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KamaAina

(78,249 posts) Thu Sep 4, 2014, 12:45 PM Sep 2014

3

God Knocked Unconscious By DirectTV Satellite

http://www.theonion.com/articles/god-knocked-unconscious-by-directtv-satellite,36752/

THE HEAVENS—Noting that He was a little shaken but would be all right, sources confirmed Friday that the Lord God Almighty, Our Heavenly Father, was struck by a DirecTV satellite approximately 22,000 miles above earth, rendering Him unconscious for several minutes. “Whoa! How long was I out?” God said to a host of concerned seraphim moments after the four-ton satellite impacted near His right temple while traveling at roughly 6,900 miles per hour. “Man, I must have let My mind wander—that thing really came out of nowhere. I didn’t see it at all.” As of press time, Heavenly sources confirmed that the deity had fully returned to omniscience.

6 replies

= new reply since forum marked as read

Highlight:

God Knocked Unconscious By DirectTV Satellite (Original Post) KamaAina Sep 2014 OP

Dish Network for me only, Throckmorton Sep 2014 #1

Well, good thing He's back on duty. progressoid Sep 2014 #2

... KamaAina Sep 2014 #3

Bwahahahaha progressoid Sep 2014 #5

that cartoon still cracks me up.... joeybee12 Sep 2014 #6

The Allmighty needs to move to a gated community for protection. Arugula Latte Sep 2014 #4

Throckmorton

(3,579 posts)

1. Dish Network for me only,

Reply to KamaAina (Original post)

Thu Sep 4, 2014, 01:23 PM

Sep 2014

they never hurt god.

progressoid

(49,978 posts)

2. Well, good thing He's back on duty.

Reply to KamaAina (Original post)

Thu Sep 4, 2014, 02:01 PM

Sep 2014

He's got a lot of football game winners to decide.

KamaAina

(78,249 posts)

3. ...

Reply to progressoid (Reply #2)

Thu Sep 4, 2014, 02:04 PM

Sep 2014

progressoid

(49,978 posts)

5. Bwahahahaha

Reply to KamaAina (Reply #3)

Thu Sep 4, 2014, 02:05 PM

Sep 2014

joeybee12

(56,177 posts)

6. that cartoon still cracks me up....

Reply to KamaAina (Reply #3)

Thu Sep 4, 2014, 02:12 PM

Sep 2014

Arugula Latte

(50,566 posts)

4. The Allmighty needs to move to a gated community for protection.

Reply to KamaAina (Original post)

Thu Sep 4, 2014, 02:04 PM

Sep 2014

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