OK, what's YOUR excuse?

[MrScorpio]

And make it a good one.

Time is money.

[Scuba]

1. Sir, no excuse, sir!

[pinboy3niner]

2. Hold on a sec, okay? I'll get right back to you...

[pinboy3niner]

3. Dear Boss...

(Written by Pat Cooksey)

Dear Boss, I write this note to you to tell you of my plight;
At the time of writing I am not a pretty sight;
My body is all black and blue, my face a deathly grey,
So I write this note to say why Paddy's not at work today.

While working on the 14th floor, some bricks I had to clear;
To throw them down from off the top seemed like a good idea;
But the foreman wasn't very pleased, he was an awkward sod,
And he said I had to cart them down a ladder in my hod.

Now, to clear away these bricks by hand to me seemed very slow,
So I hoisted up a barrel and secured the rope below;
But in my haste to do the job, I was too blind to see
That a barrel full of building bricks was heavier than me.

So when I had untied the rope, the barrel fell like lead;
Hanging tightly to the rope I started up instead;
I sped off like a rocket, and to dismay I found
That halfway up I met the bloody barrel coming down.

Now, the barrel broke my shoulder as to the ground it sped,
When I reached the top I banged the pulley with my head;
I held on tight, though numb with shock from this almighty blow,
And the barrel spilled out half its load, 14 floors below.

Well, when the bricks had fallen from the barrel to the floor,
I then outweighed the barrel, and it started up once more;
I held on tightly to the rope, as I flew towards the ground,
And I landed on the broken bricks that were scattered all around.

As I lay there moaning on the bricks, I thought I'd passed the worst,
But when the barrel reached the top was when the bottom burst;
A shower of bricks came down on me, I didn't have a hope,
And in all of the confusion, I let go the bloody rope.

The barrel again being heavier, it started down once more,
And landed right on top of me as I lay there on the floor;
It broke three ribs and my left arm, and I can only say,
That I hope you understand why Paddy's not at work today.

http://seamuskennedy.com/pdf/lyrics-live.pdf

[baldguy]

6. Of course Jamie & Adam did this one:

[Callmecrazy]

4. I didn't know jello would do that.

and the fire spread too fast.

[LeftofObama]

7. Two bowls of Raisin Bran

and only prune juice to wash it down. What did you expect?

[Tuesday Afternoon]

8. The IRS office was closed early.

[sarge43]

9. At the time seemed like a good idea.

Otherwise got nothin'

[In_The_Wind]

10. I can see how that might delay things a bit.

[sarge43]

11. Yeah. Had to rearrange a lot of schedules.

The paperwork outweighed the train.

[In_The_Wind]

14. Don't ya just hate it when that happens!

That's why I like being the boss.

My only paperwork is: Checking permits and sending in bills after the job is done.

[sarge43]

18. Riff on classic gov't bureaucracy joke

Re Aircraft Accident Board. The investigation isn't completed until the paperwork outweighs the plane. It's just about true. Hell, the regulation itself outweighs the pilot.

[In_The_Wind]

19. I totally understand that.

I rarely fly if I can drive.

[HappyMe]

12. Well, it's gonna sound lame, but

I thought turkeys could fly!

[In_The_Wind]

17. The turkeys up here fly.

just sayin'

[Callmecrazy]

13. I didn't know the sponge was supposed to be wet.

[In_The_Wind]

16. Again with that damn thing ...

http://www.democraticunderground.com/?com=view_post&forum=1018&pid=363910

[Brigid]

15. My cat ate my homework.

Honest.

[Major Nikon]

20. I didn't do it

[IrishEyes]

21. Jake from The Blues Brothers said it best.

Jake: Oh, please, don't kill us! Please, please don't kill us! You know I love you baby. I wouldn't leave ya. It wasn't my fault!
Mystery Woman: You miserable slug! You think you can talk your way out of this? You betrayed me.
Jake: No, I didn't. Honest... I ran out of gas. I... I had a flat tire. I didn't have enough money for cab fare. My tux didn't come back from the cleaners. An old friend came in from out of town. Someone stole my car. There was an earthquake. A terrible flood. Locusts! IT WASN'T MY FAULT, I SWEAR TO GOD!

[Phentex]

22. I was out of town...

so it could not have been me!

[EvilAL]

23. My mama always said

that there wasn't any excuse for me.

[edbermac]

24. I was born that way.

[ohiosmith]

25. I didn't think one would be missed!

[Lady Freedom Returns]

26. Well. Uh...

OH!
"The Devil! YES! The devil made me do it!"

[LiberalEsto]

27. Sciatica

but if you're referring to taxes, I filed ours back in February.

[Loryn]

28. Because I don't want to....

[olddots]

29. the dog ate my homework

My fusion generator was on the fritz and the shmengars were frozen.

[kwassa]

30. I was waylaid by pirates.

[Bertha Venation]

31. I forgot my meds.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

32. My dog ate it.

Whatever it was that I was supposed to have, the dog ate it.

[Kali]

33. the weather was fine

and guys were working on trucks

[nolabear]

34. I was young; I needed the money.

Why? What did you hear?

[applegrove]

35. The toilet isn't working. The chain mechanism broke.

[Jasana]

36. I don't need an excuse.

[img][/img]

[Apophis]

37. It was like that when I got here.

[bluedigger]

38. Was that wrong?

[rrneck]

39. Oh...

[davsand]

40. That *&^%ing alarm didn't go off.

I'm SURE I set it!



Laura

[hobbit709]

41. I'm the hobbit, I don't need one.

[lindysalsagal]

42. He started it.

[Recovered Repug]

43. It's not that I'm lazy.

It's just that I don't care.