Women of DU (Or parents of daughters)

[ok_cpu]

When did you get your ears pierced - if they are - or when did you take / allow your daughter to have her ears done?

It's a hot debate at our house right now. My sister's were pierced very young - like toddler young. My wife says we should wait until our daughter is in her teens and old enough to decide on her own. Not saying either are right or wrong, or looking for DU to decide. I'm just curious about what I figure will be a wide range of answers.

Full disclosure, I had one pierced in high school but it hasn't seen an earring in a looooong time.

[union_maid]

1. I think I was 15

I let my daughter do it a little younger, I think. Don't remember how old my son was, but he doesn't wear any earrings now. Around here getting really little girls' ears pierced is a cultural thing, still. Certain ethnic groups do it routinely. For the rest it's just a thing that you usually let the kid do around the time that all the other kids are doing it.

[ok_cpu]

2. I think that probably sounds about "average"

There are several in the ok_daughter's elementary class that are already pierced. That's what got her asking.

Being a boy, I had to do the clichéd "not til you're 18" thing.

[trof]

15. About that age for my daughter. Let her make the decision. But personally...

I think it's barbaric.
Reminds me of African tribes with huge hoops and lip plates and neck rings.
I feel the same way about tattoos.
But that's just me.

Defacing your body to display bling.
yuck

[CaliforniaPeggy]

3. I came late to it; I think I was around 40.

It was not the style when I was growing up.

My daughter wanted it when she was a teenager, and I had no problem with it, although her father did. He opposes piercings. I over-rode him and took my daughter to have it done. She needed one parent to consent.

I do not approve of doing it to little little kids. Babies or toddlers.

[ok_cpu]

7. Seems risky when they're that young

Getting them pulled out and all that.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

10. I agree.

Plus, babies burp and spit up, and then you can have infection.

It bothers me.

[sammytko]

48. I've never heard of a baby getting an infection

I have five sisters - all except for me, are wearing earrings in their baby pictures.

Never seemed dangerous. But others pointed out - cultural thing.

Now my mother didn't want us shaving our legs or going on sleepovers - lol.

[tabbycat31]

4. I was 12

What I did not know is that I was allergic to everything and my ears would be infected on an almost daily basis.

I officially gave up at 16 and let them close. I haven't worn earrings since (I am now 33).

[ok_cpu]

13. That doesn't sound like fun at all.

Did yours close all the way up? I haven't had one in in probably 10 years but you can still see the hole. When I put one in last to mess with my son I only had to push it a little through the back. And it had been several years then since I'd worn one.

[tabbycat31]

16. more in one than another

About 10 years ago, I was at the mall with a friend and she tried to get me to repierce my ears then. (of course an adult can afford better earrings than a store like Claire's has to offer) and I said no because I remembered my teenage nightmare.

[distantearlywarning]

5. Age 10

All the little girls in my 4th grade class were getting them done, but my dad thought it was "barbaric". My mom finally talked him into it, but I had to wait until I was 10. I remember getting a pair of post earrings under the tree that Christmas with a note that said, "we'll take you to the mall after New Years to have them done", and I was so excited. Honestly, it was no big deal. My dad was way too worried about it. I've never regretted having them done that young (or at all).

[Chan790]

6. Being neither a parent or a woman, I'd hazard to weigh in.

From what I've been told...there's a right way and a wrong way to do it. The right way requiring a trip to an actual piercing salon where an extremely-sharp hollow-point needle will be used to punch a hole...same as any other piercing. They're going to charge you for their skill, training and expertise...often as much as $35-$50.

The wrong way being the cheap, quick (often free with a purchase) way with a gun and a somewhat-blunt stud typically done by jewelry shops, some salons and Claire's which less makes a hole as tears one. Hurts more, bleeds more, more likely to get infected, less likely to heal right...but it's convenient and cheap and slightly-safer than doing it at home with a sewing needle and an ice cube.

What's the difference otherwise? Pretty much no reputable and licensed piercer at a studio will do it before she's 8-12 depending on the studio's policy with parental consent or 16-18 (depending on local law) without it.

[ok_cpu]

11. Now see, I thought the right way

was two ice cubes and a sewing needle. I got the gun back in the day. With a hideous gold ball for the first couple weeks.

I suppose if you're going to punch a hole in your body, you should pay for a pro.

[davsand]

56. YES! Avoid any piercing that is done with a gun!

My daughter wanted her ears pierced starting at about the age of 11 or 12. I got mine done at about age 13 so I was ok with it. WAY back in the dark ages when I had mine pierced there were no Piercing Pagodas or Claire's so I actually had my ears pierced in a doctor's office. My experience was nothing like what my kid was gonna face.

Once my kid started saying she wanted her ears pierced I started reading and talking to people and I soon realized that the guns they use in the malls are just not sterile. Yes, they get wiped down with something, but they are not autoclaved like the needles are that piercing artists use. An additional attraction was the apprenticeship that piercing artists have. Seems a bit better to me than a 30 minute training video in the back room of a mall store.

In talking to the piercing artist I learned that the type of hole made with their needles is different that the one made by the piercing guns. I'd always figured a hole is a hole, but as it was explained to me, the holes made with piercing guns are more force/mashing as opposed to the ones made by the needles which are more of a slice. One heals faster than the other...

My kid healed right up after her piercing and she's never had issues with infections or anything else.


Laura

[lindysalsagal]

8. 12 or 13. Because earlier isn't really safe, and they have to take care of them.

I wouldn't want to worry about a toddler catching her ear, and an older girl might take it as a signal that she has to dress up for the world. Personally, I feel little girls should just have fun and grow up, not worry about how they look.

12 or 13. Definitely.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

9. I wanted my ears pierced when I was nine. Mother was OK with it but, Father made me wait until I

turned thirteen. For my thirteenth birthday, I got my ears pierced Yay!

[LiberalEsto]

12. I did it as soon as I escaped to college

I let my daughters get them pierced somewhere around middle school.

[Arkansas Granny]

14. I was in my 20's when I had my ears pierced, my daughter was 9 or 10.

She wanted them done and understood that she would have to take care of them so she wouldn't get an infection.

[ok_cpu]

17. Good for her at that age. Sounds like a responsible kid!

Every day I feed the dog that my kids "understood" they would have to take care of.

[Arkansas Granny]

19. LOL. I've had dogs like that, too.

[seabeyond]

18. i think i was 12. not quite a teen and i think htat is why my mom did it. make up at 13.

it was a good choice. and i would do the same with daughter. my brother did with niece.

my other niece as a baby.

nothing wrong with that, but i think there are reasons not to. not about looks little. dont condition them that is their job or worth. and something special walking into teens.

[Kali]

20. my parents wouldn't let me until I was mid-teens and then my Mom took me to the DOCTORS office

my niece/daughter got hers at 13, mall salon. youngest son at the mall too, oldest never did it



I am always reminded of this version of ear piercing that we do ourselves:

[ok_cpu]

64. I would have never thought about the Dr. doing it

Was it like a whole procedure? Did they numb you up?

Wonder if that's covered by the insurance plan.

[Raven]

21. In 1965, my first year in college, When I came home

for Thanksgiving, my father was furious and asked me when I was going to get my nose pierced like a pig. He was really pissed. My mother must have had a little talk with him because when I came home for Christmas, his Cristmas gift to me was a pair of pearl stud pierced earrings. I wear those earrings today and have worn them for the last 40+ years.

[Sekhmets Daughter]

22. Had mine pierced at 17...a long, long time ago....

My daughters were about 5.5 and 7...they wanted to be like mom!

[LadyHawkAZ]

23. I was 11 n/t

[elleng]

24. You raise a sore issue with me.

I never liked earrings on little girls, and wanted to wait. Daughters when young not very insistent. I made my opinion clear, and husband (since separated) took them, when young, to booth at the mall and voila, one day, they come home with it done. I was pissed (and still am, since you reminded me.)

High school would have been OK with me, if they'd wanted it then. As it was, they were somewhere in elementary school. (And of course couldn't properly care for them, so they had to re-do years later, after infections.)

Mine have never been pierced.

[DebJ]

60. That's what happened with my daughter: i made the mistake of

saying ask your father, thinking he would be too much of a tight wad to
put out any money. But darn it, he did!

[R B Garr]

25. I was about 12 or 13 on a trip to my Grandmother's hometown in Germany

and she took me to get my ears pierced somewhere near there in Germany. Looking back, I think it might have been a bit of a move against my mother since they didn't always get along (her mother-in-law). But I don't remember any ill will on my mother's part when I got back so I guess it was okay. In fact, I don't even remember my mom objecting (not that she didn't, I just don't remember). My Grandmother was more than happy to do it. I do remember my mom having a cow about how old I should be when I first shaved my legs more than I remember her opinion of ear piercing. She may have hated it but didn't want to give my Grandmother any satisfaction. They had a pretty tense relationship often.

Good luck to you all whatever you decide.

[pipi_k]

26. Keeps getting earlier

with each generation...

I was about 13 or so.

My daughter was about 6 or 7

My two granddaughters probably 5 or 6

[olddots]

27. Nobody grows up anymore

So who's to say ----I have clue since we went thru this 20 years ago but it might as well be 20 thousand years ago .

Who sets the standards anymore ? It isn't a race/creed/color thing it must be who likes piercings and who doesn't ----Me the dad lost because I too had a pierced ear for about 15 minutes in 1967 and didn't understand why people made such a big deal about it.

[Lone_Star_Dem]

28. I was 15, but my daughter was 13.

My father was very old school strict. I was actually one month from 16 before I was permitted to get mine done. The only reason I got them done then was my mom felt sorry for me for having been punished into having all my hair cut off into a boy cut.

My daughter was an only child, too grown up and mature for her age throughout most of her childhood. She had hers done when I was sure she could manage the proper care. It was also the year she got her braces. Which also require a lot of attention and extra care. We never had an issue one with either being neglected.

In other words, it depends on where you are in relation to your child and how responsible your child is. Kids vary, some are just more responsible at a younger age.

[Sweet Freedom]

29. My daughter and I were both 10. /nt

[Lady Freedom Returns]

30. I was 8.

Sadly though, I have some sort of a thing where no mater how long they were in, they would always heal. So at age 22, I went to the Doctor and he used a hot needle to keep the holes open.

[vanlassie]

31. I did my own at 16. Well, I did the left ear...

Big needle, ice. But it made the grossest "pop" sound as it went through! I lost my nerve, then, and couldn't do the right side. Fortunately my younger sister SalviaBlue was willing (happy, actually) to finish the job!! Thanks again, Sal!

[OriginalGeek]

35. lol, never underestimate the eagerness of a sibling to poke holes in you!

[vanlassie]

36. Yeah. She seemed a little OVER eager!

But then, I was standing there with only one damn hole !!!

[Arugula Latte]

32. I finally did it at 16; my daughter was 11, I think.

Last edited Fri Apr 26, 2013, 11:19 AM - Edit history (1)

All her friends had gotten theirs done when they were 7 or 8 or 9, so she was one of the last ones. We would have allowed it earlier, but she was too afraid of the pain before that.

[applegrove]

33. Sixteen. My mom would not allow me to do it until I was 16. The first earing I bought was a

fake-gold metallic leaf. They were in fashion.

[OriginalGeek]

34. I would have had no problem with earlier

but my daughter had no interest until she was about 16. My wife didn't have pierced ears because of allergy problems when she was younger so I guess it was never an issue. My daughter's friends finally talked her into it.

I've been thinking about getting mine done again - haven't had an earring since before I met my wife...

[mzteris]

37. Myself

I was 12.

My daughter? I would've had it done immediately, but no one would. She was six months old when I could have it done.

My sons were about 10 and 5. Or may 9 and 4.. I forget. Funny story about that whole process if any one is interested...

[avebury]

50. OK - Inquiring minds want to hear the funny story.

[mzteris]

58. My older son

Wanted an ear piercing. He was about ten. Very gung ho.

We go to the ear piercing place. He excitedly picks out the earring he wants, but takes forever. His 5 yo little brother was along, btw.

Then we get to the part where they describe the piercing. The older one turns pale.(did I mention that he was incredibly needle phobiic? Phobic as in a very major issue/reaction..) I was very surprised by his decision for the piercing, but thought it good therapy.

So,we get to the piecing part. He waffles. He hems and haws. He turns pale and starts sweating. He talks his little brother into getting one... First. The 5 yo picks out the earring in about 2 seconds, hops in the chair, et voila. He grins, hops down. All done.

The older one starts making excuses. Oh no, I say. You talked your little brother into one. You've been talking about his for months. Come on. Get in the chair. The 5 yo of course starts making fun of him. So he reluctantly climbs in. Snip snap. It's done. The blood completely drains from his face. He tries to stand up. Starts to faint. Starts to feel sick... We have to go get the older one light food to settle his stomached and regulate his good sugar. The 5 yo teased him for days. Ok still does 9 yrs later.

4 yrs Years later, he threatened to punch a little old lady who wanted to take blood. Realized he had a real problem. Decided to overcome it. At 16' eyebrow piercing. Though the ear and that have since grown over now. Ballet dancers ane piercing dont mix well... But he did get a tattoo at 18, never thought it possible.

Btw the funny part was at the beginning wih the 5 yo. Guess you had to be there. .

[ok_cpu]

63. Poor guy. I'm no fan of needles either.

I can only imagine how much grief little bro gave him.

[sarge43]

38. I agree with your wife. Should be your daughter's decision.

Had mine done in my mid 30's. The service finally allowed women to wear earrings while in uniform.

[Maine-ah]

39. I was 7

old enough to clean them and take care of them myself. I was 35/36 though when I got my belly button pierced

My daughter is now 6 years old - she wants to get them done when she turns 7, just like Mamma. I'm good with that.

[NewJeffCT]

40. My daughter was almost 9 when she got her ears pierced

she was one of the last girls in her grade at school to get them pierced - I think it was right before she started 4th grade.

[ok_cpu]

65. That's been the big surprise for me

Back almost 30 years ago, my sister stood out for having hers done so young.

Now a good number of kindergartners and first-graders at the daughter's school are pierced.

[Myrina]

41. I had mine done when I was 12, my mom was with me ...

... and I had my daughter's done when she was 2 - so she would be too young to get geeked out beforehand and pitch a fit.

The place we went (in a mall) had 2 ladies - one for each ear - and they did a 3 - 2 - 1 - fire so both ears were done at the same time & it was over. Worked well, actually.

She didn't wear jewelry much in middle/high school but now at 21 is starting to wear earrings etc.

[Loryn]

42. Had one done in my teens with a needle, and a lot of shaking.

It's not seen an earring in ages. The "regular" piercings I got at a mall when I was about 19, with much less anxiety.

I think she should be able to decide for herself, maybe when she can make that decision, she's ready for it.

[Wait Wut]

43. 15.

I agree that it's best to let the child decide when they're older. At least 12-13.

I still think little girls should be little girls and not have to worry about fashion. They should be playing baseball and beating the boys at bicycle races.

[Still Blue in PDX]

44. I was 20 and married.

My momma said only trashy women had pierced ears. I can't imagine what she would think about my tattoo.

[Loryn]

47. That's funny my mom was the same way.

Now she has her ears pierced, and was strangely interested in my tattoo.

[benld74]

45. We let our daughters decide when they wanted them,,,

they both chose when they were around 11-12 years of age. Wife had her's in high school. I had one of mine at 55.

[sammytko]

46. Most hispanic girls ears are pierced at infancy. I didn't get mine done til I was 15? And never wear

earrings anyway.

It hurt!!

[avebury]

49. My father refused to allow either my sister or myself get our

ears pierced while we underaged. My sister got her ears pierced as soon as she was 18. I waited until I was 20.

I personally think that a child (and boys do get one or both ears pierced) should at least be old enough to be able to take care of their ears while they are healing so as to prevent infection. A person should be old enough to understand and be a part of the decision making process. It seems really cruel to do it to a really young child. Although I understand why Richard Thomas (John Boy Walton) had his triplets ears pierced as babies in order to tell them apart.

[sammytko]

52. His wife was Alma GONZALES, did he have a choice - lol?

Darn, they are divorced!

[avebury]

53. My understanding was that the girls were identical

triplets and they used three different sets of colored gem studs to tell them apart. I hate the idea of piercing a babies ears, however I don't know how you would easily differentiate between identical siblings.

[RILib]

74. they didn't consider bracelets?

[hunter]

51. You think you have a choice?

When you are choosing your battles, ear piercing may or may not be very far down the list. If it's not far down the list consider yourself lucky.

Better any piercings be done professionally instead of by a friend with an ice cube, a needle, and a potato.

I'm not a woman but i do have an ice cube, needle, and potato piercing.

[kurtzapril4]

69. Me too!

Botched, of course! LOL! My sister did it, not too skillfully.

[IrishEyes]

54. On my 11th birthday.

My mom took me to the mall to have it done.

[fizzgig]

55. i was five years old

got my second set when i was 12 or 13. the first set has seen earrings maybe five times in the last five years and it's been more than a decade since the second set has been used.

[winter is coming]

57. I was 15. I didn't really care that much about it one way or the other,

but my 18-year-old sister didn't want to get hers done alone.

Back then, it wasn't unusual to wait until your mid-to-late teens but these days, I see babes in arms with pierced ears. My daughter got hers done when she turned 10. By then, I figured she could take care of the piercings herself, with reminders from me, and she hadn't really shown much interest in it before then.

[Manifestor_of_Light]

59. i got mine done when I was 18. Early 1970s.

My mother whined about how barbaric it was. She and my grandmother wore ugly clip on earrings. Mom thought if you got your ears pierced you must be a hippie slut; also you wore bikini panties, long hair, and no makeup, that proved it.

I got mine done at Foley's Department Store with a gun. The gun had a gold ball earring in it, with a point on the post. After they were healed you could take a nail clipper & cut the point off the post.

Mom wanted real pearl earrings. Dad said he wouldn't buy her real pearl earrings until she got her ears pierced, so she would not lose them. She never got her ears pierced either. I can see exactly why he said that.

I have taken several pairs of mom's earrings to the jeweler and gotten them converted to posts. I got some old Mexican silver earrings changed and they are quite stunning. I've looked on the internet and Mexican silver earrings are expensive.

I've never regretted getting mine pierced. However I have no interest in getting any other parts of my body pierced.

[Jasana]

61. I was 7 years old...

My mother did it with ice cubes (to numb) and then a needle and thread. BTW, I don't recommend that method. I later had them re-pierced professionally so the holes were even. I did that when I was 19. After that I got a double pierce on both ears at the age of 22.

[womanofthehills]

62. my daughter was about 10

my grandaughter even younger.

[MrsBrady]

66. how old is your daughter? n/t

[ok_cpu]

67. Kindergarten

I agree she's too young but was surprised the number of girls in her class that are already pierced.

[NewJeffCT]

80. be prepared for your daughter mentioning

that all the other girls in her grade have their ears pierced more & more as she gets older.

[ok_cpu]

81. Yep. She already has.

That's what kicked off the discussion at home. Wasn't even on our radar until she asked if she could.

[annabanana]

68. Back in the mid-sixties I was DESPERATE to

get my ears pierced. I was 15, and all set to let a girlfriend use an ice cube, a needle that had been passed through a flame, and a piece of cork.

Mom intervened and said that if I waited until I was 16, she'd take me to a doctor and do it properly. Chicken that I was, I agreed.

[alsame]

70. I was 11, but my mother insisted that

it be done by a Dr, not a jewelry store in the mall. I desperately wanted pierced ears so I didn't object.

When I was in college, I got second holes in each ear and I had it done in a mall.

[Quantess]

71. It's weird and totally unlike me to say so, but

I don't like seeing young children with pierced ears. I'm usually opposed to fashion policing, but IMO small children with earrings looks trashy. I don't think anyone younger than 8 should have pierced ears.

[RILib]

72. I can't imagine

having a child's ears pierced. If she wants it done when she's an adult, fine.

[noamnety]

73. My daughter was in kindergarten or first grade.

I wasn't thrilled about it and didn't get my ears pierced until a few years after she did hers.

But she wanted it so much and I believe in picking and choosing my battles. Because I viewed it as an unnecessary luxury, I made her earn the money for it (by raking leaves for me).

[LWolf]

75. I got my ears pierced when I was 12.

I haven't worn earrings in more than a decade, and didn't wear them much the decade before that. I lost interest. I like the earrings themselves, but unless they are tiny little studs, they make my ears sore, get tangled in my hair, and get in the way. So I don't wear them.

Both of my grown sons have pierced ears. The oldest got his ears pierced on a weekend visit to his dad in 8th grade. His dad dropped him off at school on Monday morning...where I worked. His classmates made a big deal of tipping me off when they passed by, so I held out my hand, he dropped the rings into them, and I told him to ask for them back when he was 18. He forgot. He did, though, pierce an eyebrow and his tongue in his early 20s. I never reacted; partly not to give him the satisfaction, and partly because he was old enough to do his own stupid stuff. He gave them up after a couple of years; still occasionally wears an earring or two, though.

My younger? I don't remember. It was after he moved out. He didn't pierce any of his face, so I didn't really notice.

[Nikia]

76. I was 4, but have permanent holes even though I stopped wearing them when I was 8

Part of why I stopped wearing them is because one of the holes is nearly ripped through the bottom of my ear lobe. I really wish that I could have made my own informed decision when I was older.

[GreenPartyVoter]

77. My Dad ordered me to wait until I was 16. My Mom felt that was unreasonable since

his reasoning was that it would make me look "fast" if I had it done too young. This was the 80s, and Mom thought that was ridiculous, so she took me to get them done for my 15th birthday.

(And I rarely wear earrings anymore either.)

[mnhtnbb]

78. 18 and gone to college in 1969. Didn't have any daughters.

But my SIL pierced her only daughter's ears when she was just a baby (now 25). I was, frankly, very surprised.

[Raffi Ella]

79. I got mine done at 9.

It was more my Mom's idea than mine, I was still a tomboy at that age. I went along with it just because I thought all girls got their ears pierced at some point. It hurt like hell though. And I wasn't the best at twisting them every day so they'd scab and hurt even more.

If she wants them I say let her, what's the big deal? But just make sure she knows what she's in for and check in on her afterward to make sure her ears are ok and healing properly.

[ileus]

82. My wife and I agreed to let our daughter decide.

She's now 10 and she still won't even consider it...she's skeert of the needle. LOL