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Sun Jun 29, 2014, 03:29 PM

Regarding domestic violence...

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-2669408/Rise-female-relationship-terrorists-Study-finds-women-controlling-aggressive-partners-men.html

Rise of the female 'relationship terrorists': Study finds women are more controlling and aggressive towards their partners than men
Psychologists found more women are verbally or physically abusive to partner
Within partner relationships, women are just as controlling as men
It suggests 'intimate partner violence' may not be motivated by patriarchal values, as previously thought

<...>

Study leader Dr Elizabeth Bates said: ‘The stereotypical popular view is still one of dominant control by men. That does occur but research over the last ten to 15 years has highlighted the fact that women are controlling and aggressive in relationships too.’
She said scientists may have to think again about the reasons for male violence against women, which previous studies said arose from ‘patriarchal values’ in which men are motivated to seek to control women’s behaviour, using violence if necessary.


My own thoughts on this are simply that men and women have an equal potential for such evil, but express it differently.

12 replies, 1668 views

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Always highlight: 10 newest replies | Replies posted after I mark a forum
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Arrow 12 replies Author Time Post
Reply Regarding domestic violence... (Original post)
TreasonousBastard Jun 2014 OP
Darkhawk32 Jun 2014 #1
In_The_Wind Jun 2014 #2
Darkhawk32 Jun 2014 #3
In_The_Wind Jun 2014 #4
Darkhawk32 Jun 2014 #5
In_The_Wind Jun 2014 #6
TreasonousBastard Jun 2014 #7
the_working_poor Jun 2014 #10
Tetris_Iguana Jun 2014 #8
Doctor_J Jun 2014 #9
the_working_poor Jun 2014 #11
lumberjack_jeff Jun 2014 #12

Response to TreasonousBastard (Original post)

Sun Jun 29, 2014, 06:33 PM

1. Do you realize how much anger, venom, hatred and verbal violence you would get if...

you posted this in GD?

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Response to Darkhawk32 (Reply #1)

Sun Jun 29, 2014, 06:36 PM

2. It'll drift over this way.

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Response to In_The_Wind (Reply #2)

Sun Jun 29, 2014, 06:43 PM

3. Not drift, more like sludge. n/t

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Response to Darkhawk32 (Reply #3)

Sun Jun 29, 2014, 06:48 PM

4. It's a shame.

My second stepmother treated my father horribly. That was back in the 60's. The unspoken truth.

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Response to In_The_Wind (Reply #4)

Sun Jun 29, 2014, 06:58 PM

5. My ex-wife was physically abusive to me.

She would hit, punch, scratch and slash me with metal spatulas. Now I'm a very big, powerlifter-looking guy and the only thing that hurt me physically were the slashes. But still, the rest of it scars you forever. All the while, society tells me that I should "suck it up" and "be a man". Men don't report much of the physical abuse and almost never admit the emotional abuse that happens to them.

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Response to Darkhawk32 (Reply #5)

Sun Jun 29, 2014, 07:23 PM

6. I'm sorry for the things you endured.

No man, woman or child should suffer abuse.

Sucking it up isn't the answer. Without help to change an abusive spouse will only become worse as time goes on.

I'm glad for you that you ended the relationship. The scars won't go away.

My wish for you is that you find a kind and gentle person to share your life with.

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Response to Darkhawk32 (Reply #5)

Sun Jun 29, 2014, 07:30 PM

7. I've known four men who were in such relationships...

and their wives had no compunction against beating on them in public. I've probably known more where the woman was abused, but usually something was done to protect her when it got out. And that wasn't considered as abnormal as the husband being the victim, so didn't stick in memory.

Then again, one guy hit her back once, and spent the night in jail. Still can't hit a woman, even if she's trying to brain you with a cast iron frying pan.

This is a very small sample, though, and most relationships I've seen were nonviolent, even when rocky. Myself, I've never been involved in anything like that and all my relationships were quite peaceful.

But, the world is not a peaceful place, and whoever is at fault it really sucks when you can't get away from the violence at home.

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Response to TreasonousBastard (Reply #7)

Sun Jun 29, 2014, 09:40 PM

10. makes you wonder how much 'abuse' was him trying to fight back

 

My exwife abused me emotionally.
I tried to fight back, yelling, screaming. The usual. But I never won a fight.
I was always in the wrong.

always.

in 12 years I was never right about anything... not once.

I don't know how that's even physically possible.

Then I found out she had cheated on me during a trip we both took to my parents....
I didn't hit her. I didn't even lay a finger on her but GOD knows I wanted to. After everything else she'd done to me, MADE me accept quietly that was ... that was a bridge too far.
our marriage ended that night. I tried counseling. But whenever we went to the shrink it felt like I was the one who made all the mistakes. that it was all my fault (female marriage counselor.shrink).
Then she got a new boyfriend online and told me there was nothing I could do about it.

no matter what I tried, however romantic I was, however conciliatory or obsequious I was... nothing mattered.
She said if I'd hit her for cheating on me she would have fought the divorce with an attorney.
Not like she could get a much sweeter deal that she got anyway... everything.

I didn't hit her becasue I didn't see a point to it.
I'm not an abuser of women. But I'll never trust them again either.

I have PTSD of a sort no one wants to admits exists or cares to try and 'cure'.
I'm an abused ex-husband and no one gives a shit.

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Response to TreasonousBastard (Original post)

Sun Jun 29, 2014, 09:16 PM

8. My now wife used to abuse me quite frequently.

Thankfully she's matured past that stage.

[url=http://www.cosgan.de/smilie.php][img][/img][/url]

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Response to TreasonousBastard (Original post)

Sun Jun 29, 2014, 09:21 PM

9. Unfortunately, not a complete surprise

 

Women are making "advances", or getting closer to parity, on all fronts - the good, bad, and ugly.

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Response to Doctor_J (Reply #9)

Sun Jun 29, 2014, 09:43 PM

11. You seem to be under the mistake that this is new.

 

I can show you examples from the Illiad of wives abusing their husbands.
Hell half of the old testament men did things to please their wives or those they were courting.

No, women abusing men is nothing new. It's as old as Lilith.

It's just that now that women are slowly (and I will be the first to point out that sexism is bullshit and women should be treated and paid as equals) attaining parity that people are actually NOTICING this.

Kind of sad really.

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Response to TreasonousBastard (Original post)

Sun Jun 29, 2014, 11:13 PM

12. Injury to women is commonly the culmination of a cycle of violence. n/t

 

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