Let's hear it for clumsy people!! Ow...dang-it

[nadine_mn]

To any fellow klutzes...I salute you for still being around and not having perished in some innocuous accident.

I am extremely clumsy - I hurt myself sitting still. I have had so many random bruises, cuts, scratches and burns I don't bother trying to figure out how I got them. My dogs and cat have lightning quick reflexes (even in advanced years) to get out of the way when I am working on a craft project or cooking. My husband can recognize the kind of fall I am having by the type of "whoop" I make.

There is a long standing joke in my family that I lose my balance and fall down while standing still...no wind, no one pushing me. I thought they were joking until I actually paid attention on my way to the ground and realized they were right. My dear husband didn't believe it either - until one night in the grocery store parking lot he saw me flailing my arms. He asked, "Are you dancing?" (he doesn't get out much) and I said "No, I just almost fell".

"But you were just standing still"

"I know - I tried to warn you about this".

We have no matching dish sets - because I have broken them all - just a few survivors from sets past, bearing scratches and chips as proud battle scars. Glass glasses - ha! Gave up on those early in the marriage. We have a couple, but I can't be trusted to wash them.

I sit here and type this, after knocking over random stuff on my way to the bathroom to wash my paint covered hands from a misc craft project and wonder are there others like me?

There are some bonuses to being clumsy - I never get asked to hold a baby, I have learned to fall in ways that minimize injury (just go limp is the best advice - don't try to fight gravity), and I have some great stories.

So much attention is giving to those blessed with natural grace...pfft the clumsy are the ones should be applauded for not setting the world on fire (yet)

[TexasBushwhacker]

1. Me too!

If there is something to stumble over, I will find it (rather my feet will). My pediatrician called me a wild Indian because every time my mother brought me in, I had at least one Band-aid somewhere on my body.

Then there was popcorn. I went through a period where every time we bought popcorn at the movies, I would spill it. After a few times there was a "Don't give PJ the popcorn!" rule.

I am living proof that gravity isn't a theory. I've even face planted on concrete - TWICE! What a bloody mess. Concussions, but thankfully no broken bones.

[nadine_mn]

4. I love the don't give PJ popcorn rule

It's hilarious the random things that prove to be our nemesis.

Ouch to the face plant on concrete - I cringe just thinking about it. I have been lucky with only 2 broken bones - my ankle from tripping UP a flight of stairs and more recently I broke my hand on an exercise bike...one of those elliptical ones with the arm thingies - smacked my hand on that while biking.

[jomin41]

2. In addition to my natural lack of grace,

I now have peripheral neuropathy in my feet. The dying nerves of course affect my balance so I walk like a drunk. I even stand like a drunk (weaving). I can trip over a blade of grass. Watch Out!

[nadine_mn]

5. Oh I am so sorry about your feet

Are there treatments that help with pain?

That just sounds dangerous - mixing lack of grace with nerve damaged feet. Have you thought about encasing yourself in bubble wrap? I think it about all the time - so even if I fall I won't get too hurt and can make fun popping noises as I roll around trying to get up.

[NV Whino]

3. This has the makings of a great short story

Not to make light of your dilemma .

[nadine_mn]

6. Aww thanks for that! nt

[Bertha Venation]

7. Righteous, Nadine.

Excellent rant! :win:

[fizzgig]

8. it is a good thing my mama didn't name me grace

i tripped over a plastic floor mat three years ago and fractured my ankle and slipped on a rock and fractured my elbow last year.

i drop shit, i spill shit, i whack my hands and elbows on random shit. i've given up on trying to remember how i got the bruises.