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htuttle

(23,738 posts)
Fri Sep 22, 2017, 06:09 PM Sep 2017

You know what starts today???



IT’S DECORATIVE GOURD SEASON, MOTHERFUCKERS

I don’t know about you, but I can’t wait to get my hands on some fucking gourds and arrange them in a horn-shaped basket on my dining room table. That shit is going to look so seasonal. I’m about to head up to the attic right now to find that wicker fucker, dust it off, and jam it with an insanely ornate assortment of shellacked vegetables. When my guests come over it’s gonna be like, BLAMMO! Check out my shellacked decorative vegetables, assholes. Guess what season it is — fucking fall. There’s a nip in the air and my house is full of mutant fucking squash.
https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/its-decorative-gourd-season-motherfuckers

21 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
Highlight: NoneDon't highlight anything 5 newestHighlight 5 most recent replies
You know what starts today??? (Original Post) htuttle Sep 2017 OP
I'm laughing so hard my neighbor is Control-Z Sep 2017 #1
It's worth reposting every year htuttle Sep 2017 #2
pumpkin spice candles too? nt irisblue Sep 2017 #3
I see your candles and raise you htuttle Sep 2017 #4
someone needs their ass beat for that. nt irisblue Sep 2017 #5
This message was self-deleted by its author Control-Z Sep 2017 #6
deserved. irisblue Sep 2017 #7
Nah. You didn't deserve that, irisblue. Control-Z Sep 2017 #9
I *think* it's a joke....but you just can't be sure of anything anymore htuttle Sep 2017 #11
I'm calling Skittles to kick your butt, htuttle, Control-Z Sep 2017 #8
lol htuttle Sep 2017 #10
Gourdapalooza! world wide wally Sep 2017 #12
I Don't Mind the Gourds Leith Sep 2017 #13
I don't understand who is attracted to that horrible pumpkin spice crap. It makes japple Sep 2017 #15
The Worst Has to Be Coffee Flavored with It Leith Sep 2017 #16
I have a lot of pumpkin spice candles. Got 'em on sale after season last year. Honeycombe8 Sep 2017 #17
too soon for this too IMHO. irisblue Sep 2017 #14
mutant fucking squash chopper050 Sep 2017 #18
It's time for Pumpkin Spice Lattes, Lifelong Protester Sep 2017 #19
It's 94 degrees today and all weekend in Chicago with humidity mucifer Sep 2017 #20
Every year, the heat lasts longer and longer. nt zanana1 Sep 2017 #21

Response to irisblue (Reply #5)

Control-Z

(15,681 posts)
9. Nah. You didn't deserve that, irisblue.
Fri Sep 22, 2017, 06:52 PM
Sep 2017

I posted it in the wrong place. But I fixed my mistake.
hehehe

Leith

(7,802 posts)
13. I Don't Mind the Gourds
Fri Sep 22, 2017, 07:29 PM
Sep 2017

but pumpkin spice is horribly overdone. That stuff is awful!

I went to the grocery store earlier today and before I turned the corner to see it, I knew that their scented pine cone display was out. They are selling bags of very strongly scented crap that gives me a sinus headache that lasts for hours. And they are right outside the entrance.


japple

(9,773 posts)
15. I don't understand who is attracted to that horrible pumpkin spice crap. It makes
Fri Sep 22, 2017, 07:37 PM
Sep 2017

me sneeze, plugs up my head, and nearly makes me vomit. Who invented it? Why is it necessary? It doesn't even smell like anything remotely related to pumpkins OR real spices. It smells fake. I can take cinnamon, pine cones and christmas trees, but that pumpkin spice makes me violently ill. Tractor Supply Co. has some candles that are especially vile. I try to get my other family members to go buy the petfood and birdseed when they have that crap on display.

Leith

(7,802 posts)
16. The Worst Has to Be Coffee Flavored with It
Fri Sep 22, 2017, 07:39 PM
Sep 2017

That's just too many flavors mixed in together - and a waste of perfectly good coffee.

Honeycombe8

(37,648 posts)
17. I have a lot of pumpkin spice candles. Got 'em on sale after season last year.
Fri Sep 22, 2017, 08:40 PM
Sep 2017

I like to get my candles when they go on big sales after a holiday season.

I think they smell good. But you don't want to light a bunch of 'em. They leave a faint cinnamon spice scent in the air.

My favorite is lemon, though. Yankee Candle lemon. Smells like the head shops of yore. Groovy.

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