The final decision is not in, but Florida, you MAY be off the hook

[ashling]

http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2013/04/24/former-high-school-jock-takes-probation-on-charges-of-penis-slapping-teammates/

Former high school jock takes probation on charges of penis-slapping teammates

A 19-year-old Minnesota man was put on 10 years of probation for an incident in which he “penis slapped” his high school teammates and exposed himself to 11- and 12-year-old boys.

The Minneapolis Star-Tribune reported on Tuesday that Seth Kellen is also likely to be sentenced to 30 days in jail after admitting to fourth-degree criminal sexual conduct stemming from a March 2012 incident in which he “digitally penetrated” a teammate on the Browerville High School basketball team. He was also accused of pulling his pants down in an elevator in front of teammates and an 11-year-old and a 12-year-old student managers, then hitting his teammates in the back with his penis.

Kellen and another former Browerville High athlete, Connor S. Burns, were accused in July 2012 of attacking at least six fellow students. Burns struck a 5-year probation deal similar to Kellen’s that November.

[Bucky]

1. I'm surprised he got off so easy.

Wait, I didn't mean it that way!

[Gidney N Cloyd]

10. ...

[Moondog]

2. I must be missing something.

This story has what to do with Florida?

[Tommy_Carcetti]

3. Apparently crazy stuff only happens in Florida.

It's not our fault that we as Floridians are the only ones to revel in our insanity, whereas 49 other states try to deny that they too are just as equally batshit insane.

[Moondog]

6. Yeah, apparently.

The leap on that one was more than a bit attenuated, however.

[Tommy_Carcetti]

7. We Floridians have made it our industry in insanity.

Read any Carl Hiaasen or Tim Dorsey novel, hilarious as can be. There's a self-deprecating quality when it comes to be a Floridian.

But if only citizens of other states realize that their shit does stink pretty awful.

[Moondog]

8. Oh, I have a full set of Dorsey. All gifts from Tim, all autographed.

It is the incredible contortions that some go through in an attempt to make a Florida joke that, at times, become more than a bit grating.

And what is truly fascinating is that the biggest bozos in the news nearly always turn out to be recent arrivals from somewhere else in the Lower 48. Locations on the I-95 and I-75 corridors - NY, NJ, PA, OH, IL being the most prevalent.

[Tommy_Carcetti]

9. I take no offense whatsoever to the OP insinuating that Floridians are crazy.

Indeed, we are crazy.

It's just that everyone else is pretty much just as crazy.

We're just the only ones honest about it, that's all.

[Moondog]

11. I rarely do either. But there are times when it just gets

on my last nerve.

I haven't had a drink in several days. Perhaps I need to rectify that oversight.

To Ashling - Peace.

[RebelOne]

13. Yes, I was a crazy Floridian most of my life,

but now I am a former crazy Floridian living in Georgia. And I am just as crazy because most Georgians are a bit nuts.

[ashling]

4. There have been multiple post about crazy shit

that happens in Florid - this just might top those

actually, it doesn't by a long shot, but ....

[Moondog]

5. I see. Thank you.

[Callmecrazy]

12. Hey!!...

Who you callin' crazy?

Oh wait, nevermind.