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Thu Jun 13, 2019, 05:24 PM

Update on - Are you literally f*cking kidding me?

Last edited Tue Jun 18, 2019, 05:42 PM - Edit history (1)

Original Post here: https://www.democraticunderground.com/113912803

Today I had an open and frank discussion with the Managing Director about the toxic male culture within the business and outlined my expectations of the changes that need to be made. I was frank (maybe too frank) about how he manages the business and implicitly allows aggressive behaviours from the executive team. I had spoken to my colleagues on the executive team before this meeting to outline my concerns. One chap giggled like a fucking five year old, another recognised my concerns but basically told me he was not going to change.

The upshot of the meeting today. Could I decide that I needed to change to accept the culture because they were not going to change. He respects me totally, of course *rolls eyes*. The upshot of the very long discussion is I either adapt to how they see the world or leave. I am meeting again with the MD tomorrow on this, having been asked to think about my position over night, but I think tomorrow will be my last day in the business. I need to stay for my staff but after today I need to leave for my sanity. As a grown arsed woman, how can I possibly accept staying somewhere when I have been told today that I must shut up and put up with this behaviour and just get on with it...

Nope. Not at all. So I have a plan.

I had thought to take the summer off but that would drive me insane. So, a few weeks off to get over the toxic, get a new job which should not be difficult with my reputation in this market, and then poach the best of my team

Many of the woman I work with have been holding on because we are a cohesive team. I am the glue.... and can I say in about six months I will be posting about Karma being a complete Bitch....

PS in my entire career I have had only 5 jobs in total. The only two that lasted a year or just less.. only female on the executive team. Not sure what that says about me?!?! hehe

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Arrow 14 replies Author Time Post
Reply Update on - Are you literally f*cking kidding me? (Original post)
Soph0571 Jun 2019 OP
shanny Jun 2019 #1
rusty quoin Jun 2019 #2
Soph0571 Jun 2019 #3
Mr.Bill Jun 2019 #4
CousinIT Jun 2019 #6
CousinIT Jun 2019 #5
GeoWilliam750 Jun 2019 #7
cally Jun 2019 #8
Lonestarblue Jun 2019 #11
Stonepounder Jun 2019 #9
PoindexterOglethorpe Jun 2019 #10
SCVDem Jun 2019 #12
WinstonSmith4740 Jun 2019 #13
MLAA Jun 2019 #14

Response to Soph0571 (Original post)

Thu Jun 13, 2019, 05:28 PM

1. You go, girl!

 

("terrorist fist bump"

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Response to Soph0571 (Original post)

Thu Jun 13, 2019, 05:31 PM

2. I can't believe they won't even try to be better.

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Response to rusty quoin (Reply #2)

Thu Jun 13, 2019, 05:34 PM

3. Maybe in my meeting tomorrow he will come back and say...

...thought about it you are right. But after my meeting today I know that will be a cynical move to keep me, rather than expression of a real belief that things need to change. It would be a pat on my head. Not real. I actually like my MD very much on a personal level. I understand him, does not mean I have to accept him

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Response to Soph0571 (Original post)

Thu Jun 13, 2019, 06:41 PM

4. Without going into a lot of detail,

I left a job once and within about six months I took every good person working there with me. I put that place out of business. One of the high points of my career.

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Response to Mr.Bill (Reply #4)

Thu Jun 13, 2019, 06:43 PM

6. +1000 n/t

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Response to Soph0571 (Original post)

Thu Jun 13, 2019, 06:43 PM

5. Sounds like a good plan! Kick their asses! They deserve it! n/t

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Response to Soph0571 (Original post)

Thu Jun 13, 2019, 06:56 PM

8. Caution, before you quit

MD may try to trash you in your field. I would document everything!!! And find a job before leaving. Much safer and then you can proceed with your plan. There may be rules and signed agreements about taking staff. When I left a business that was in my contract.

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Response to cally (Reply #8)

Thu Jun 13, 2019, 07:21 PM

11. Yes, and check any terms if you have a contract.

Some companies produce anti-competition clauses that are buried in contracts and prevent you from working for a competitor for a certain period of time. Iíve been through this nonsense, and my attorney basically said that I could fight it because most courts refuse to uphold terms that prevent you from gaining employment, but it would take lots of time and lots of dollars to do so. I passed and took a job with a company that was in the same field but not a direct competitor.

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Response to Soph0571 (Original post)

Thu Jun 13, 2019, 07:02 PM

9. Good for you and shame on them!

Just be aware that some of us males really do 'get it'. I had a job where I was the head of IT. While I didn't have a high falutin' title, it was still recognized that I was a pretty important cog in the machine since I was the only person who understood our new computer. I had one female employee who not only was an excellent member of the team, but was also extremely attractive.

I became aware that a male employee from another dept was in the habit of waylaying her in a corridor and getting way to close and basically being a jerk. I asked her about it and she told me that 'it was just something she had learned she had to put up with'.

LIKE BLOODY HELL!

I went to the HR Director and told him what was going on and that I expected it to stop immediately. The HR Director was one of the good guys who immediately called the jerk into his office and told him that a) he was going a training class on harassment, b) one more complaint about him would result in his being terminated, and c) there would be a note placed in his personnel file regarding the conversation they were having!

Strangely, said jerk decided that it might be a good time to go look for a new job.

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Response to Soph0571 (Original post)

Thu Jun 13, 2019, 07:07 PM

10. Good for you!

People should be a lot more willing to leave jobs over such things.

On a related note, I just picked up my computer from Best Buy after a repair. The DVD player decided it was bored or hungry or just didn't like my taste in movies, so it ate a DVD. It took a female employee to figure out how to open the tower and get the old player out so they could install the new one. Just saying. I pointed out to the guy who told me the story, that's why they need to hire more women.

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Response to Soph0571 (Original post)

Thu Jun 13, 2019, 07:57 PM

12. To quote Danny Glover...

I'm getting too old for this shit!

That was 1987. I used to have high hopes for the boomers.

Sell outs and tRump voters! I am disgusted.

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Response to Soph0571 (Original post)

Thu Jun 13, 2019, 08:08 PM

13. You go with your bad self!

Fuck 'em. Go back and get your team. I doubt you'll have to do much active "poaching"...something tells me that they'll be champing at the bit to join you.

If I can boast on my late husband for a minute here, I can honestly say it sounds like you two would have made an unbeatable team. He was never more successful than he was when he worked exclusively with women. Probably because he was never driven by his ego...never spoke down to them, or made them feel "less than".
Congratulations!

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Response to Soph0571 (Original post)

Thu Jun 13, 2019, 08:22 PM

14. Is this a private or public company?

Wow, I am so sorry you have to deal with these Neanderthals.

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