Dedicated to MiddleFingerMom

[SCantiGOP]

Article on Willie Nelson in the latest Rolling Stone, and he tells the following:

Guy goes to see his doctor for his annual physical. Doctor walks in and says, "Well, for one thing, you're going to have to stop masturbating." The guy says "Why would you say that?" Doctor replies, "Because otherwise I can't examine you."

[ZombieHorde]

1. Awesome! nt

[dixiegrrrrl]

2. LOL!!!!

[LeftofObama]

3. ROFLMAO!!

[Arugula Latte]

4. On that note ...

An old guy goes to the doctor and says "Dr., I don't know what's wrong with me, my dick is orange."

The Dr. tells him to pull down his pants and let him take a look. He has no idea what is wrong so he asks the guy if he has recently painted anything orange. The old man said "No."

The Dr. thinks for a minute and then asks the guy if he has recently been exposed to any chemicals at work.

The old man said "No, I'm retired."

The Dr. then asks the guy if he could have been working with any chemicals in his garage.

The old man replied "No Dr., I told you, I'm retired. All I do is sit around all day, watch pornos and eat Cheetos...

[UTUSN]

5. I don't get it. But Kathie Lee told this one two weeks ago.

Over in the Riviera or S. France or whatever, where the women sunbathe topless and the rich old men wear speedos, this rich old man paraded up and down the beach and got *nothing*.

So he asked an old fisherman at the pier, "What happened, I got nothing!1" And the old fisherman at the pier said, "There's a market over there, buy a potato and put it down your speedo." So the rich old dude did it and paraded up and down the beach, and now everybody RAN AWAY!1

So the rich old dude said to the old fisherman, "I did everything you told me to and now everybody ran way!1"

And the old man said, "Put it in FRONT!1"

[BlueJazz]

8. LOL!

[BainsBane]

6. MFM is now famous

His own interview in Rolling Stone!

[MiddleFingerMom]

7. A doctor at the hospital actually DID tell me I'd have to stop masturbating long enough for an exam.

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I asked for another doctor.
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