Antisocial is Bad, so they say.

[Quartermass]

But I want to know, what is so bad about being antisocial?

[FSogol]

1. You miss out on all the other cool people out there in the world.

You might be perfectly happy eating grilled cheese sandwiches every day, but if you try new things, you might like them too. Don't try and you never know.

[Drale]

2. I was very anti-social for the first 23 years of my life

I really don't have any friends and I've never had a girlfriend and I really feel like I've missed out on a huge chunk of life.

[enough]

3. You might ask this question in the DU "Loners group."

http://www.democraticunderground.com/?com=forum&id=1237

[tridim]

4. It's abnormal according to the normies.

I'm not anti-social, I just prefer to be by myself most of the time.

[geardaddy]

5. Sometimes I don't want to hang out with people.

I suppose if you're always like that, it can be a problem.

[Jackpine Radical]

6. Are you confusing "antisocial" with something like "not very outgoing?"

The two concepts are not at all similar.


Antisocial Personality Disorder

Individuals with this Personality Disorder in their actions regularly disregard and violate the rights of others. These behaviors may be aggressive or destructive and may involve breaking laws or rules, deceit or theft.
A. There is a pervasive pattern of disregard for and violation of the rights of others occurring since age 15 years, as indicated by three (or more) of the following:
1. failure to conform to social norms with respect to lawful behaviors as indicated by repeatedly performing acts that are grounds for arrest
2. deceitfulness, as indicated by repeated lying, use of aliases, or conning others for personal profit or pleasure
3. impulsivity or failure to plan ahead
4. irritability and aggressiveness, as indicated by repeated physical fights or assaults
5. reckless disregard for safety of self or others
6. consistent irresponsibility, as indicated by repeated failure to sustain consistent work behavior or honor financial obligations
7. lack of remorse, as indicated by being indifferent to or rationalizing having hurt, mistreated, or stolen from another.
B. The individual is at least age 18 years.
C. There is evidence of conduct disorder with onset before age 15 years.
D. The occurrence of antisocial behavior is not exclusively during the course of schizophrenia or a manic episode.

[applegrove]

10. Absolutely right Jackpine. Like I love my time alone. I am usually connecting

to some aspect of humanity by reading, watching a movie or tv show or talking online. I just don't need to be talking to someone face to face (which I like to do in short spurts but not long ones).

I had an antisocial personality disorder psychopath in my life and he tried to destroy it. It is the scariest thing. He showed me no mercy. He destroyed my reputation.

Don't promote anti-social as a positive thing when you aren't using the right words, clarity is important.

[montanto]

7. What's bad about it? Nothing.

If you are anti-social you need to learn to make your peace with it. "Sociable" people put a lot of pressure on us to be more like them. You need to have the people around you understand that it is a personality characteristic, not a defect. There are many of us with differing degrees of tolerance for socializing. As for me, most days I can't stand small talk, idle chatter, superficial empathy, interruption, inattentiveness, rambling, meandering topics, sweeping generalizations. All of these things create so much dissonance in my head its like a really loud hum that I just have to walk away from. I think some "anti-social" people really want to socialize, but on a different level than most other people are willing to do. Anyway, there isn't anything "wrong" with it beyond wishing it were different.

[A Brand New World]

8. The problem is when anti-social people want those involved in their lives to be as they are.

My daughter-in-law has social anxiety disorder and can't interact with others on even the most basic level. She's only worked at the most 6 months in her life and was home-schooled prior to that. She is now insisting that my son have nothing to do with us, even though they live 3000 miles from us and we only saw them once a year for a few hours. Along with that is no contact either with our 4 grandkids. No phone calls are even allowed. It's sad.

[montanto]

9. Yeah, that is terrible. Sounds like

something a little deeper than being a "failed joiner." Some sort of paranoia that would require therapy. It is hard to tell from the O.P. just how deep the issue is. Certainly in a case like the one you mention I wouldn't recommend to others that they simply accept it. I guess there is a lot of latitude in the term "anti-social" too.

[Your Son]

11. She didn't make me, you did.

Hi, Mom. Don't you remember telling me "At this point, it's probably best that we don't have contact until things are better."? I was trying to get you to understand how you've compounded her social anxiety over the years. But I guess you still blame her upbringing -- which she had no control over. We have been doing well, but seeing this today on a forum has got me pretty upset. You should heed what montanto said, it is very much what she feels. Love, Your Son

@montanto: There is a difference between anti-social personality disorder (a sociopath) and social phobia. You're describing social phobia/social anxiety disorder, which is what my wife has.

[Tobin S.]

12. Don't worry about the forum, man

Nobody here knows who you or your mom is. This sounds like something you two need to work out.