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Mon Jan 23, 2012, 07:40 PM

Dry Humping An Adequate Sex Alternative For Teens, Says Weird, Unsolicited Report From Interior Dept

According to Beltway sources, confused White House staffers arrived at their desks Wednesday to find a meticulously researched, entirely unrequested report from the Interior Department assessing dry humping as a suitable sex alternative for teenagers.

The uncomfortably in-depth 900-page document, which outlines the benefits of clothed genital stimulation versus fully penetrative sex, reportedly baffled administration officials, who confirmed they generally associate the department with its role in managing natural resources and administering programs for Native Americans.

"I find this all extremely odd, to say the least," said White House deputy chief of staff Nancy-Ann DeParle, thumbing through a large three-ring binder emblazoned with the department's American bison seal. "Reducing teen STD and pregnancy rates is important, of course, but this falls so far outside Interior's purview that…well, I don't even know how to respond to this, to be quite honest."

"How could they possibly have found the time or funding for an in-depth study of dry humping?" DeParle added. "I'm certain we didn't commission this."

http://www.theonion.com/articles/dry-humping-an-adequate-sex-alternative-for-teens,27084/

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Reply Dry Humping An Adequate Sex Alternative For Teens, Says Weird, Unsolicited Report From Interior Dept (Original post)
XemaSab Jan 2012 OP
GliderGuider Jan 2012 #1
caraher Jan 2012 #2
XemaSab Jan 2012 #3

Response to XemaSab (Original post)

Mon Jan 23, 2012, 07:55 PM

1. You're weird.

 

I like that in a XemaSab.

But I'm still going to alert on it.

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Response to GliderGuider (Reply #1)

Mon Jan 23, 2012, 08:11 PM

2. If only a host knew this kind of thing was being posted...

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Response to GliderGuider (Reply #1)

Mon Jan 23, 2012, 08:17 PM

3. Where did that "Super Powers" button go?

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