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Wed Aug 15, 2012, 12:29 AM

Last night I walked a drunk girl home...

This will sound sort of like a Penthouse letter, but it really happened last night.
I was throwing out the garbage and about to walk back in the house when a drunk girl comes stumbling down our alley -she was weaving back and forth a lot. There had been a festival that night with lots of drinking.
We live on a small island and the "streets" are more like very narrow alleys.
Anyway, I asked her if she was okay and she said not really. I think it was her that asked if I could walk her home.

She was so drunk that she really needed some support, so I took her by the hand and walked her back to her house about 3/4 of a mile away. On the way, she was upset about something, apologizing for making me go to the trouble, saying how nice I was, on and on...like a drunk-ish person.
On the 20 min. walk, we talked -where she was from, etc. I got her name, she asked what I was doing on this little island, etc.

Halfway there, she said she needed to take a break, so asked if I would sit and have a cigarette with her. I found a nearby bench and we sat --it turned out she didn't even have cigarettes so it made it pretty obvious she was hitting me, especially after we sat down and she put her head against me and sort of leaned over close to my lap and looked up at me. She was upset about something to do with how her sister was cuter than her... kind of insecure and crying a lot. I comforted her by telling her that she was attractive and that we all have our little insecurities, etc. --AND I IGNORED her clear attempts to offer herself up to me. She was 33 and I am 46 and I would be lying if I didn't say I was tempted. She was tall and slim and looking pretty good I must say.

Anyway, I walked her back to her house and she hugged me several times and then surprised me with a kiss right on the mouth. Wow. I gotta say it has been a while since I had something dropped in my lap like that... but I totally resisted the temptation and left her at the doorstep and walked home like a champ and a gentlemen having done the right thing by doing nothing. Also, I left her feeling better and did my best to cheer her up. I was warm and kind and did all the right things.

My head was up high and I was proud of myself. Had great sex with the wife after I got home (as we often do) but I have to still admit that I wish I could have cloned myself and let my bad self do what IT wanted to do while my good self did what I wound up doing.

It was such an unusual experience on this little island for me, a 46 year old short guy who hasn't exactly felt very sexy since I put on 20 pounds in the last 3 years. But I wanted to share here, in a way to say to the lurking women folk, we're not all rapists and yes, sometimes we DO do the right thing (in fact, maybe MOST of us do, who knows?)

42 replies, 13857 views

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Arrow 42 replies Author Time Post
Reply Last night I walked a drunk girl home... (Original post)
Bonobo Aug 2012 OP
SnohoDem Aug 2012 #1
redqueen Aug 2012 #2
Bonobo Aug 2012 #3
Warren DeMontague Aug 2012 #9
ProudToBeBlueInRhody Aug 2012 #14
Bonobo Aug 2012 #15
ProudToBeBlueInRhody Aug 2012 #16
Bonobo Aug 2012 #17
ProudToBeBlueInRhody Aug 2012 #18
discntnt_irny_srcsm Aug 2012 #19
4th law of robotics Aug 2012 #20
redqueen Aug 2012 #21
4th law of robotics Aug 2012 #22
redqueen Aug 2012 #23
4th law of robotics Aug 2012 #24
redqueen Aug 2012 #25
4th law of robotics Aug 2012 #26
redqueen Aug 2012 #28
4th law of robotics Aug 2012 #32
seabeyond Aug 2012 #27
4th law of robotics Aug 2012 #29
redqueen Aug 2012 #30
seabeyond Aug 2012 #31
4th law of robotics Aug 2012 #33
seabeyond Aug 2012 #34
4th law of robotics Aug 2012 #35
seabeyond Aug 2012 #36
4th law of robotics Aug 2012 #37
seabeyond Aug 2012 #38
4th law of robotics Aug 2012 #39
seabeyond Aug 2012 #40
4th law of robotics Aug 2012 #41
Major Nikon Aug 2012 #4
Bonobo Aug 2012 #5
Major Nikon Aug 2012 #6
Bonobo Aug 2012 #7
Major Nikon Aug 2012 #8
ZenLefty Aug 2012 #10
Bonobo Aug 2012 #11
ZenLefty Aug 2012 #12
Bonobo Aug 2012 #13
lumberjack_jeff Aug 2012 #42

Response to Bonobo (Original post)

Sat Aug 18, 2012, 04:03 AM

1. It doesn't make you special,

and I mean that in the best way.

Similar things have happened to myself and many other people.

We're trained to look at a situation like this in a sexual way, but I think it's more than that. Good people don't take advantage of others when they are in a weakened position. If she'd been a drunk salaryman, would you have walked him home and stolen his wallet?

You did good. You acted like a human being.

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Response to Bonobo (Original post)

Sat Aug 18, 2012, 09:09 AM

2. I'm curious...

Did you happen to mention, before you took the drunk 30-year-old "girl's" hand, that you were married?

Maybe she didn't care, in her drunkenness, and the overly familiar behavior would have occurred either way. Then again, maybe not.

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Response to redqueen (Reply #2)

Sat Aug 18, 2012, 09:18 AM

3. She needed my hand to walk.

And no, I did not mention it then. It came up during the walk though -before the overly familiar behavior.

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Response to Bonobo (Reply #3)

Sat Aug 18, 2012, 10:08 PM

9. You are a man, ergo, you're doing it wrong.

Whatever it is, you're doing it wrong.

Just remember that.

But you'll even do that wrong.

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Response to Bonobo (Reply #3)

Mon Aug 20, 2012, 10:16 AM

14. If she were in fact a drunk man in need, you presumably wouldn't have taken his hand

That's sexism.


(According to some here)

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Response to ProudToBeBlueInRhody (Reply #14)

Mon Aug 20, 2012, 10:25 AM

15. I would have held his arm for certain.

But since her upper arm would have been more familiar and intimate, I took her hand.

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Response to Bonobo (Reply #15)

Mon Aug 20, 2012, 10:32 AM

16. Interesting

I don't see the upper arm as more intimate than the hand, especially if you link your arm around it, but who knows?

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Response to ProudToBeBlueInRhody (Reply #16)

Mon Aug 20, 2012, 10:54 AM

17. With the upper arm...

You might touch the woman's breast.

I rest my case.

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Response to Bonobo (Reply #17)

Mon Aug 20, 2012, 11:04 AM

18. Yeah....

....but if you offer your arm first and hands locked to your hip, and she wraps around it, it sort of negates that.

Sure, it puts you closer together body wise, but I'm thinking about the actual steadiness of guiding her along. Also palm to palm touch I find pretty intimate. But again, I suppose it's all perspective. Crap, see why this stuff can be difficult?

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Response to ProudToBeBlueInRhody (Reply #18)

Mon Aug 20, 2012, 02:52 PM

19. While lacking sufficient depth...

...for an actual university level minor program, this topic could well merit a 3 course topic series in today's politically correct world.

I foresee a 101 level survey course with elements of ethics and social responsibility covered; also, a pair of 201-202 courses (4 credits each) including a lab.

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Response to redqueen (Reply #2)

Tue Aug 21, 2012, 11:48 AM

20. So you're saying he asked for it?

 

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Response to 4th law of robotics (Reply #20)

Tue Aug 21, 2012, 11:52 AM

21. No, I was inquiring as to whether boundaries were ignored,

Or whether they weren't set to begin with.

Seemed fairly simple to me.


I'm curious about how many married men are so tempted to betray their wives that they wish they could clone themselves so they could go fuck around. Not too many men here seem at all bothered by the idea...

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Response to redqueen (Reply #21)

Tue Aug 21, 2012, 11:54 AM

22. So you have to verbally establish boundaries first

 

otherwise we can assume none exist?

Somehow I don't think you'd blame a woman for being kissed on the mouth by a drunk guy if she failed to tell him not to in advance.

The assumption is no sexual contact. You have to give permission before it is acceptable.

Right?

I'm curious about how many married men are so tempted to betray their wives that they wish they could clone themselves so they could go fuck around. Not too many men here seem at all bothered by the idea...


Woman gets drunk, sexually objectifies a man, takes as her "right" intimate contact without permission and clearly it's . . . the men who are disgusting pigs who are in the wrong.

/being able to act as you please and always blame men is an example of female privilege is it not? If a man get's drunk and takes advantage of a woman that is at the very least assault.

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Response to 4th law of robotics (Reply #22)

Tue Aug 21, 2012, 11:59 AM

23. If a man approaches me in a dark alley at night... after a festival with lots of drinking...

I don't assume he wants to exchange business cards.

Dial back the selective outrage. I didn't say shit about "disgusting pigs", that's your defensiveness / compulsive strawmanning.

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Response to redqueen (Reply #23)

Tue Aug 21, 2012, 12:01 PM

24. I'm just curious how you blame men for this

 

what did he do wrong?

Also do you perceive that she was in any way in the wrong? Or did he ask for it by leading her on?

Consider the same scenario with the genders reversed. Where would you outrage lie?

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Response to 4th law of robotics (Reply #24)

Tue Aug 21, 2012, 12:05 PM

25. What blame are you talking about?

For a misunderstanding? I don't even know if it was one. She knew he was married and threw herself at him, that is scummy behavior, so obviously if that's the "blame" you're looking for, there it is. It's on her. There. Happy?

You really ought to consider that not all situations lend themselves to neat little 'one person gets all the blame' conclusions.

Also just to help you out, the issue of patriarchy and blaming it is not about individuals. It's a macro level concept.

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Response to redqueen (Reply #25)

Tue Aug 21, 2012, 12:08 PM

26. You asked if:

 

he had mentioned in advance that he was married.

Really that shouldn't matter as she shouldn't assume she has sexual access to his body without his explicit permission. Is that correct?

So by bringing it up you are implying that is a qualifying factor. Meaning that he bears some of the blame for not "establishing boundaries".

I'm surprised you didn't ask how he was dressed . . .

/you really don't like being held to the same standard do you? If the genders were reversed and anyone had argued as you have you'd label them a rape-apologist.

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Response to 4th law of robotics (Reply #26)

Tue Aug 21, 2012, 12:14 PM

28. LOL

Yes, hugs (which obviously were not rejected) and a kiss on the mouth (which its safe to assume was also not rejected), after he allowed her to rest her head on him, is JUST LIKE BEING RAPED.

What a waste of time...

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Response to redqueen (Reply #28)

Tue Aug 21, 2012, 12:18 PM

32. Well I suppose if it weren't for double standards

 

you wouldn't have any standards at all.

Thanks for femsplaining why it's ok when the genders are one way but not the other.

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Response to 4th law of robotics (Reply #24)

Tue Aug 21, 2012, 12:12 PM

27. when i run up to the store, a 5 minute run, i let hubby know i am taking off

 

he does the same. mere consideration. what if one of us went looking for the other, and the person was nowhere around. it would be an unnecessary inconvenience, so we would just let the other know out of respect, thoughtfulness.

almost a mile walk, with rest points is working on an hour. i cannot imagine my hubby would just take off with a drunk women. sorry, our relationship in no way works that way.

forget about me as a wife.

firstly, hubby would suggest taking the car, not to waste his time.
second, he would yell out so i knew what was up.... so there is no misunderstanding (as i would for him)
third, he wouldnt want to be alone with a drunk women for his own safety. both with me, and any possibility of false accusation.

there is nothing in this story that makes sense.

probably, in our home, he would come to me, tell me the situation, and ask me to drive her home. and i would.

no, my husband would not be happy if a strange drunk man was walking by and i took off with him for an hour, thought about fucking him and came home and fucked him instead. he would not be patting me on the back, lol.

but then, all marriages are different.

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Response to seabeyond (Reply #27)

Tue Aug 21, 2012, 12:14 PM

29. Ah good

 

I was really waiting for someone to make the argument that the OP was a scumbag for doing this.

Took long enough.

No matter what the scenario the answer is always the same: men are wrong.

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Response to 4th law of robotics (Reply #29)

Tue Aug 21, 2012, 12:17 PM

30. Who said scumbag? Only you.

Get off the cross already.

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Response to 4th law of robotics (Reply #29)

Tue Aug 21, 2012, 12:17 PM

31. then you are not looking for discussion. choose to put words out that were not said.

 

and did not want someone to answer your question?

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Response to seabeyond (Reply #31)

Tue Aug 21, 2012, 12:27 PM

33. Just looking for a confirmation

 

on what I assumed about yall.

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Response to 4th law of robotics (Reply #33)

Tue Aug 21, 2012, 12:49 PM

34. you were wrong. but.... cause i am so fair and balanced

 



i asked hubby to read the OP and then read my reply. and give me his opinion. i told him i spoke for him, and i wanted to hear what he thought.

it was interesting. illuminating. and helped me to see it a bit differently. we almost always arrive at the same place. which makes life a hell of a lot easier. and we almost always arrive at that same place in a different manner.

BUT...

when he read the OP he said, ok, he did the right thing. made sure she got home safely. that was about it.

when he read my post, he said, ya, you are right. good point. yes, i would have done that. true that. hadnt thought about that.

when we discussed it he said that he was not picking up on it the same as i, but he gets what i was saying. his reading of it was more .... shallow. so, that helped me to understand why there are people on this thread answering as they are.

i get it.

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Response to seabeyond (Reply #34)

Tue Aug 21, 2012, 12:59 PM

35. So . . . you convinced your husband

 

to agree with you. That's not really proof of anything.

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Response to 4th law of robotics (Reply #35)

Tue Aug 21, 2012, 01:03 PM

36. i will speak for hubby again. he would not be so thrilled for you to create him as the

 

caricature of the weak husband that toes the line. he has never been fond of that societal conditioning.

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Response to seabeyond (Reply #36)

Tue Aug 21, 2012, 01:07 PM

37. But that's exactly what you described

 

he had an opinion, you told him he was wrong, he changed his opinion to match yours.

I won't comment on your relationship in general as I know nothing about it. I'm just describing what you wrote.

Flip the genders: a man is commenting on the actions of a woman which he deems inappropriate. He asks his wife to confirm. She dares have her own differing opinion. He tells her why she is wrong. She reconsiders and agrees with him that the woman in this scenario was wrong.

What are your thoughts on that? Proud independent wife who doesn't need a man to tell her what to think?

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Response to 4th law of robotics (Reply #37)

Tue Aug 21, 2012, 01:10 PM

38. no, it is not at all what i described. but, i am done playing. like he gave me a perspective

 

i had not thought of (and happily admitted to), and taught me something new, i did the same. no more. but again, you choose to create it in a male caricature that most of us would argue against.

bye.

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Response to seabeyond (Reply #38)

Tue Aug 21, 2012, 01:13 PM

39. You both got new perspectives

 

but he changed his opinion and you held fast to yours.

Sure.

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Response to 4th law of robotics (Reply #39)

Tue Aug 21, 2012, 01:19 PM

40. lordy you just want to diss the hubby dont you. totally offensive. i changed my opinion

 

on the posts in this thread. change, change.

not good enough for you? wow. we like win win win in our house. we do not need to create a winner and loser. but.... i will not interact with you again. how you portray my husband is really offensive.

this would be another example of me standing up for men. and a mans need to fight it. why do you want to create him into something weak? what is in it for you?

i dont need an answer. i am done.

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Response to seabeyond (Reply #40)

Tue Aug 21, 2012, 01:21 PM

41. If you're coming across in a certain way

 

perhaps you should work on how you portray your relationship to others.

How is telling men they're wrong and shallow in their thinking "standing up for them"?

You tried your best to femsplain (thanks for that) but you just don't get it.

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Response to Bonobo (Original post)

Sat Aug 18, 2012, 12:33 PM

4. You're braver than I am

Things are a lot different these days and when you see someone you think is drunk, you really don't know what they are on. I avoid people who appear severely intoxicated like the plague because you just don't know what they are capable of doing. I probably would have called her a cab and I wouldn't have even minded paying the cab fare just for the peace of mind of that person making it home OK.

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Response to Major Nikon (Reply #4)

Sat Aug 18, 2012, 07:14 PM

5. You would laugh if you knew where I lived.

I am on a tiny island in Japan. We don't even have a single traffic light, let alone a taxi.

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Response to Bonobo (Reply #5)

Sat Aug 18, 2012, 07:24 PM

6. I'm guessing not so much a drug problem either

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Response to Major Nikon (Reply #6)

Sat Aug 18, 2012, 08:35 PM

7. Correct. No chance. nt

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Response to Bonobo (Reply #7)

Sat Aug 18, 2012, 09:27 PM

8. Things are just different here these days

It's not as if drugs haven't always been around, but many of the drugs today can cause people to be extremely violent for no reason. Even many of the newer prescription drugs have been linked to violence. A guy I work with had to stop taking Chantix because he said it made him want to kill somebody. Add alcohol to those and things can get really exciting. It might be irrational fear, but I just don't go to bars anymore. There's just too many idiots out there and around here many of them are armed.

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Response to Bonobo (Reply #5)

Sun Aug 19, 2012, 01:54 AM

10. I too live on a tiny island without traffic lights.

You did the right thing, amigo.

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Response to ZenLefty (Reply #10)

Sun Aug 19, 2012, 02:02 AM

11. Really? Now I'm, curious!

Send me a PM with your island name and I'll send you mine!

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Response to Bonobo (Reply #11)

Sun Aug 19, 2012, 03:08 AM

12. Orcas Island, Washington

Not a traffic light among us. And not dissimilar to the small islands of Japan. Indeed, I intend to make a nice traditional Japanese garden here.

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Response to ZenLefty (Reply #12)

Sun Aug 19, 2012, 06:31 AM

13. Come here next year with the other Orcas Islanders.

They visit us each year along with kids from both Orcas and San Juan Island!

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Response to Bonobo (Original post)

Tue Aug 21, 2012, 05:23 PM

42. Guys tend to walk into temptation, like accepting a dare.

 

You're a guy. When she walked past your porch, the first thought that sprung to mind was the penthouse letter syndrome.

It was a personal challenge to accept the dare, and see how close to the line you could get without crossing.

Unfortunately, our line and our significant other's line may not be in the same place.

I'm not going to judge where the line is in your relationship, but I'm pretty sure without asking that this would have crossed my wife's line.

IMHO, It's all good. You did what made you feel good, noble and happy without picking up any lasting problems or hurting anyone you care about. I'm no angel and I'm not authorized to judge... but is it praiseworthy?

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