What to you like/dislike being called by local salespeople or waiters? I was called sweetie by

[applegrove]

my waiter tonight. I loved it. I also lived for a time in a small city where clerks called everyone 'hon'. I loved that too. Then there is Nova Scotia where any male is called 'buddy'.... a newspaper article will describe a character doing and break and enter and say in the paper "buddy tried to run but then he was caught by the police". I guess they all imply a little positive familiarity and I like it when strangers treat each other that way.

[ohiosmith]

1. Asshole! Don't like it at all.

[applegrove]

2. LOL!

[Xipe Totec]

3. A barista called me honey yesterday

I said: A tall late, and thank you for calling me honey.

She blushed and could not meet my eyes again...

[Ron Obvious]

4. Dude

I don't mind being called 'hon', or 'honey' by waitresses in the south. In fact, I rather find it endearing. However, I was once called on the phone by a banker who wanted me to invest in something. We talked briefly (this was before caller ID, obviously), and then he switched from "Mr. Obvious" and "sir" to ""all right, dude", and I went off on him. Hard.

It's not that I object to being called "dude", you see. It was the sudden change of respect from being taken seriously to getting treated like the gormless 16-year-old son of the household who must have accidentally answered the phone that annoyed me.

Maybe most Americans wouldn't see what I mean by that.

[cyberswede]

5. When they use my first name

...like when they see it on my check or debit card.

If it's a local merchant that I know personally, then it's ok, of course.

[Denninmi]

7. Yup, it's particularly amusing when you aren't the person in question.

For several years, we were the trustee for a disabled man, and part of my job was to make bank deposits from time to time of checks he received. It was quite funny to have the teller look at me and say "Thank you for banking with us today, Bob" -- to which I'd say, "I'm not Bob, I'm just the gopher."

[unapatriciated]

46. many companies require you to thank a customer by name if it appears on their check or receipt.

I used to work for Safeway and it was required. They would do "secret shops" and if you did not thank by name you were given what they called a "No Shop" this would affect your review and raise. There were a list of things that were expected of you during your interaction with the customer and if you missed just one it was a "No Shop".

[Doc Holliday]

6. Bartenders

do this too me...the "sweetie" or "hon" thing, which doesn't bother me too much if I actually know the bartender. If I don't know them, that's different...having managed a number of bars and clubs in my day, I feel it is most unprofessional.

One bartender of my acquaintance is particularly annoying in this regard...she is prone to call you anything from "sugar" to "my child." I don't know if she's trying to act cool or just has a shitty memory. I try to avoid my watering hole if I know she'll be working.

[siligut]

8. You guys

Seems I am always with someone else when eating out.

[Taverner]

9. I do a double take when she's younger than me

[RZM]

10. 'Chief' or 'Big Guy' are really disrespectful

Haven't been called either in a long time, though I overheard a clerk another customer 'chief' a few weeks ago.

One establishment I refused to patronize after the bartender called me 'big guy.' I thought it odd since we appeared to be of the same build and in the same age range. I told him I thought it was rude and he sort of huffed it off without apologizing. He got no tip.

I was just thinking about this the other day. I should have told the manager

[dawg]

18. It beats ....... "Hoss".

I used to work with a woman whose boyfriend called every other man "Hoss". As in, "What's up, Hoss?"

I am not a "Hoss". What the hell does that even mean?

[UnrepentantLiberal]

11. I read somewhere that a woman didn't like

doctors she didn't see often using her first name like she was a child. Her solution was to get the doctor's first name from his medical diploma that was hanging on the wall and address him that way. After that they would address her as Mrs. _______.

[HopeHoops]

12. "Yo, Dickweed - yeah, you."

I just find that inappropriate. Only my WIFE is allowed to call me a dickweed.

[arbusto_baboso]

30. "Only my FRIENDS call me Pigfucker."

[HopeHoops]

34. And garden gnomes. It's amazing what they get away with.

[rrneck]

13. Baretta's in Memphis

had bar-b-que and spaghetti. The waitresses there had obviously dealt with everything that could be dealt with in the restaurant business. You could walk in there wearing a gorilla suit and juggling three chainsaws and they would just look at you and say, "Waddya want hon?" They should be running the country.

[Wait Wut]

14. Sweetie, hon, honey, sugar, darlin', doll...etc.

Completely unprofessional. Unfortunately, I live in Asshole, AZ where cowboys rule and cowgirls drool over that shit. It's rampant in this town.

I have a name. If you don't know my name a more appropriate way to address me would be ma'am.

[Ter]

42. One woman flipped out on that in a restaurant because she was called ma'am

The hostess was like 18, and she said ma'am to a customer who was around 45-50. The lady said "I'm not that old!" I wanted to say "you are compared to her!"

[Wait Wut]

44. That woman probably would've gone off no matter what.

"Ma'am" is just an informal "madame". At 45 being called "miss" would be inappropriate, although I prefer "miss" to any of the other titles I mentioned. I'm 47.

That woman probably just hates anyone younger than her. I hope you gave that hostess a good tip and an extra smile. I've known and know so many young women that waitress that are single moms or trying to get through school. They bust their asses. I'm not shy when some old hag (state of mind, nothing else) or old fart (same) is rude to wait staff. I'm obnoxious and not afraid to use it.

[libodem]

15. I dated a guy

Who called me "sweetie" all the time. Yucked me out after a while.

Part of the course for nursing assistants, I taught, instructed the students not to use terms of endearment, with residents. Some folks feel diminished by generic description rather than a personal name, in a professional environment.

I don't mind it that much. I nick name everybody. My poor kids. I don't care for mam, now that I clearly am one, instead of a miss.

Interesting question, Applegrove.

And CaliforniaPeggy, can call me 'my dear' anytime.

[nolabear]

16. Where I grew up waitresses call everybody Darlin' or Baby. I love it.

I always know I'm "home" when I get TMI from a waitress who's talking like she's my auntie. Makes me fell taken care of.

[handmade34]

17. I dislike any term of "endearment"

when somebody I don't know uses one to address me... I am most certainly not anybody's hon, or sweetie, or sugar!!!

Ma'am is just fine with me and about the only way to address me politely (or MS XXXXXXXX if it is known)... and I HATE when someone that doesn't know me, calls me by my first name just because they happen to read it on a check or some form!!!


... I have been cooking and baking and taking hot meals to the Occupiers in DC and last night one young occupier kept saying yes ma'am, yes ma'am as I directed her as to what to do with the food I brought...

[AnneD]

19. Even though I live in Texas....

We are part of the South at times. I work with kids so hon and sweetie is often used.

Sometimes the older boy might not like it what with wanting to be macho, so I call them friend or say that was a chuckle head thing you did, depending what they did to end up in my office. I have been known to call them delicate flowers, which always gets a laugh and eases tension. Boy laugh more and girls tend to be sensitive, so I respect that.

I ask permission to sometimes call some of my Hispanic grandparents Abuellos-they love that as it is a sign of loving respect to many and they seldom turn me down.

I use Sir and Ma'am, Mrs. First name, Mr. First name if I know them, last name if I don't which is the standard in k-12 schools.

I never call an African American man a boy, if I am friends I can call my African American women girl, as in you go...I am sensitive to the disrespect, especially what the elders went through-so I ALWAYS give respect to them NO MATTER WHAT.

I seldom make a fuss but I like to be called Nurse Last Name and not just hey Nurse. I worked my butt off and earned that title and it should be respected, thank you very much.

My daughter, niece and nephews get private names or nick names which is a very Native American custom that my family has seemed to continue, although I never thought about it until I started typing this.

Basically, it boils down to being polite and respectful. Sometimes different areas have different rules, but when you are sometimes called something that you may not like, the person may not be conciously be dissing you. Just let him know your preference and move on.

Good topic.

[trof]

20. OK, I'm a geezer, but this gets my knickers in a mild twist.

In a more 'relaxed' situation (restaurants, bars) I don't mind 'terms of endearment'
I live in the Deep South and that's a given here.

But in professional relationships (physician's office personnel in particular) I want to be 'Mister Lastname'.
ESPECIALLY when you get that day-before-your-appointment reminder phone call.

Very perky and bright: "Hi, Firstname?"
"Who is this?"
"Oh, this is Janice from Dr. Smith's office. I'm just calling to remind you of your appointment..."

I only see my doctor about once a year, so please forgive me if I don't recognize Janice's voice.
And since Janice may or may not be the same receptionist/nurse/whatever who was there last year, we don't have a personal close relationship.
So I'd like to keep this on a professional basis and be 'Mr. Lastname'.
Call me stodgy.

What really does get my BVDs knotted is that she doesn't say who she is, first.
I. Just. Hate. That.
Here's what I want to hear:
"This is Janice from Dr. Smith's office. Is this Mr. Lastname?"
Now I know who you are and why you are calling and I will be much more polite to you.
See how nicely that works?

[Lionel Mandrake]

21. We.

As in, "How are we doing today?"

or: "What are we having today?"

My answer: I'm having ... ; I don't know what you're having.

[AsahinaKimi]

22. I think I would enjoy being called

"okyaku-san" in a store or restaurant, in Japantown!

[HappyMe]

23. I hate being called ma'am.

[Doc Holliday]

26. There was a time

when I hated to be called "sir." Oddly, I now find that I don't mind it as much.

I guess a lot depends on social context, voice inflection, degree of familarity, and other variables. Or maybe I'm just not as much of an asshole as I once was about the little things.

[Arkansas Granny]

24. In general, I don't like being called honey, dear or sweetie by people I don't know.

I don't generally make a big deal out of it, especially when it's done in person, but I really hate it when someone does it over the phone.

[Odin2005]

25. Am I bad for liking such terms of endearment?

[applegrove]

27. No. I love it too.

[Doc Holliday]

28. Not at all.

I think it's mostly a matter of temperment. My Damn Yankee wife thinks it's part of Southern hospitality.

[geardaddy]

29. Twat features.

I like it, btw.

[ScreamingMeemie]

31. In defense of the service person (convenience store worker checking in)

I CAN'T HELP IT! Swear to God. "Honey" as in "Have a good day, Honey" slips out all the time. I'm not meaning to demean you or make you feel less about yourself. It doesn't seem to bother people here (NW Houston) but now I'm kind of bummed and insecure about it.

That said... I hate being called "Ma'am". Almost as much as I hated being called "Miss" back in the day. It's irritating in the way that chewing with your mouth open is irritating.

[elleng]

36. I accept your apology,

and you may call me Ma'am ANYTIME!

FUNNY that you and I seem to disagree on this one 100%!

[ceile]

32. Ma'am

I'm not my mother- don't call me "ma'am".

[Iggo]

33. Carl.

It's not my name.

[elleng]

35. Honey.

Thanks for asking.

[Generic Brad]

37. Last year this guy at KFC kept calling me "buddy"

He spoke to me as if we had known each other all our lives despite having never met before.

"What can I do for you, buddy? Regular or extra crispy, buddy? You're my number one buddy."

Then when I was waiting for my order to be filled the next customer approached the counter. He called him "buddy" too. I felt let down. I told my wife - I'm his buddy! That guy should be a Mac!"

[Orrex]

38. When I'm tasing someone, I hate it when they call me "bro."

[applegrove]

43. LOL!

[Pool Hall Ace]

39. Since my husband tends to call me bitch, c*nt, whore, battle-ax, etc.,

it's hard for me to get my knickers in a knot over terms of endearment.

That being said, I hate it when my (female) manager calls me "Babe". I'm not a movie pig, thank you. It's sexist, I know, but men can get away with a lot more.

I despise being called "Ma'am", but I know that most service people mean no harm by it. I have no trouble with sweetie, etc. One time, a cashier called me "Baby Girl". I find that just as offensive as "Ma'am".

[unapatriciated]

47. I didn't know my ex remarried.

[Pool Hall Ace]

48. Yes, I'm wife number 3

but I've learned my lesson!

[Brickbat]

40. My mom got called "luv" by a Beefeater when we were in England, and she loved it.

[Deep13]

41. Like: Mr. ---. Dislike: first name or assumed nickname.

Really, that's anyone I don't know personally or anyone substantially younger than me who is not my relative.

[Rob H.]

45. I don't care for "sir"

I know I'm 43 and have some gray* in my hair and beard, but I don't feel that old.


*Or as a friend calls it, "chrome."