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Tue Nov 29, 2016, 06:06 PM

So here's the quandry..........

I lost my home through foreclosure (too involved to explain). I have to be out on the 9th. My 86 year old mom lives with me & I found her an apt. in a HUD Senior high rise, she absolutely loves it. She will probably be moved in this weekend.

I am not working and have no income. I have a friend who lives on the 8th floor of my current condo. We have known each other since 1980. She is single, gay and in a long distance relationship with a wonderful woman, I just wish one of them would retire and they could be together. My friend has offered me her second bedroom in exchange for helping her de-clutter. We talked about it last night. In order for me to have the 2nd bedroom, my friend has to move lots of boxes out of the bedroom in order for me to move in my bed. She also needs to clean out the first floor so that I can get the bed into the unit.

Her refrigerator is broken and I offered her mine (stainless steel, freezer on the bottom) and she said no, she'll just continue to use duct tape to keep the fridge door closed. So I won't be able to store my insulin & will have to leave it at mom's.

I know that my friend is a hoarder (just as her father was). This will be no easy job, as I talked to her about just taking one box, 1/2 hour a day and making three piles 1. Toss 2. Keep 3. Donate. She said she can't do that. Also the 2nd bathroom is not in working condition (our building has maintenance people) who can fix this & she won't call them.

I gave it a lot of thought today after coming home from the Podiatrist's http://www.democraticunderground.com/1018907137
I do not think this will be a healthy situation. I called a brother who at one time offered me his basement, it's basically his man cave. He says he has to talk to his wife again.

I can't live with my friend, and if my brother doesn't come through, what do I do?

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Replies to this discussion thread
Arrow 12 replies Author Time Post
Reply So here's the quandry.......... (Original post)
mrmpa Nov 2016 OP
patricia92243 Nov 2016 #1
mrmpa Nov 2016 #3
mrmpa Nov 2016 #6
annabanana Nov 2016 #7
Fla Dem Nov 2016 #2
mrmpa Nov 2016 #4
mrmpa Nov 2016 #5
Fla Dem Nov 2016 #9
CaliforniaPeggy Nov 2016 #8
mrmpa Nov 2016 #10
redwitch Nov 2016 #11
CaliforniaPeggy Nov 2016 #12

Response to mrmpa (Original post)

Tue Nov 29, 2016, 06:19 PM

1. Why can't you live with your mother? You are her caretaker.

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Response to patricia92243 (Reply #1)

Tue Nov 29, 2016, 06:41 PM

3. I can't.........

it's a one bedroom for seniors who can care for themselves. So no caregivers I think, that would indicate that mom couldn't care for herself.

If I have a problem finding something I might talk to the manager of mom's new residence.

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Response to patricia92243 (Reply #1)

Wed Nov 30, 2016, 04:29 PM

6. Brother came through n/t

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Response to mrmpa (Reply #6)

Wed Nov 30, 2016, 04:41 PM

7. . good news . .n/t

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Response to mrmpa (Original post)

Tue Nov 29, 2016, 06:21 PM

2. Tough position you're in. I do feel for you.

You made the right decision regarding your friend. It would not have ended well. I hope your brother takes you in, at least until you can find more a permanent arrangement. I have no solutions for you if he doesn't.

I am assuming finances are difficult for you, foreclosure and all, and not being employed. Have you applied for any assistance, or checked with any of the social services offices in your area? Many times they can find subsidize housing for those in need.

That's the best I can do for you, I wish you the best, and I'm glad your Mom is settled where she is happy.

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Response to Fla Dem (Reply #2)

Tue Nov 29, 2016, 10:26 PM

4. I receive food stamps & am on medicaid..........

My PCP knows what's going on about losing my home. She has offered the services of their social worker. I will probably email her to get me in touch with the social worker.

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Response to Fla Dem (Reply #2)

Wed Nov 30, 2016, 04:29 PM

5. Brother came through.......n//t

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Response to mrmpa (Reply #5)

Wed Nov 30, 2016, 06:12 PM

9. Hallelujah. I know it's not ideal, but at least you have a roof over your head.

Good for your brother. Good luck to you. I hope your circumstances change for the better in the new year.

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Response to mrmpa (Original post)

Wed Nov 30, 2016, 04:42 PM

8. I'm really glad your brother came through!

So move into his man cave, and start researching what options are open to you, as the other poster suggested.

Hopefully you can store your insulin at your friend's place. Or is there room in the man cave for your s/s refrigerator?

Best of luck to you!

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Response to CaliforniaPeggy (Reply #8)

Wed Nov 30, 2016, 08:22 PM

10. The man cave has..........

TV, couch, computer, bathroom (with shower) refrigerator. I have full access to the 1st floor, patio/sunroom, backyard and the dog. I will take my coffee make,r plug that in & life will be okay.

He's buying the refrigerator from me.

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Response to mrmpa (Reply #10)

Wed Nov 30, 2016, 08:44 PM

11. I am so glad!

And I am really sorry for all you are going through!

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Response to mrmpa (Reply #10)

Wed Nov 30, 2016, 08:56 PM

12. That sounds great!

I think you will be quite comfortable while you're there.

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