July 25th, 1974. A date that will live in obscurity (except for two of us)

[DFW]

A reposting of sorts from a year ago. I can't believe it has been one whole year since then:

Forty-one years ago today, in a dark, smoky cabaret in what was then West Berlin, a woman from Münster in Westfalen told me she was leaving for China the next day, but that I should meet her girlfriend from up north. I said, sure, where is she? She leaned back, and said, "right here."

The beautiful vision I saw nearly took my breath away, And, nerd that I was, I figured I would never have a chance with a woman like that. But then I thought, if I took that attitude my whole life, I indeed never WOULD have a chance with a woman like that. So I started talking to her, and lo and behold, she liked talking to me, too. She had never met an American before (at least not one that spoke her language). And that, as the saying goes, was that.

We've gone through some hoops to get here (cancer, heart issues, bureaucratic BS, etc.), but we've had some good times, too. Attractive, intelligent children, great parents, and some wild luck in making some friendships that may seem a little out of the ordinary.

Totally in the dark about what the future would bring in 1974, now forty-one years later, we figure we'll milk our time left for what we can, be it forty-one more years or forty-one more minutes. One thing is for sure: if you had told us that night in Berlin what the future held in store for the two of us, we would have both told you that whatever it is you were smoking, you were smoking too much of it.

In the beginning, there was an unsuspecting teenager in the flat farmland of northwestern Germany, never imagining that her life was soon to be disrupted a few years later by yours truly:
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Then, it was the two of us.....

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A double wedding with my brother....
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Pregnant with our first:
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Which led to a couple of daughters along the way......
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....who came to hang with interesting people.....
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...but are interesting in their own right......
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Some happy times.....
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And some friends to remind us that things can change in a single instant....
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In Budapest, 2012 (never a dull moment--and barely any kind of moment):
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In Maine with a daughter and a friend the day after the christening of a ship named after the father of good friends of ours:
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But at the end of the day, you play the hand that fate deals you. We've been more fortunate than many. It's been a nice ride, and we still have each other after ALL that crazy stuff that never would have occurred if we both hadn't been in that smoky joint in Germany forty-one years ago. If it all ends tomorrow, no one can take that away from us.

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That long, strange trip is nowhere near being completed..........

[In_The_Wind]

1. Happy anniversary!

to many more!

[Ron Obvious]

2. Happy Anniversary!

I always enjoy stories of wedded bliss like this. We're 10 years behind you, but hell, what's 10 years? It flies by.

[DFW]

6. Well, you'll never catch up, but ten years DOES fly by

Today is the anniversary of when we met. We didn't get married until 8 years later, and that was in April. It was my brother who invited us to our wedding. Well, originally he was inviting us to HIS wedding, but when he found out we both would be there, he said why don't you join in the fun. We thought, hey, no arrangements to make. Deal! Double wedding it was. Who has the time to arrange all that kind of stuff?

[elleng]

3. Happy Anniversary!

Happy Life!

Keep up the good work!!!

[dixiegrrrrl]

4. So, when is the book coming out?

You ARE gonna write one, yes?

congratulations on such a lovely and I suspect wickedly smart family.!

[DFW]

5. Check your PM! n/t

[CaliforniaPeggy]

7. Congrats, my dear DFW!

I love your picture essays and the wonderful details that accompany them!

You two have been very lucky and how good is that???

May you have many more years...








WHAT book?

[DFW]

20. Whaddya mean WHAT book?

The one you already know! LOL!!

I haven't finished the second one yet. Maybe by the time I get to L.A. next year?

[CaliforniaPeggy]

25. Oh, OK. I thought maybe that was the case!

That would be so cool if you're done by next year.

[DFW]

26. I hope so

I thought I'd get some time here on vacation to get some more of it done, but Mother Nature is being tricky and has blessed us with two solid weeks of fabulous weather. Who wants to stay inside when the sun and the sea are at our doorstep?

[CaliforniaPeggy]

27. Go outside and have a great time!

You can always write when it's raining!

[steve2470]

8. Happy Anniversary, my friend

You and your wife are an inspiration to all happily coupled people everywhere. Hope you two have a great day!

[DFW]

22. We did, thanks Steve!

As a special treat, our daughters took us and my best friend, who is up here, too, out to dinner at one of our favorite places in Provincetown. It's not cheap, though by no means the most expensive place here, and it is one of our favorites. Since one of my daughters now has a higher salary than mine, and I'm sure she picked up 90% of the tab, our conscience is clean--especially considering the fact that I blew my entire cash inheritance (got to keep some books and a painting) on their American educations!! But it was still one of the best investments I ever made.

[artislife]

9. Sweet.

[WinstonSmith4740]

10. Happy Anniversary!

I suspect many of us here at DU share the early '70's as a time we met the love of our life!

[DFW]

19. Well, not those who were born afterwards!

But for plenty of us, that's for sure!

[passiveporcupine]

11. It's a date to cherish, that's for sure

Your wife is stunning, and I bet you are as good looking as your brother, but it's hard to tell with all that hair on your face.

What do you do, that you get to mingle with all these well known people...I mean like Presidents too?

Happy anniversary of meeting the love of your life and a new beginning of a wonderful journey.

[DFW]

14. That's a legitimate question

It's less dramatic that you might think. I'm not an under-director of the CIA or anything.

My father was a very distinguished (but very un-celebrity-seeking) print journalist in Washington from 1950 to 2000. His last column, which I have posted on DU before as an inspiration to all those with potentially (or definitely) fatal diseases, or people who know people who have them. His last column appeared 8 days before he departed this world. He represented a one-horse town on the St. Lawrence Seaway in Upstate New York, and had to know every politician from the Great Lakes states for his articles. Think about that for a second. Thomas Dewey, Gerry Ford, Hugh Scott, Phil Hart, Bobby Kennedy, Jake Javits, Everett Dirksen, Hubert Humphrey, Fritz Mondale, Nelson Rockefeller, and then ALL the Senators and Congressmen that knew the others. Frank Church, the progressive Senator from Idaho (can you believe there ever was such a thing?) used to come out to our house in Virginia, as did Charlie Goodell, the guy Spiro Agnew hated with a passion. Plus he was on Nixon's 1959 trip to Russia, and knew Nixon well (VERY funny story about him--for another time if you want to hear it). My first time in the White House was when JFK was president because a cousin of my dad's was Caroline's tutor. The first time I met a sitting president was LBJ because my dad was invited to a reporter-and-son press conference at the White House in the mid sixties. His mom was involved in progressive politics in New York in the 1940s, served a labor adviser to legendary mayor LaGuardia, later got kicked out for being too pro-labor. She was an early supporter of the Minneapolis mayor, then trying for a Senate seat (Humphrey). We've known the "Minnesota mafia" ever since. Helen Thomas was a close colleague of his for decades, so I knew her for nearly 50 years.

My dad passed in 2000, but not before having attained the presidency of the Gridiron Club, an elite organization of journalists that puts on a roast of the whole US government once a year. The president of that gets to bring his family to meet the President and VP of the USA. I haven't seen Al Gore much since then (1995) but WJC and I have sort of kept in touch sporadically. Closer friends of his than I meet up once a year (Veroncia Biggins, Phil Lader, Chelsea's mom-in-law, etc.). These occasions are also where I met Howard Dean back when he was "Howard Who?" as well as many other political and media types. We got to be friends with some MSNBC people as well, and see Krystal Ball and Myke Kandel regularly when we are in NYC. Same goes for "Good Morning Vietnam" legend Adrian Cronauer, who most people wouldn't recognize if they tripped over him in the street. He is NOTHING like the Robin Williams portrayal of him in the film, by the way. Adrian is soft-spoken, highly intellectual, and (of all things) a Republican. His IQ is about double mine, so it was no use trying to talk him out of it.

While in college in Washington DC, my younger daughter interned with EMILY's List, where Senator Barack Obama was a regular visitor. I attended one of their yearly things in May, and my daughter introduced me around. That was the first time I met Obama as well.

My only work-related acquaintance of the bunch here, ironically enough, is Marvel Comics legend Stan Lee. Since my work is almost all in Europe, South America and Asia, meeting up with a guy who rarely leaves Southern California these days might seem weird. But my immediate superior knows him well, and when my wife and I flew to L.A. to see our elder daughter get her associate degree from FIDM, he said we should have lunch with Stan Lee. I said, sure, right, THE Stan Lee was just going to have lunch with the likes of me. But he did set it up, and Stan at heart is still the jovial sassy-mouthed Brooklyn kid he grew up as. We got along great, and we stayed friends ever since, met up a few times, though I rarely get to California any more these days. He even helped me a little with my book, and gave me one of the greatest lines as a plug (it's on the back cover). If his health holds (he'll be 93 this December), and mine does as well, I hope to see him again next year when I have to be out there next (Peggy, be forewarned!!).

My brother is better-looking than I am, but the beard stays. I have a condition of overly-sensitive skin (Arafat had it, too) that makes me turn red like a boiled lobster if I shave. I refuse to keep it a permanent short stubble by using nail clippers, like Arafat did, so I just let grow out. I have been mistaken for both a Taliban member and a Rabbi (I adhere to neither faith), but there was no way I was going to be presentable to pretty girls (my condition got really bad starting at age 18) if I looked like a failed version of Batman's Joker. So I let it grow out, and had the good fortune to meet and marry a woman who, even at our current age of 63, remains, as you pointed out, stunning.

Good thing our girls got HER genes, eh?

[passiveporcupine]

16. Well you definitely could write a who's who book

You said you wrote a book...is that mentioned in your journal here? I'm still just getting to know people around here, even though I've been pretty much reading DU since it started.

I was joking about your brother too...you are a very good looking man who has aged with dignity.

[DFW]

17. I don't think I've updated any info about me on DU in 8 years!

So, no info there about the book, but I did send you a PM about it.

[passiveporcupine]

18. Thanks, got it

[Kaleva]

12. Happy Anniversary!!

[DFW]

24. kiitos!

This is assuming that flag is there for a reason!

[MicaelS]

13. My friend you are truly blessed.

Best wishes to you and your lovely family.

[DFW]

15. You never get everything you want

But I got the most important thing anyone could want, and that's plenty.

[Xipe Totec]

21. What a lovely, loving post. nt

[DFW]

23. It's a little late to do a "whatever does she see in me?" post

After 41 years, I just post how happy I am we met and that after all this time, she's still with me.

[blue neen]

28. Great story, lovely couple, fascinating photos.

The one with Howard Dean and Helen Thomas is especially cool.

I'd love to hear about your book....

[DFW]

29. I'll send you a PM link to the book. As for Howard and Helen, read on.....

You can probably get enough information about it to decide whether you want to read it or not. California Peggy has read, as have a couple of others on DU. She can tell you about it if you want an unbiased opinion. I think it's the greatest work of literature since War and Peace. Peggy just declared War and told me to leave her in peace. (well, OK, not really)

I had been trying to set up a meet with Howard and Helen for years. When I found out the two had never met, I kept calling and emailing to find a day when we'd all be in the same city at the same time. Finally, in the summer of 2010 it worked. My brother and I picked Helen up at her home, and met Howard at one of his favorite places in downtown Washington. She took to Howard instantly and gave him one of her finest compliments (he's not a politician!). We tried for an encore at Helen's favorite place, Mama Ayesha's off of Conn. Ave., but her health failed before I could get Howard to find room in his schedule for another meal together. At least we got the one time together, and I remember handing Helen a note from another DUer that she wanted me to hand Helen personally. I never found out what was in it!! I still see Howard on a regular basis, of course, but we lost Helen a couple of years ago.

[DFW]

30. After our celebration dinner at our favorite place (The Mews)

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[panader0]

31. Beautiful DFW

but I thought you were going to say September 7th.

[DFW]

32. That's obscure even to me

At least the imperial Japanese navy chose December 7th--gave FDR something memorable to put in his speech!

But even Stan Lee stole the line last time we had a lunch date. When we agreed on July 31, he wrote back to confirm it as "a date which will live in infamy!" For a 90+ year old guy, he never misses a line!

[panader0]

33. Well, it wasn't obscure to Ro-BAIR Packard....

(plus, it's my birthday)

[DFW]

34. Wow, you DID read my book!!!

And I didn't even know it was your birthday at the time!

[Phentex]

35. Happy Anniversary!

and here's to many more!

[shenmue]

36. Mazel tov

[DFW]

43. An Israeli friend finally told me what that really means

So.........תּוֹדָה רַבָּה

[Fla Dem]

37. Wow! What a life. May you have many more just as awesome ahead of you. nt

[DFW]

38. We could use just a little less frantic, to tell you the truth, but thanks!

From July 10th, when we left for North America, we'll have logged in about 22000 miles before we get home in September.

If this keeps up, I may have to curtail my plans not to retire before I hit 85.........

[MADem]

39. You have a beautiful family!!!! Enjoy the next chapter!!!! nt

[DFW]

40. Thanks, MADem!

I lucked out in the personal life department, no two ways about it.

The next chapter--who knows where THAT will take us? Or how long it will last?

But we're ready!

[oldandhappy]

41. Beautiful post.

Thank you for the photos. Nice to 'see' you. Congratulations on a life well lived and on all the joy of your family. Well done.

[DFW]

42. Thanks!

The post, celebrating something positive, intentionally leaves out all the trials, setbacks and tears we all have to go through at some point or another. But that's the point: what matters is what's on the other side of the trials, setbacks and tears, because life is one depressing trip if there never IS anything on the other side.

[azmom]

44. Great pics. Happy anniversary.

[DFW]

45. Thanks, azmom!

Technically, it is the anniversary of when we met. We didn't actually get married until 8 years later, and if my brother hadn't invited us to our wedding, we probably still wouldn't have found time for it.