Haribo Gummy Candy, Sugarless Gummy Bears: Get them for someone you hate

[MrScorpio]

http://www.amazon.com/Haribo-Gummy-Candy-Sugarless-5-Pound/dp/B000EVQWKC/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1389858285&sr=8-1&keywords=haribo+sugar+free+gummi+bears

Important Information
Safety Warning

Consumption of some sugar-free candies may cause stomach discomfort and/or a laxative effect. Individual tolerance will vary. If this is the first time you’ve tried these candies, we recommend beginning with one-fourth of a serving size or less. Made with Lycasin, a sugar alcohol. As with other sugar alcohols, people sensitive to this substance may experience upset stomachs.

The Review:

Just don't. Unless it's a gift for someone you hate.
By C. Torok on October 3, 2012

Amazon Verified Purchase

Oh man...words cannot express what happened to me after eating these. The Gummi Bear "Cleanse". If you are someone that can tolerate the sugar substitute, enjoy. If you are like the dozens of people that tried my order, RUN!

First of all, for taste I would rate these a 5. So good. Soft, true-to-taste fruit flavors like the sugar variety...I was a happy camper.

BUT (or should I say BUTT), not long after eating about 20 of these all hell broke loose. I had a gastrointestinal experience like nothing I've ever imagined. Cramps, sweating, bloating beyond my worst nightmare. I've had food poisoning from some bad shellfish and that was almost like a skip in the park compared to what was going on inside me.

Then came the, uh, flatulence. Heavens to Murgatroyd, the sounds, like trumpets calling the demons back to Hell...the stench, like 1,000 rotten corpses vomited. I couldn't stand to stay in one room for fear of succumbing to my own odors.

But wait; there's more. What came out of me felt like someone tried to funnel Niagara Falls through a coffee straw. I swear my sphincters were screaming. It felt like my delicate starfish was a gaping maw projectile vomiting a torrential flood of toxic waste. 100% liquid. Flammable liquid. NAPALM. It was actually a bit humorous (for a nanosecond)as it was just beyond anything I could imagine possible.

AND IT WENT ON FOR HOURS.

I felt violated when it was over, which I think might have been sometime in the early morning of the next day. There was stuff coming out of me that I ate at my wedding in 2005.Read more ›

[NV Whino]

1. Maybe they should market it as colonoscopy prep.

Just don't eat the red ones.

[Xyzse]

2. Was reading about that yesterday.

That is a much tastier cleansing option.

Some of the reviews mentioned it is good for cancer patients too who are suffering from constipation.

If I do consider trying a detox, I may just go for this. It is much cheaper than any of the other options out there.

[tavernier]

3. Sweat/perspiration smells foul as well

although you may not have been aware as you were on the 12th level of hell when you started sweating.

[LynneSin]

4. You know I posted this about 3 days ago

Just saying!

[MrScorpio]

5. Missed that

But I had to share

[LynneSin]

6. I didn't even read what you posted in the Message Text

last time I read those reviews I think I laughed so hard I piddled just a tiny bit.

Since I'm at work that is not something I want to do. But those reviews are amazingly funny!

[magical thyme]

7. the reviews are hysterical!

and I love the suggestion to send gifts of them to certain senators and reps