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Mon Apr 25, 2016, 08:01 PM

Is saying thank you out of style???

My god son and he is also my nephew and his family, 3 kids, and his wife, NEVER, ever say thank you for anything we've given them. Money for each birthday, and money for their anniversary as examples. Today it really ticked me off. My nephew's wife was in a car accident a couple of days ago. Thank gawd she wasn't hurt. We sent $1000.00 to them and when I told them last Friday they'd be receiving it today, could they let me know when they receive it, as I was a tad nervous of mailing it through UPS. So, I just texted him to see if he received it, and he said oh yes, and that it was very appreciated. I guess I just feel a tad slighted that THEY didn't let us know until we asked them if they had received it. Is that wrong??

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Response to a kennedy (Original post)

Mon Apr 25, 2016, 08:05 PM

1. Shouldn't be,

but I sometimes have thoughts similar to yours.

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Response to a kennedy (Original post)

Mon Apr 25, 2016, 08:24 PM

2. WTF is wrong with them

they should have called and sent a card

disgusting

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Response to a kennedy (Original post)

Mon Apr 25, 2016, 10:27 PM

3. Damned young whippersnappers. Got no manners.

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Response to a kennedy (Original post)

Mon Apr 25, 2016, 10:42 PM

4. i would have called right away

i'd be ticked, too.

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Response to a kennedy (Original post)

Tue Apr 26, 2016, 12:15 AM

5. Given the circumstances, I might cut them some slack...

Even if no injury, an accident like that can upset people.

Should they have called you? Yeah, sure. But it might be the wrong time to make a case of it.

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Response to Wounded Bear (Reply #5)

Tue Apr 26, 2016, 11:50 AM

12. Well maybe if they normally said thank you.

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Response to a kennedy (Original post)

Tue Apr 26, 2016, 05:35 AM

6. I taught both my boys to say "thank you". I know I did.

Why they now choose not to say "thank you" is beyond me.

I don't know if it's a generational thing--they are 29 and 26--or whether they think it's not necessary
to thank family or what.

I don't get it. I really don't.

It is annoying.

Glad your nephew's wife is ok.

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Response to mnhtnbb (Reply #6)

Tue Apr 26, 2016, 08:40 AM

8. This is about what I was going to say...

I started getting the boys to write notes when they were very little. First, I did it for them. Then I got them to draw a picture or scrawl a letter. I even ordered the kind where you fill in the blanks. Then I got them to write their own and they did this all the way through graduation. At that point they felt like it was a chore. Now that they are in college, they somewhat reluctantly agreed to send their grandmother a text message. She was thrilled but I still found it kinda sad that they had no interest in writing an actual note.

I rarely get a thank you from anyone. And it's not that I expect one but it's nice to know IF the person actually got what I sent them. I think it's just gone out of style.

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Response to a kennedy (Original post)

Tue Apr 26, 2016, 06:14 AM

7. No, it's not out of style, and I'd let them know you were a little irritated at their

shitty manners.

Don't make a federal case out of it, but do let them know that you weren't raised in a barn and when they act like boors, and don't even ACKNOWLEDGE the transmittal of that large an amount of cash without having to be prodded like a farm animal, it reflects on your family reputation!

Also, let 'em know that if they don't work on the whole "politeness" thing, they can go to some other well when they're thirsty!

We're all hard-wired in my family to Please and Thank You, and if anyone forgets, a half dozen people will bellow "What do you SAY????"

There's no getting away without including the niceties in our household!



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Response to MADem (Reply #7)

Wed Apr 27, 2016, 06:46 PM

18. Yup - if you didn't say thank you in our family

there was a dirty look shot at you that instantly made you feel like you kicked a puppy.

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Response to a kennedy (Original post)

Tue Apr 26, 2016, 09:11 AM

9. What Dear Abby said over and over is still relevent.... stop sending the money and the gifts.

Ok, the money after the accident is one thing, totally understood.

But money and gifts, all it takes is a phone call. A text. An email.... don't even need a stamp.

Keep sending the cards, it's very sweet. But if they ask where the checks and gifts are, speak your mind, kindly and gently.

Maybe they won't even ask. That would be interesting.

Or you could do the 'made a donation in your name' thing to a charitable organization that really needs, wants and appreciates your money and gifts and, let them know.

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Response to a kennedy (Original post)

Tue Apr 26, 2016, 10:24 AM

10. No, but "you're welcome" has become "no problem"

Since when was something rating a thanks problematic?

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Response to IDemo (Reply #10)

Tue Apr 26, 2016, 10:47 AM

11. I have no problem with "no problem."

There are a lot of long-time acceptable ways to reply to "thank you" which essentially are saying that no thanks is necessary, like
- "Think nothing of it."
- "De nada."
- "It was nothing."
- "Don't mention it."

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Response to IDemo (Reply #10)

Wed Apr 27, 2016, 06:44 PM

17. for some reason I am very uncomfortable with "you're welcome"

No idea why - it feels (as far as me saying it, not hearing it) like I am being pompous. So I prefer a nod, a smile, no problem - something like that.

I don't mind hearing it - I just weird saying it

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Response to a kennedy (Original post)

Tue Apr 26, 2016, 03:24 PM

13. Face it. They're just plain rude

And I think that saying thank you is actually coming back in style.

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Response to a kennedy (Original post)

Tue Apr 26, 2016, 03:45 PM

14. Time to cut them off

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Response to a kennedy (Original post)

Tue Apr 26, 2016, 04:29 PM

15. No, it is not out of style.

It is rude not to say "thank you".

On a lesser note, it is also NOT going out of style to use "an" before a word that begins with a vowel, something that I find ever increasingly happening with texting, etc.

It is "AN" apple; not "A" apple. Ugh!!!!!

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Response to a kennedy (Original post)

Wed Apr 27, 2016, 06:42 PM

16. Thank you is never out of style

My grandparents taught me to say thank you and my mom did too (except she never said it herself, just made sure I thanked her all the time for being born, having food, etc)

I am 40 something and enjoy sending out thank you's. But I also send our rent check in a card with a quick note to our landlord, when I switched dentists because of insurance I sent them a thank you card... I may have sent a thank you for a nice thank you card I received.

My biggest pet peeve is people who only thank "up" not "down" - you know only thank people in they believe to be in positions above them - bosses, managers, etc but never what they perceive to be beneath them - children, cashiers, wait staff, etc.

I think that is worse than not thanking at all - if you don't thank anyone at least you are an equal opportunity jerk

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Response to a kennedy (Original post)

Wed Apr 27, 2016, 09:00 PM

19. We used to have to always remind out kids to say thank you.

Now that they are young adults,they usually say thank you. I think they do it rather than get called out by their mother for no doing it!

It's the little things in life.

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