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Mon Feb 18, 2013, 09:32 AM

Being Gay In High School

Nice video, I thought.

3 replies, 2296 views

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Reply Being Gay In High School (Original post)
RKP5637 Feb 2013 OP
Swede Atlanta Feb 2013 #1
uriel1972 Feb 2013 #2
RKP5637 Feb 2013 #3

Response to RKP5637 (Original post)

Mon Feb 18, 2013, 01:34 PM

1. Yes,what a difference several decades make........


First I was struck by his energy level. I remember having that same excitement about literally everything and exuding energy and vivacity at his age. That was many, many years ago.

I grew up in a small town in the inter-mountain west in the 1970s. There was of course no You-Tube, internet, social media, etc. Further, quite honestly I knew I was attracted to other boys but didn't really know what that meant. I guess I somehow thought this was some kind of a phase since all the other boys were doing their best to get a chance at de-flowering one of the girls. There was no access to information about homosexuality or being "gay" for me. My parents rarely showed any physical emotion so the idea of them doing "it" was really not even in my mind although I knew something had to happen for my sister and I to be alive.

I got called 'faggot" a few times in high school although, to be honest, I didn't even really know what that meant. But it was not abusive or bullying in the way so many gay youth experience those years. Yes I was involved in the drama club, band, choir, musicals, etc. I didn't really know what that meant other than that I enjoyed those activities.

Fast forward to college and I was so focused on getting top grades and "being successful", I missed several possible forays into my repressed sexuality. I remember I had two guys that lived in my dorm at different times invite me down to their rooms, alone. Looking back on it I think they were putting the moves on me. I was totally oblivious to this fact.

But then in my senior year of college, a cousin talked about going to a gay bar. I drove by that gay bar several times (mind you I wasn't in the small town where I grew up) watching guys enter this club. Finally, one Friday night after I turned 21 my cousin and his "friend" fed me several beers and we went to this club. My heart was racing but once inside I knew this was where I belonged...not the bar....but being with other men who were attracted to other men. And the rest is history.

I'm so glad young people have an easier time than I did. I am glad there are online resources and organizations such as PFLAG to help kids and families as they move their lives forward. I know there are still many kids that suffer, are taunted, are hazed, are bullied, and unfortunately take their lives. But it IS GETTING BETTER and will GET BETTER.

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Response to RKP5637 (Original post)

Mon Feb 18, 2013, 07:37 PM

2. Back in the 80's, at my high school at least,

Gay and High school were not compatible. Notwithstanding I am not gay as such, but transgender. "Faggot" was the least of my worries. I still get flashbacks to the abuse and am still getting help for things that happened to me at that time.

Many people don't seem to understand that lessons learned at that age can stay with you for decades and that time does not heal all wounds. Things are slowly improving and I do forgive those people for what they did, they were kids after all and probably did not understand the consequences of their behaviour. However I can't forget and I don't know how I would deal with meeting one of them again.

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Response to uriel1972 (Reply #2)

Mon Feb 18, 2013, 09:11 PM

3. I was gay some decades before that, back then it was queer. I was lucky, I was not

singled out, but did not measure up to the sports focus at my HS. I always knew I was different, but somehow it never rang a bell, although I did look at boys.

I still recall today strong negative emotions from back then, but I was lucky, gay bashing did not go on at my school, I think it was just the times. I can still hear the tapes running in my mind of some of the close incidents ... as you say, those feelings never leave.

One guy was quite feminine at our HS, as they said then, and he was picked on ... they didn't call him queer, but just taunted him for not being a manly boy, etc.

Back then they saw it as a mental disorder ... I think they would have institutionalized someone openly gay. Times have gotten far better ... just the internet has opened a world to many. Back then I only had my father's medical books, for example, and of course they made homosexuals horribly deranged people. That sure lifted ones spirits reading the crap.

I never went to any of my HS reunions. I guess I was thought of as OK, more or less, but I did not want to relive any of the feelings I used to have pent up in me. Funny, I double dated for the senior prom with the Captain of the Varsity football team. And one of my teachers told me I had to go to my senior prom with a date. Funny, some of my teachers knew more about me than I did, I think, looking back.

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