02:07 PM

2. Like virgogal said

You Can Do It! Twenty six and a half years sober, and I loved the booze...too much. Best to you bif!

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Response to bif (Original post)

Wed Jul 17, 2019, 02:13 PM

3. If you need to, step away & write us. Some one will be around

Does MIL know you are working on sobriety? Is she supportive? Can someone else bring her home?

And, what is in your glass, that's your business.


My first sober Holiday party, I was very suprised at how people moved & walked under the influence.

We got you brother

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Response to bif (Original post)

Wed Jul 17, 2019, 02:13 PM

4. Do you have a fellow-recovering pal you can put on "phone alert"?

It helps me now and again to have someone who "gets it" to make a quick phone call to, and triage my level of "uncomfortable/resentful".

Can your wife and her mother go in one car, and you in another so you can cut out when YOU need to?

Your sobriety COMES FIRST.

It has to.

helpfully,
Bright

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Response to bif (Original post)

Wed Jul 17, 2019, 02:42 PM

5. It's over in Canada and a good hour drive.

And my MIL doesn't drive any more, so we can't really take two cars. And they're her old friends, so she may want to stay later than I do. Just have to make it work.

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Response to bif (Reply #5)

Wed Jul 17, 2019, 03:32 PM

6. See if she can't pack an overnight case. Some things are more important ...

than a perceived slight. She knows your struggle, she has to understand. This is a time you need to be 'selfish'.

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Response to bif (Original post)

Wed Jul 17, 2019, 03:41 PM

7. bring two cars.. good luck.

Sorry, just saw your previous post. Good luck anyway. Every day's a new challenge.

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Response to bif (Original post)

Wed Jul 17, 2019, 07:17 PM

8. You can do it. I think you'll find you have a better time

Than in years past when you stay sober. Don't be afraid to use the forum here to get support live while you're there. I'm on the site most weekends from my phone. <or> as an up-post mentioned, take some sober friends' numbers w you.

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Response to bif (Original post)

Fri Jul 19, 2019, 12:03 AM

9. What I was always advised was to take a sober friend and have an escape plan

If you're uncomfortable and need to leave. I'm guessing your friend knows you're in recovery, but another thing I've found helpful is to have a glass/cup in your hand - coffee, soda, whatever you drink - so those who don't know are unlikely to offer you anything. Good luck and remember to breathe...

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Response to bif (Original post)

Sat Jul 20, 2019, 07:54 PM

10. Bif, check in when you can

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Response to bif (Original post)

Sun Jul 21, 2019, 12:02 PM

11. I made it through unscathed

Of course, we stayed later than I wanted and had to drive down unlight, 2-lane roads at night, which I hate. But I didn't drink at all. However, I must admit, I didn't have a great time. It really was a lot more fun back when I was drinking. But this is my new life, and I just have to make the best of it. Thanks for all your supportive words/comments.

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