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Sat Mar 21, 2015, 11:50 PM

Chinese food delivery follies...

Guy I know on another board delivers Chinese food, in Madison.

So he ends up dealing with a lot of college kids.
(Suffice to say, they are hardly ever good tippers)

Here's his fun from tonight...


Tonights March Madness bullshit continued, just not as heavy as last nights. Only 6 runs, all at the University, every single one a paltry tipper. Total take for my efforts, $3.40.

BUT, the last run of the night was totally worth the bullshit I faced tonight.

Pre-paid order, total of $27.60, Captain Generous pre-tipped a whopping 40 cents!!!

I get to the door, ratty older building, beer cans littering everywhere inside and outside. Locked entry door easily lets me in without effort, I hike up to the second floor to the room.

knock knock knock

I hear somebody at the door, peeking out the peephole as the hole darkens.

I still stand there.

knock knock knock

I now hear whispered voices inside...and the word...Police.

Now I hear scrambling from inside, people running around about inside, and now a toilet flushing. And another toilet flushing.

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK!!!

More running about inside, the toilets are flushed a second time, more hushed voices in a panic...I smell....Entertainment about to happen.

POUND POUND POUND POUND!!!

Another toilet flushing is heard, NOW the door opens, some blurry eyed putz opens it and looks at me with a fake smile and a "Yes Off.....!!!" The guys eyes widen!!

"SHIT!!! YOU'RE NOT A COP!!!"

I just smile and say "You really just now figure this out? Heres your food!!"

The guy now screams at the others "YOU FUCKERS!!! The guy is NOT POLICE!! WE JUST WASTED ALL THAT SHIT FOR NOTHING!!! FUCK!!!"

"Oh and thanks for that generous tip of 40 cents!" as I hand him the food.. Dumbass snaps back "YOU KNOW HOW MUCH SHIT THEY FLUSHED THINKING YOU WERE A DAMN COP?! HOW EXPENSIVE THAT WAS?!"

"Nope, don't care!" Then I South Park Mr Garrison back "Drugs are bad M'kay?"

All I hear going down the stairs is more yelling from inside the apartment, and various neighbors looking out their doors.

Yeah, that was well worth the bullshit tonight!

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