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Sun Oct 3, 2021, 03:51 PM

A new approach to PEACE

Out in the 12 Step World is a concept of defining "The Problem" and "The Solution" and I applied it to finding a better way to work together (at all - even DU feels argumentative these days).

I am hoping it will be a way to communicate with some of my family who are decent people, but very tRumpy.

I would still have to pursue permission to use this anywhere publicly where I might derive any financial benefit (which I might have to do as some parts of it need further explanation as they are maybe quirky concepts on my part and may take a book or booklet.)

But tell me if any of this makes sense to people.

The Problem:
Humanity’s Tendency to De-Evolve into Clan Based Thought

Many of us found that we had several characteristics in common as a result of being brought up in a World that created Clan Based Systems of EXCLUSION as part of our evolution, but that when used NOW results in backwards steps for Humanity in general and US personally.

We can feel isolated, uneasy with other people, especially authority figures. Every interaction becomes about US vs THEM.

To protect SELF and CLAN, we can HIDE, FLEE or FIGHT. If we became people pleasers, we might lose our own identities in the process. We can mistake any personal criticism as a threat to hide from, run from or face with a vengeance.

We might have become EXCLUSIONISTS (or practiced other FEAR Based Behavior Roles) ourselves, or have suffered interactions with such personalities, and suffered harm, felt persecuted and misunderstood by entire groups of “OTHER” people.

We can devolve into righteous victimhood. Developing HYPER Vigilance as our sense of responsibility can WARP into being more concerned with how others treat us rather than seeing our own actions and others actions in their true light.

We can get guilt feelings when we stand up for ourselves, often giving in to others to keep the peace or become COMBATITIVE. This made many of US devolve into FEAR Based Reactors rather than EVOLVED Human Actors, letting other’s initiatives RULE or WRECK our lives.

We see our World from a viewpoint of TERRIFIED INTER-DEPENDENCY where although we have made much progress in DEFINING, DEFUSING and DOVETAILING our interactions we FEAR the OTHER Group will somehow betray US. Historically, it is TRUE. So SOME fears are rational. But the HYPER Vigilance causes us to DEFEND, DISTRUST and DENY most efforts at PEACE, Co-operation and Mutual Advancement as INSINCERE unless we already SEE those offering as One of US instead of One of THEM.

These symptoms of De-Evolution made us ‘co-victims’, those who take on the characteristics of the dysfunction without necessarily ever resorting to the highest crimes. We learned to DISTRUST OTHERS as children and RESISTED new information into adulthood. As a result of this conditioning, we often confused DOGMA with FACTS trying to SOLVE the WRONG PROBLEMS with FEAR BASED SOLUTIONS.

Unable to recognize this as self-perpetuating and self-defeating DE-Evolution, we became STUCK in a cycle of constant upset that distrusted, delayed and derailed workable solutions.

This is a description, not an indictment. 

The Solution:
Become Evolved Humans ACTING on FACTS to face FEARS

The solution is to become THE CHANGE. Evolve personally and teach others to do the same.
SEE History based on actual FACTS and do NOT be swayed by FEAR to spray “THEY DID IT” or “I AM RIGHT” on EVERYTHING. Become part of RE-Evolution. Do NOT just start a revolution AGAINST another “THEM” as it will only cause more conflict and less resolution of problems.

By coming together with the goal of Evolving Humanity into a Healthy Inter-Dependency based on DEFINING, DEFUSING and DOVETAILING our interactions; we can create a safe structure that protects people from those who would over reach power while harnessing the good we can do as complimentary societies. We can then advance toward World PEACE, create more Health and Wealth while sharing our resources and advances within Secure Parameters. LAWS that REWARD Honest Cooperation and PENALIZES all DIS-Honest Attempts to revert to a Clan Based Society that DISRUPTS the PROCESS of Evolution towards PEACE among the Peoples of the World.

WE FACE THE PAST TOGETHER without making any one group into only heroes or only victims. We become EVOLVED Humans, imprisoned no longer by Clan Based reactions. We discover/recover the evolved human within; learning to love, accept and respect ourselves AND others.

The healing begins when we risk FACING FACTS WITHOUT DOGMA. While it is right to allow people who have been treated as “other” for most of history to grieve over the hurts of the past and acknowledge their pain and suffering, including any portion of that pain that is our own; we don’t get to healing the rift until we gradually release those burdens of unexpressed grief and become WILLING, however slowly, TO MOVE OUT OF THE PAST. We learn to treat ourselves AND OTHERS with gentleness, humor, love and respect by DEFINING, DEFUSING and DOVETAILING our interactions.

This process allows us to see our HISTORY as the FACTS of our existence. We acknowledge that no one group of people has been able to experience the Evolution into Healthy Inter-Dependence among people in their society without RELEASING the Fearful Clan Based Mentality of US vs THEM.

This is the action and work that heals us: we use FACTS to confront FEARS; we use the FACTS to find HEALTHY SOLUTIONS to Our Problems TOGETHER. We share our experience, strength, and hope with each other. We learn to restructure our sick thinking one day at a time. When we release ourselves from the Mentality of FEAR Based CLAN Reactions, and take responsibility for our actions today, we become free to make healthful decisions as actors, not reactors. We progress from hurting, to healing, to helping. We awaken to a sense of wholeness within HUMANITY that we never knew was possible.

By working together to FACE the FEAR Baseed Clan Mode of Thought as the dysfunction it is: a system that seeks to compartmentalize the people of the World into US vs THEM, we release it’s power to affect US as we seek to EVOLVE into the BEST that Humanity can become.

We keep the focus on FACTS and the need for SOLUTIONS in the PRESENT. We take responsibility to BE THE CHANGE we are looking for to solve the World’s and our own problems.

We can accept the PAST as it WAS and Ourselves and Others AS WE ARE. We SEE the TRUTH of a World that is still divided and searching for the best answers for how to work together without losing our own independence. We acknowledge both mistakes and well intentioned groundwork that can be salvaged or replaced with something better suited for EVOLVED interactions that advance Humanity as a WHOLE Entity.

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Reply A new approach to PEACE (Original post)
TigressDem Oct 2021 OP
ymetca Oct 2021 #1
TigressDem Oct 2021 #2

Response to TigressDem (Original post)

Sun Oct 3, 2021, 06:36 PM

1. Interesting post!

Very thought-provoking.

I am now thinking of that Faulkner line “The past is never dead. It's not even past". Which is true, right?

We are constantly re-evaluating what we know about the past, and discovering new things, and thus challenging the general consensus.

People don't like realizing that our past is just as mysterious (and ultimately unknown) as our future. That can be terrifying to consider. Hence so many folks (and particularly those in power) insisting that there must always, always, be some sort of agreed upon version of history, else society will crumble. We build monuments out of lies, and lies out of monuments.

So I can see how the "acceptance" part of the 12 steps makes for a good starting point for embracing the reality that what we believe is true now may not always be true, and what we think is true about the past is likely only part of the story, or indeed, may never have been true at all.

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Response to ymetca (Reply #1)

Mon Oct 4, 2021, 08:15 AM

2. Thanks.

What I am looking for as well is to see how WE THE PEOPLE can face the whole of CLAN BASED thinking and root it out wherever we find it.

Anyone who grew up in dysfunction knows the coping mechanisms and outright abuse of power can be in one's face and insidiously hidden at the same time. To me, that is where the US is at with the racism laced into the framework of the law causing systemic dysfunction.

In many discussions of "White Privilege" I have been trying to figure out how to look at a part of our system and show that beyond bestowing "privilege" it causes harm and needs to be removed to create a society that actually works for all of US. To ME those are the FIRES needing to be put out, but in the US we need a MAJORITY to understand it to erradicate it.

When Derek Chauvin was kneeling on George Floyd, I could see that was KLAN like action. Everyone could. Murdering a man in the street in broad daylight and hiding behind a badge was not LESS like a KKK murder in the dark of night hiding behind a white sheet but MORE heinous and tragic.

Just as "Defund the Police" was an argumentative phrase, but it had to be the starting place to get the corrupt police union out of the Minneapolis situation so the corrupt police could no longer be getting their free passes on excessive violence, "White Privilege" is a starting point that nearly shuts down the conversation.

Chauvin had 18 or 19 allegations of excessive force prior to murdering George Floyd with a look that said he KNEW he could get away with it - because he had over and over again. Police UNION corruption had to be stopped. However, to simply abolish the police and start over, seems short sighted by many.

When we look into the system where we have been able to root out systemic racism, I think of how REDLINING was discovered and legally addressed, and beyond that specific action the whole idea of discriminating against people in renting or selling homes got a full look and redress. It is still a work in progress.

A lot of the "burst of the housing bubble" was maybe a backlash/set up where "fair housing practices" were still meddled with and made to cause suffering to those "NOT OF THE KLAN" and so Freddie Mac and Fannie Mae got in trouble for giving people loans that couldn't really handle them.

What I read about the KKK and how it corrupts local government is more than just the "old boys club" that excludes anyone "NOT OF THE KLAN" from power, it also finds ways to "GET KLAN IN" to positions of power to work discrimination into law at higher and higher levels.

Only ONE up front KKK Grand Master ran for US President - David Duke in 1992.

But they voted for and LOVED tRump. Why?
In 2016 David Duke told NPR HOW the tRump agenda dove tailed with KKK's.

Sometimes in the 12 steps we look at "the group" as our "higher power" as a way to rise up out of our own stinking thinking.

And whenever WE THE PEOPLE get a clear understanding and direction to make change happen, WE have been a magnificent force for change. So I see the potential.

Also sorting out what we can and can't change and what parts are specifically up to each person and what is for the US as a people to handle.

At the least, if each of us roots these attitudes out and finds ways to improve our local situation, things will improve.

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